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Jealousy & Unsupportive Mother

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    Jealousy & Unsupportive Mother

    Hello, so for the past 6 months I've been in a relationship with this really amazing guy that lives in another state. Anyhow he did a lot in order for me to accept him in my life you see I have a history of verbal abuse from my family and am also an ex - bulimic/anorexic and these past 6 months have been the happiest of my life but my mother still doesn't accept the fact that I'm in love with someone that lives in another state she says I don't know him and she also has a problem with his race he's white and I'm hispanic. But he gets me like no other guy ever has and is the love of my life. so what do I do? I feel like she'll never understand until I actually marry him in the near future. Now for my second problem there's this girl that is one of his female friends but I know she likes him so what do I do in order to control my jealousy?

    #2
    not sure how old you are...so my normal advice if you are at least 18..would be...you are an adult...and you can do what you want...and not worry about what others think...so not sure totally on that one...the jealousy...i guess you have to know for sure whether you can trust him or not..if you do...then there shouldn't be any worries...

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      #3
      Hello,
      As far as his race is concerned, if you both are happy, then that should be all that matters. You don't have to explain anything to your mother, just tell her that he is who makes you happy and you would appreciate her support, if she doesn't support you, at least you know that you were mature enough to talk to her in a adult manner about things. As far as his friend, just tell him your concerns, but don't get jealous when telling him, just let him know what your feeling and hopefully he will understand, because I know exactly how you feel. There is always "that one female" in every relationship, the mature thing to do is just ignore her and be the best girlfriend that you can be, because he chose you for a reason, not her. Other than that, if your of age to get a job, I would do that, even something part time to show your mom your being responsible and that way if you and your boyfriend want to visit, you don't have to rely on hand outs from your family. Good luck with everything.

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        #4
        I really didn't know what to say about your first problem, until you mentioned that you're Hispanic and he's white XP. Unfortunately there's not much you can do there except ignore your mom. I come from a Latino family too, so I totally get it @_@. Just let them talk shit and feel satisfied in the fact that you know for a fact not all white people are out to get us xD.

        Now for the second one. Regardless of the fact that he has what could potentially be a much easier relationship, he'd much rather go through all the hardships that come with being with you. Not many people put themselves through that for someone they don't have serious feelings about. As long as she's not actively hitting on him, trying to split you up, and he conducts himself appropriately with her (which I assume he does), you have nothing to worry about this girl. I know it's easier said than done, but it can be done. When those feelings creep up, just remember how happy he is with you :'D.

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          #5
          As a new mom, I kinda understand where your mom is coming from. I'm sure she only wants the best for you. There are still lots of things about relationships that you and your mom will not agree in the future-- but remember this, you only got one Mother. You are not expected to agree with her all the time-- but you can always listen to her opinions. Never ignore her opinions, after all, she's the reason why you're here on earth. Why you are having an amazing relationship with your boyfriend right now. My suggestion is, show your mom that you are trustworthy. Show her that you and your boyfriend can be trusted. If you shows her that both of you can be trusted, I'm sure she'll begin to like and who knows, love your boyfie as her own son.

          As for the different race, don't mind it! Love knows no boundaries. As for you being jealous to his friend, don't. She can like your boyfriend all she wants-- but if your boyfriend loves you for real, even if the girl make advances, he won't mind her at all. Be confident about your bf's love. Long Distance Relationship is already hard-- don't make it even harder by nurturing your paranoia and jealousy.

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            #6
            About your mom being really againt the relationship, i can understand, parents are sometimes overprotective, but of you really love this guy, you d have to seriously not take what your mom says into heart, and be patient and not get what she says get into your head. i assume you are still in school? if so study well and give importance to your studies and not let your mom find fault with what ever you are doing with your life. try your best to balance everything.

            Originally posted by Darth_Taco View Post

            Now for the second one. Regardless of the fact that he has what could potentially be a much easier relationship, he'd much rather go through all the hardships that come with being with you. Not many people put themselves through that for someone they don't have serious feelings about. As long as she's not actively hitting on him, trying to split you up, and he conducts himself appropriately with her (which I assume he does), you have nothing to worry about this girl. I know it's easier said than done, but it can be done. When those feelings creep up, just remember how happy he is with you :'D.
            regarding the second issue, i second what Taco has said^^
            if she is not trying to split you and your bf, and if he behaves like a gentlemen and respects you and does not show unwanted attention to her there is nothing to worry, all you have to remember is no matter how many girls there is wanting his attention, he has chosen you and is with you only for a reason. so be happy and dont worry

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              #7
              I def can relate to the unsupportive mother and different race. I just ignore it for now. She let me know she doesnt support this relationship and i understand her in a way. So i just let her be that way and just do what i think its best for me. I hope that she will eventually support me in my decisions. I dont know why race has to be such a problem lol. But yes in some cultures it can be a huge problem. I believe that love has no color. If he makes you happy then go for him .

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