love is fading

[vivianyin]

I m in a ldr with my boyfriend,i havent seen him for 7 months,our relationship is getting worse. He told me he felt that our love is fading. I can feel it too through our conversation . I don't want it to end, I want to save the relationship. What should I do? He is coming back in January next year. What can I do within these few months to get back the sparks?

[Tommybat]

try to spend more time together? have date nights, movie nights, send each other things, talks, do little things so you know you guys know you are thinking of each other, take ideas from the list of things, skype dates, etc. just basically do little things to get the interest going again. Play a game of 100 questions. hope this helps!

[D.4C]

i would say try and find new and exciting things to do with each other...to keep things fresh...variety is a good thing...mix it up between talking on the phone one night...just texting another night...maybe instant messenger another...and skype yet another...send cards through the mail with love letters...maybe a picture....

[temporaryuser]

what is the reason for the separation? School, family move etc?
Is the love fading because of a lack of communication, too much communication, trust issues?
Ldr's are hard, and everyone handles them differently. So it takes different things to make them work for different people. Find different ways to communicate - send written letters, emails instead of short texts. Send a homeade card once in a while. skype if that is an option. if it is a lack of things to talk about, are you texting/talking constantly? if so, back it off so you have more to share.

[vivianyin]

Studying abroad is the reason of separation. I have tried sending hand make cards, date nights, letters,etc. He felt very pressure. He still wants me just the feeling is lost. I have a heart to heart talk to him, he says he needs time to find back those feelings. I even thought of going to the country he is now to study with him next year. He told me that he doesn't want me to regret studying there just to shorten our distance. Thank you very much for the advice guys, much appreciated.

[Shanondorf]

I don't know if I'm too late on this, but is there something keeping you from going to visit him for a short time at least? Maybe check into studying there to if it's right for you too. You never know what could happen, you might fall in love with the place.

[mawlz2012]

It sounds like the little spark has started to extinguish... I don't know about the boundaries of your relationship, but have you tried doing some sexier things to rekindle the romance? From what you're saying about "the feeling is lost," it just sounds like you might be in a rut. The basic companionship is there, but the stronger romantic desire might have become a little stale. You could try sending him some sexy pictures of yourself (be VERY careful about the process of sending it--don't want it to end up in the wrong hands!!), or you could try recreating intimate encounters with him over the phone. The website that hosts this forum has some sexier gift ideas and tips on how to be intimate via long-distance.

However you choose to put it into action is your choice--the essence of my advice is to try to rekindle some intimacy so you both feel "the feeling" that you both feel that you've lost.

[temporaryuser]

you are only 17. Is there a chance with him studying abroad that he could be making new friends and has met someone else that has peaked his interest? Or just the fact that he is meeting new people in general?
You can try talking thru this. I wouldnt suggest going there to study yourself unless it is something you would have done without him in your life.

[lovedup]

I have the same problem too, I know I love my girlfriend to bits, she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, but the feeling went like a light switch being turned off... Somebody mentioned something and it triggered a doubt, which them brought on a empty feeling, and now my heart hurts. I'm going to see her in march but I don't know what to do right now.
I want to stick with it and see what happens in march. Maybe that's what you should do, stick it out and see if the feelings are there when you go to see him.

Sorry about the rant, I've been really upset :'(

[MattDavies86]

Did he come back this month yet? Are you guys still fighting the good fight?