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    Hi! My names Melissa. I am 23 and I just found myself in a LDR. I have been dating Joel on and off for 5 years. The last year was very serious. So serious that he proposed 3 days before he moved to Wales to study for a year. I am now dealing with the beginning emotions of an LDR.

    Does anyone have any advice on how to make this initial blow easier? I feel so empty without him here!

    #2
    Communication! :3 sorry, creative communication!
    Skype, Oovoo, Pair, Letters, Emails, Text messages, Videos, Date Nights, etc.

    Communicate as much as possible
    Take a look at the LFAD 100 things to do.

    I find being in communication with my SO makes the relationship a little easier.
    But the foundations to a relationship are also essential being Trust, Understanding, Communication, etc. Moreso in a LDR I believe.

    It's not going to be easy some days are really hard, but you guys have been together for five years so he must be worth it to you. Do as much as you can with him to spend time together and communicate, etc. You guys have distance so you cannot physically be together, but that doesn't mean you guys can't be together.

    Welcome to LFAD

    Comment


      #3
      Thank you for the advice!
      This first week is probably going to be the hardest for me. There is a 4 hour time difference and he doesn't have a strong internet connection yet. So I have barely talked to him. Makes things so much harder.

      I am praying this gets easier. I don't think I can handle random crying spells for a year! lol

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by mmarkh02 View Post
        Thank you for the advice!
        This first week is probably going to be the hardest for me. There is a 4 hour time difference and he doesn't have a strong internet connection yet. So I have barely talked to him. Makes things so much harder.

        I am praying this gets easier. I don't think I can handle random crying spells for a year! lol
        Keep strong my dear!! As mentioned communciation is the key...and I understand what you mean when you say he doesn't have a strong internet connection, because my hubby doesn't either & it causes us some problems. If we can't get hold of each other via the internet I text his cell phone, send him emails even though I know he won't get them straight away. Send letters, cards etc Just lets him know that he's been in your thoughts. And yes the time difference doesn't help matters but you can work through it.




        Started Writing - February 2010
        First Visit - September 2010
        Second Visit - June 2011
        Third Visit & His Release Date - February 2012
        Our Wedding Day - April 2012
        Submitted I-130 Visa Application - July 2012
        NOA1 - July 2012
        NOA2 - December 2012
        Fourth Visit - December 2012
        Closing The Distance - Watch this space

        Comment


          #5
          Yup, you must know exactly how I feel!
          It's nice to know someone else out there knows how i feel.
          And the tips are great.
          I'm a week in, and i am doing better! Thanks so much guys

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by mmarkh02 View Post
            Yup, you must know exactly how I feel!
            It's nice to know someone else out there knows how i feel.
            And the tips are great.
            I'm a week in, and i am doing better! Thanks so much guys
            If you ever need an ear to bend or someone to talk too, then I'm here. The time difference really makes it hard...but if your determined enough then it can work.......




            Started Writing - February 2010
            First Visit - September 2010
            Second Visit - June 2011
            Third Visit & His Release Date - February 2012
            Our Wedding Day - April 2012
            Submitted I-130 Visa Application - July 2012
            NOA1 - July 2012
            NOA2 - December 2012
            Fourth Visit - December 2012
            Closing The Distance - Watch this space

            Comment


              #7
              [IMG] keep photos online[/IMG]
              NoThInG iS ImPoSsiBlE..

              Comment


                #8
                I also suggest you two make it a point to make eachother and yourselves laugh. You'll be surprised how much that helps and how long that sticks with you. One suggestion I have is you get a sex-doll and stick a picture of his face on it :'D. The gender of the sex-doll is up to you :P. Send him a picture of it too :'D.

                Comment


                  #9
                  As the other girls said, communication is key. Another thing that is really important (especially with the time difference) is to be flexible with schedules and don't get short with him if you happen to not get to talk for a bit because of conflicts with your times/responsibilities. There's a BIG amount of support here on the forum, and it's great to ask questions and just to vent should you need to. If you ever want/need to talk, just shoot me a message, I'll be more than happy to talk with you!
                  Jacob&Heather

                  Met: June 2019
                  Dating: December 2019
                  First Meeting: April 2020 (Coming soon!)

                  "Simple as can be."
                  - Florida Georgia Line -

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by mmarkh02 View Post
                    Hi! My names Melissa. I am 23 and I just found myself in a LDR. I have been dating Joel on and off for 5 years. The last year was very serious. So serious that he proposed 3 days before he moved to Wales to study for a year. I am now dealing with the beginning emotions of an LDR.

                    Does anyone have any advice on how to make this initial blow easier? I feel so empty without him here!
                    Initial blow? You make it sound like there is definitely more to come. I understand the shock of his marriage proposal, then his going to Wales three days later to study. But, The fact that he proposed, is something monumental to be happy about.

                    First Visit: September 2016
                    Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
                    Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

                    John 3:16
                    For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
                    John 4:12
                    I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I meant initial blow as in the big conflict of him leaving. And on top of it, i couldn't talk to him for a week.

                      Two weeks have gone by and a little as gotten easier.

                      My toughest issue right now...the fact that I work two jobs and go to school full time, and I devote every spare minute to talking to him.
                      He has yet to start school, and I find it hard to be okay with him just going out whenever and letting me sit here.

                      Right now he took 6 hours out of his day for a Rugby match, when he knows that I am sitting here and he could be talking to me. He doesnt have a phone either, so I won't hear from him at all.

                      Am I being irrational? I just don't find it fair!

                      Comment

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