I want to do cutesy things, god dammit xD

[MaggieS]

So I keep looking through the 'things to do with your SO' forum, might not be the exact name but we all get the gist, and I keep finding things I would LOVE to do...but I think he'd think it's stupid or silly

Like the ice breaker website, or the 1000+ questions for couples book, or this site that lets you leave stickies for one another, or falling asleep on skype(even if it's incredibly difficult with our time difference), or watching a movie/tv show together on skype! Or playing an online game together! Plus a thousand other things xD

How do I go about suggesting them to him without sounding like a clingy weirdo? How did you first brooch the subject when your LDR was new? I really want to suggest one of the questions type ones, because I feel like our conversations start nowhere and end up at sex half the time, and while that's fun...I'd like to talk to him? I'm just worried that he'll say it sounds stupid, or only agree to do it because I want to and not because he thinks it's a good idea.

:/ How did you handle it?

[Black_Halloween]

I think you just approach it like "Hey we should play a game!" and act all excited:]

[D.4C]

i would just bring up all those to him...and see if there is one he would be happy doing...me...i would do all of them...and already do some of them...for me...i am sooo happy to do them...i guess i'm a little more in touch with my feelings and emotions that most guys...i absolutely love all the cutsey things...lovey dovey things...and i know she loves that i do...not all conversations have to end up in talking about sex...a good relationship doesn't have to be all about sex...do i want to have sex with my girlfriend...of course i do...but it's not what is most important...the sticky notes one is an incredible amount of fun...and it's free...what's better than that?...lol...just let him know that you would like to do some new things to spice up your relationship...he should be more than ok with that

[Bbth]

I told him about the site and gave him the link to the list haha
It was easy because we tell each other pretty much everything

[Katelyn313]

Actually, I just this minute mentioned something similar to this to Dylan in an email...

He's the one who found this site for us because this relationship is really important to us. We read through the activities together (so like Bbth said, send him the link!) and then we went through them and talked about what we thought (another good way to get conversation going). Some of them didn't work for us and some we still do. I really wasn't sure he'd be into them like I would be, but he seemed open to the idea to at least attempt them.

I was just telling him today how thankful I was that he writes in our journal and how I thought many more guys might do it if their SO's would just ask. Because that's truly all I did! Going down the list I said, "Oh, wouldn't that be cool? Then the (future, yet unborn) kids would have a record of our story in our handwriting... how cool" And he mentioned how it was cool, but he wasn't sure we could keep it up. I told him I'd be willing to give it a shot and he went out the next afternoon and bought us a journal. And we've been writing in it for 6 months now. It'll be nice to go back to when we're old and married

Give it a shot, ask him what he thinks. Don't be scared of your SO's reaction...he loves you. Men have done far stranger things for love

Let us know how it goes and good luck!!

[Zephii]

Does he need to know where the questions are coming from? Can't you just get the book and start asking, one or two at a time?

I second what Black Halloween said, just suggest it - like it's normal. Things are only weird and lame if you treat them like they are weird and lame

[mawlz2012]

Yeah, I created a dashboard on the listhings website, and before I shared it with my boyfriend, I also hesitated like the OP thinking that he might think it was too kitschy or cutesy. I gave it the spin that it was a way for me to send him little surprise encouraging notes without cluttering up his inboxes. (He works as a researcher in computer science and artificial intelligence, so he gets lots of work emails and texts, and sometimes my little cute things get lost in there.) I put this "spin" on the idea in one of the notes on the dashboard. Surprisingly, he was all over it, and was talking to me on the phone about how to use it! He liked that we had a totally new way of interacting while we were apart! You might be surprised by what your SO thinks is too kitschy and what is actually really meaningful to him/her.

As far as the book of questions goes, I agree with some of the above posters: Why not just ask the questions? If the questions in the book that you want to ask seem like they'd be a little non sequitur for your typical phone conversations, then just bookmark them, and the next time you're both struggling to think of something to say, just tell him, "Hey, I found this book of conversation-starter questions. Wanna give it a go?" And if he doesn't, well then, you'll have it for future conversations with him. Or for entertaining guests!

And all in all, in the end, even if he thinks the suggestions are silly and doesn't wanna participate in all of these ideas... I'm sure he'll still think that it's cute that you're a little bit silly like that, and that you think outside the box.

[rina]

Well i'm not sure if i can give an actual advice on how to approach this cause Bram and i always did silly things together even as friends.. and yes, even then half our conversations ended up in sex.. must be a belgian thing ha! But anyway we're really fond of using this remote desktop program called TeamViewer that lets your partner connect to your desktop and they can see what your doing and they can even use your mouse and look around.. we always have it on and one of us will always randomly connect to the other without notice. I really like the trust feeling we get from this.. anyway, one time he connected and i was browsing the 100 things to do list here on LFAD and the didn't seem interested in this at first (and im pretty sure he thought it was silly) but after a few day i "caught" him browsing it next thing i know.. he's using my account to browse around, and then he even got his own account.

Whenever i want to try something with him.. i just shove it in his face, if he doesn't like it he'll mention it and we'll drop it. That's just our couple dynamics i guess..but so far he liked maybe 90% of the stuff i suggested doing. I once found a cute lil picture with a map that had hearts on countries' names. I though it was cute and he dismissed it as being "more of a girl thing".. a few months later he shopped a picture of us and added a red heart border around it... "girly thing" right?