SO not eating well?

[Sharon Q]

Okay so I've been promising my SO that I would send him food. But I havent been able to because I've needed to cover my phone bill.

Last pay day I asked him if he wanted me to send him food, he said he was fine on food. So instead I gave a friend $20 to help her with a court fine, She got a ticket for a car wreck that she wasnt even involved in, If she didnt pay court fees and go to court the ticket would have been $300 or more.

I cant send him food this pay day because I have to cover my phone.

The other day we were talking and he said he wasnt eating well and he wouldnt be until he figures something out. I offered to send him food. And he told me " you've been saying that for months and you havent done it, just forget it, you need to save money anyway. "

-___- uh really just last week I offered and you were fine. So when I had the money you were okay but now that I'm broke you're telling you havent been eating well.


So what I'm thinking about doing is waiting til I get the money ( not this pay but next ) sending him a good care package. And having it be a surprise.

Now I know, " Why not just send him money for food ?" its the gesture of buying and shipping him food ( something I've told him I would do for months ) that matters to me and Im sure it would mean more to him than just sending him $40

I'm really worried about his health here. I want to get him healthy stuff that would have good protein. I know most of it will have to be can goods tho. Stuff that wont go bad quickly and stuff he could keep for a while. This is something I want to do before I move because I keep telling him I will and I havent. Its the principal of the thing ya know?


Any idea of some good healthy things to send that could get him up to par nutritionally?

[snow_girl]

I'm really worried about his health here. I want to get him healthy stuff that would have good protein. I know most of it will have to be can goods tho. Stuff that wont go bad quickly and stuff he could keep for a while.

This is a contradiction in my mind. Things that are healthy are fresh fruit and vegetables not boxed potatoes. You can't make him eat heathy and I don't get why he can't buy it himself? You can't force someone to eat healthy, its a lifestyle choice he needs to want to cook healthy meals and take time to do it rather then heating up a meal from a can.

[Sharon Q]

Its not so much the healthy part as the nutritional part. If he hasnt been eating well then his nutrition will be down.

[snow_girl]

Its not so much the healthy part as the nutritional part. If he hasnt been eating well then his nutrition will be down.

Those go hand in hand, you can't have something nutritional if it isn't healthy. Why isn't he eating healthy?

[Sharon Q]

He doesnt have much money, and he refuses to go to the schools cafe ( we go to job corps where your a resident if you don't live close, they feed you three times a day but the food can mess up your stomach. ) That and I think people are messing with him every time he goes into the cafe. So basically if you want better food you have to buy it. He was telling me about their cafe a while back and informed me that they had served food ( some kind of soup I think it was ) that had been sitting out in the open over night. Their food workers dont exactly follow protocol.

They dont fallow serve safe guidelines here either ( at my job corps center, we both go to one just in different states ) I've had to ask people to put on hair nets, put on or change gloves etc, they really arnt all that clean, theyve had food fall on the counter and still put it on someone plate.

[efish1042]

You can send him canned soups. Those are pretty healthy if you get the right ones. And they can have protein if you get, say, beef stew. Yeah, it's no mom's veggie casserole, but it's relatively healthy, cheap, and will keep him fed.
Also granola and protein bars. Maybe a whole grain cereal. You could maybe look online or in a newspaper to see if you can find coupons to your local grocery store.

I must wonder why it falls on you to provide food? I understand he's in bad circumstances, but what would he do if he didn't have you to fall back on? Does he not have parents who can send care packages or something? I'm also currently trying to make sure my SO eats well, but in different circumstances, so I sympathize, but I don't have to provide him with food.

ETA: And his response to your last offer to help? Sounded like "I know I said I'm fine, but you should have sent food anyway" which is not only rude but ungrateful. I hope I misread or he was in a particularly bad mood.

[Sharon Q]

His family situation isnt the best. His dad kicked him out ( the whole reason we are long distance is because of his dad ) His mom chose the step dad over him ( Mom and step dad are getting a divorce I think ) The only family that shows they really care for him are his grandma, grandpa, aunts and cousins, He doesnt like the thought of relying on them or asking for help because he isnt that close to them. This is the first time he's really been back to see them in a very long time. He lives with his aunt when on breaks and is on center the rest of the time.

I think things are starting to get better with his mom tho. But as I said he isnt close to his family, tho he does seem to be getting better with that, he talks to some of them a little more.

He only asked me to send food once after I had asked him for a gift idea for him. He hasnt asked again.
Ive been offering, but I get caught up in my own stuff. He cant get food stamps because he is in a government funded program where they feed the students three meals a day. For him to get food stamps would be illegal.

They give him a card for lunch at the college, but that's not much help for breakfast of dinner.

I've always helped him out with things like this because his family doesnt and the family that will he doesnt want to ask because I think hes afraid of ruining the relationships he has with them by asking for things.

[Tommybat]

When I was little I lived off of bagged beans for a while? like the sort you have to re hydrate. High in protein and very versatile. if he doesn't mind eating a lot of them and cooking them different ways, that could help?
You could also try corn for soup and such?

[D.4C]

you can send string cheese that is individually wrapped...like vacuum packed...those will keep...and are good...and good for you