Jealousy? Sadness? Anger? Whatever this is... How to deal.

[alittlemind]

A little back story... I had planned to visit my boyfriend in early October. I thought this was a great plan, and I was so excited, but then his grandparents (who he lives with now) said that it wouldn't be possible for me to come that week. Which made me sad, naturally, but also kind of bitter, because instead of suggesting another time might be better, they just said "No." Which I guess I really shouldn't be upset over, but being apart is hard enough for me, and then the plans falling through kind of broke my heart and that they didn't want to discuss another week/month, bumped up my stress/anxiety level.

Anyway, Kaleb's little brother had a "wish" granted from one of those make a wish foundations, and his wish was to do this Disneyworld. They are all going in November, and it's another plus for them because the company said they could fly Kaleb out to meet them there too. My problem is that I'm kind of jealous that they get to see him. I'm happy for them, of course, they are his family and they want to see him, and I'm just his girlfriend. I've been missing his hugs a lot lately, they're the only ones that feel right, and I'm jealous that they'll get to have that time with him before I do.

I know I'm not over the fact that my plans didn't work out, and I guess that's natural. But whenever I think about them getting to see him and then me having to wait yet another month, I get sad. It's selfish, so incredibly selfish, I know and I want to know how to just get over this and be thankful that I even get to see him at all in December. I don't want to feel this way anymore. It makes me feel like a horrible person. I'm just so emotional right now and I miss him so much.

How do I get over these feelings, and how do I not miss him so much? I try to keep myself busy, but every time I try, the emotions just creep back in...

Sorry if this is kind of all over the place, my emotional teenage mind is preventing me from thinking properly lately.

[Black_Halloween]

Why did his grandparents say flat out, no? That seems a little odd to me, especially so close to the date you were supposed to see him.

[alittlemind]

Why did his grandparents say flat out, no? That seems a little odd to me, especially so close to the date you were supposed to see him.

I'm not entirely sure about the details. They told Kaleb to tell me that I couldn't come, instead of telling me directly. See, I was planning to fly in late Wednesday night, which I know would've been a pain (but I think we could've figured out another day/time), and then Kaleb would've had school on Thursday, and a game that night too, then he had the Friday off (probably football practice in the morning, and then a game at night), then we had Saturday and Sunday to spend together, and I would've flown out Sunday night or Monday. I was told that their argument was that I would barely get to see Kaleb, and that no one could pick me up from the airport because they were busy Wednesday/Sunday (I could've taken a taxi or something, really, or picked different days, etc.), and they probably didn't trust us being in the same house overnight (I kind of understand this but at some point they have to trust us). I hope they don't do this next summer or if I might want to visit in the spring.