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arrrg! too much stress!

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    arrrg! too much stress!

    1 more week till I leave for university but there is just so much bothering me. My SO and I have been anxious and worry about my next trip and it got the better of us. we fought again today. It started when I post a pic of 2 cats sleeping together with the caption "let's go to bed :3". I posted it because I thought it would make her feel better after so much work and so much stress. she replied my pic on facebook with a cold answer that she can't sleep now and then I just wanted to loosen up a bit and said 'guess I will have to go to bed alone now. ' I thought a bit joke would do but no. she called my insensitive and didn't understand her. I said to that it was to cheer her up, but she said it made her more stressful because she feels like she's abandoning me. we continued to fight and I asked what's happening to us. she made 6 clear point:
    1. I'm leaving
    2. She can't give up/pause her work for me
    3. She's being very easily stressed
    4. I have physical demand that she can't provide
    5. We have so many worries about the future
    6. There is no solution

    A bit more detail.

    1,2:I'm leaving and she has so much work to do. She's the vice president of her club in uni and the will be some activities in the near future that she needs to take care of. apart from the work relate stress, she's also worried about not giving me a last date before I leave. It's been 2 weeks since we had a proper date, the others mostly are when she finishes work or uni and have a short meet. as I said in many other posts, she's a workaholic and she can't give up or even pause her work.
    3: she's stressed about her work and about not doing what I want or what she wants. and she's stressed about our future.
    4: I admit I have physical demand. but it only becomes a problem because we haven't do it for 2 weeks. she's just too stressed to do it. we planned some private time together but all of them is cancelled because of the stress and her sudden meeting.
    5: Personally, I'm worried that the work is going to kill our romance and eventually our relationship. Moreover, her next plan is becoming president of the club, and an admin of another musical project, apart from her part time job in the weekends and her uni course. that is just too much and I don't even know when she's going to have time with me. and because of this, she's scared that I might get fed up and see someone else. We used to fight because I was uncomfortably (to her) close to some other girl. I don't want her to feel insecure so I become more cautious in front of girls. but she keeps being worried because of the past.
    6: enough said, this is causing both of us stress.

    I'm sorry if it sounds a bit selfish but I really want her to give up some time for me. but I guess I will have to wait, at least.
    We thought that if she's having too much to handle, I will have to pick up her slack and nurture this relationship, but honestly, in the long run, I don't know what to do with her workaholism and her ambition, as well as relieving stress for both of us, especially hers. I really need some advice from you guys

    #2
    i guess one of two things is gonna have to happen...you are gonna have to be ok with her workacholicism and extracurricular activities...or she is gonna have to make time for you and for the both of you...if neither of you are willing to compromise...i don't see a very good outcome honestly....to have a good relationship...you have to be able to spend some time together...otherwise why bother being in a relationship...i don't think you are being selfish at all...so..i guess you need to sit and talk with her...and see what she really wants...and let her know how much the lack of relationship time is affecting you...good luck...

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      #3
      i am actually ok with her work. but recently it's gone out of control. she cancelled our date, even on skype. and she's not even sure when it's gonna stop. the only way we might be able to communicate is talking while she is working or simply looking at each other if she is too busy to even talk. I think she does want to talk and spend time with me. but her effing work isn't like that. especially now. it just keep spinning both of us around

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        #4
        Text throughout out the day. Your worse case scenario was better than my situation before my CDR turned LDR became. He dedicated zero times for me and stress piled on like no tomorrow. Dedicate phone time. Even if it's a good night. It can't be skipped. Video messages and audio message when possible but if your SO is like my ex SO, then prepare for a difficult ride and suck it in if not it can end up... Ended. I'm speaking from experience, obviously every situation is different but preparing for the worst is the best way to go about it.

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