I don't know how to be a girlfriend anymore.

[MAB15]

Hey, so I am not really sure if I know how to be a girlfriend anymore. I have been away from him for so long that I am just so use to it. I 'feel' single...I move home in 21 days and I am nervous because I have grown so comfortable with the feeling of being on my own. Does anyone experience similar feelings? I haven't talked to him for about 5 days now, he's out of town visiting family, perhaps this could be contributing to my feelings, since we usually talk every day? I don't know...any input would be great! Thanks!!

[NaNi]

Hm, I always feel the complete opposite. Whenever I can't talk to my SO (we usually talk almost every day too) I really feel the need to and get sad and can't wait for the day until we are able to talk again.

[agentholli]

I don't know if this will help, but sometimes when I miss him so much, I think, whatever, I don't need you. I am a strong woman and I can do this on my own...its like a defensive mechanism that I do. And then I start thinking about how I am good without a man and blah blah, but really deep down, I am crumbling.

Maybe you have the same sorta thing going on? I hope you can work it out!

[stacyrose]

I agree with agentholli.

Sometimes I feel like I should be alot stronger on my own, and I feel like even if we broke up I should be able to go on and be strong as an individual without him, but the truth is I'd be a mess without him. I'm pretty sure the feeling will pass...in my opinion the distance effects each individual slightly different. This may be how you feel now but once you are will him or talk to him again the feeling might go away? It's hard to say. Just try not to give up! Thats all I really tell myself when times get tough.

[MAB15]

yea, it could be how I deal with it when I don't talk to him for a while. I will never give up on us, we are amazing together! I am just so close to coming home that I am so anxious! I actually enjoy that we get time apart like this you know? It helps me appreciate that much more that we get to talk often. I also really enjoy my independence and time to myself and I know he does to. I know that once I talk to him that feeling will go away but it just stinks for now lol and I am kinda being like "whatever I don't need you" kinda attitude lol, but I do need him in some ways, but since being on my own for so long I've learned to really rely on myself for a lot of things which is great...these feelings will come out in the wash...I just need to let them flow through me, I know they will pass, thanks everyone!

[garnet]

When I got divorced, I had a good long time alone, and even when I got together with Rane, I totally felt single when he wasn't here. Loyal to him of course, but on my own, for sure. Now that Rane has moved in, I'm having a very hard time of letting go of the idea that it isn't just me anymore. That I have help when I need it, I don't HAVE to do everything alone. I didn't expect my reaction to this, but I flipped out on him more than once when he was just being nice and trying to give me a hand. It's a hard transition when you live without them, without seeing them, living your day to day with just you. I understand.

[agentholli]

also keep in mind, that it is a good thing to be independent. I belive that before you can be successful in a relationship, you have to be comfortable being alone. I have always been told, that you are ready for a relationship, if you can go to the movie by yourself. It kinda sounds silly but i really think it to be true.

[MadMolly]

You get used to it again; it takes a while but I promise you do!

[5000miles]

My SO says stuff like this all the time. That he's afraid he won't be good at being with me because it's been so long. I think that's just silly. I understand where the feelings come from (I have them too in a way), but I know that as soon as I'm with him it will all feel natural. Sure, it might take a few days getting used to, but I think that when you're with the person you love, those kind of details work themselves out. And, you can be independent and still in a relationship. You just have to find the right balance.

Good luck.