Hello all, I just kind of want to get this out of my system as I'm struggling to think straight lately. It's long but I hope it makes sense. I think it'll help me by putting it down in words too actually.
My man and I have been together since May last year and been long distance from the start. He means the world to me. We've*talked about moving into together and the plan is for me to move up and live with him come January.
Although initially I thought that was an amazing idea, and I still do want to it would be fantastic to be able to do that, I've been giving an awful lot of thought the idea that it's not just a dream but now going to be a reality.*
I don't have doubts. I know that it's what I want and he's the one. I just don't know how I truly feel about leaving home.
I currently have a good job working in an airport. It's a six month contract so that's why the the plan is to move in when it's finished. However.. It pays well and can potentially lead to bigger and better opportunities within the airport as there are so many roles you can do. It could be a career. There's no guarantee that I will be kept on but potentially I will be.
Although my dream job is to join the police myself (the job my man has) there is no chance of me getting in. I am in the process of joining as a volunteer in the police at home (I won't go into too much detail as I appreciate most of you won't be familiar with the system) which will now be the only way to eventually lead to a paid job in the force. If I was to leave home I'd have to start all over again up north and at the moment they don't need volunteers so who knows when I could do it, if at all. The only other alternative would be to travel back home every time I needed to train and each time I'd have a shift. I'd be prepared to do it however then comes another difficulty..
A job. I've looked. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that interests me, that I would or could enjoy doing or pays remotely well. I'd need to find a job flexible enough to do the training for the volunteer role for the police, and then the shifts. Any jobs I have found that I think, yeah I wouldn't mind doing that, are all down south in London. It's so disheartening.*
Not only that but I know absolutely no one else up north other than him. No one. Yes I will make friends but it would be nice to have someone to talk to, to go out with other than my man, you know? I've only met 2 of his friends once. When we were 10 months into our relationship. And it was horrible, and awkward and I didn't enjoy one moment of it. I've not seen any one else or seen them again. I can, to a point, see why we don't go out and see his friends all the time as we don't get that long with each other and when we do we want to spend it together.
I need to, somehow, bring up a discussion about kids. If he would like to have them, at some point, in the future. I have no plans to have any anytime soon, I'm only 21 but I don't want to make such a commitment of moving away if he doesn't want them as I will. How the hell do I even get on to discussing that!?! Argh
I just feel a little overwhelmed. All these thoughts and worries going round my head and I can't seem to sort them out nor think how to approach any of them. It's not a question about whether I love him or not. I do. He is wonderful. It's just everything else that I'm struggling with.
My man and I have been together since May last year and been long distance from the start. He means the world to me. We've*talked about moving into together and the plan is for me to move up and live with him come January.
Although initially I thought that was an amazing idea, and I still do want to it would be fantastic to be able to do that, I've been giving an awful lot of thought the idea that it's not just a dream but now going to be a reality.*
I don't have doubts. I know that it's what I want and he's the one. I just don't know how I truly feel about leaving home.
I currently have a good job working in an airport. It's a six month contract so that's why the the plan is to move in when it's finished. However.. It pays well and can potentially lead to bigger and better opportunities within the airport as there are so many roles you can do. It could be a career. There's no guarantee that I will be kept on but potentially I will be.
Although my dream job is to join the police myself (the job my man has) there is no chance of me getting in. I am in the process of joining as a volunteer in the police at home (I won't go into too much detail as I appreciate most of you won't be familiar with the system) which will now be the only way to eventually lead to a paid job in the force. If I was to leave home I'd have to start all over again up north and at the moment they don't need volunteers so who knows when I could do it, if at all. The only other alternative would be to travel back home every time I needed to train and each time I'd have a shift. I'd be prepared to do it however then comes another difficulty..
A job. I've looked. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that interests me, that I would or could enjoy doing or pays remotely well. I'd need to find a job flexible enough to do the training for the volunteer role for the police, and then the shifts. Any jobs I have found that I think, yeah I wouldn't mind doing that, are all down south in London. It's so disheartening.*
Not only that but I know absolutely no one else up north other than him. No one. Yes I will make friends but it would be nice to have someone to talk to, to go out with other than my man, you know? I've only met 2 of his friends once. When we were 10 months into our relationship. And it was horrible, and awkward and I didn't enjoy one moment of it. I've not seen any one else or seen them again. I can, to a point, see why we don't go out and see his friends all the time as we don't get that long with each other and when we do we want to spend it together.
I need to, somehow, bring up a discussion about kids. If he would like to have them, at some point, in the future. I have no plans to have any anytime soon, I'm only 21 but I don't want to make such a commitment of moving away if he doesn't want them as I will. How the hell do I even get on to discussing that!?! Argh
I just feel a little overwhelmed. All these thoughts and worries going round my head and I can't seem to sort them out nor think how to approach any of them. It's not a question about whether I love him or not. I do. He is wonderful. It's just everything else that I'm struggling with.
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