so finally we ended it. i just need to post it somewhere :(

[summerstillhere]

previously i posted a thread about my bf been ignoring me for weeks.
just to gv u all the intro. we've been together since may during his travel trip and then we travelled together. so, after few weeks spending time together we hv to go back to our hometown.
wr known each other for months before we met.

so, after after few weeks keeping it to myself
last night i asked him what is happening. is he ok.

and he said he cant keep the communication like before because he needs to gv us distance.
and we kinda argue about it in our 'email conversations' because thats the only way we can communicate now.

it hurts when i read the part that he said he need someone at home when he's back from work, he need someone to spend his freetime with, he cant be alone anymore. and communications from internet is not helping for him ;(

but he still wanna stay in contact with me. what the hell is that. i dont mind doing this LDR thing but he cant do it anymore ;(

i guess thats the end of it.

just feel like posting it in here since not many people know my relationship. and i dont want them to keep asking.

honestly it hurts. i try to act kool but i cant.
i woke up today then go straight to saloon and cut my hair short. really really short like anne hathaway haircut. i nvr had short hair before.

[SoFarAway]

I am so sorry to hear that. Maybe you guys can work it out, but I don't believe in email communication in that serious kind of issues. Maybe you guys can at least talk on the phone, because I have a feeling that there is more behind the story. ...depending on if you are interested in it.

[TwoThree]

I'm sorry to hear that.

If he is adamant that he doesn't want a long distance relationship and that he is willing to find someone closer to home who will do all those things that you can't, I don't think you should remain in touch with him. It will make it very hard for you to move on.

Best of luck.

[summerstillhere]

I am so sorry to hear that. Maybe you guys can work it out, but I don't believe in email communication in that serious kind of issues. Maybe you guys can at least talk on the phone, because I have a feeling that there is more behind the story. ...depending on if you are interested in it.

its hard for me to get his reply. what more for phone calls. the thing is he always avoid to talk about this. it has been since few weeks ago. i couldnt get him to tell me whats the problem. so last night i ask him directly whats wrong and thats the answer i get.

thanks btw for your reply

[summerstillhere]

I'm sorry to hear that.

If he is adamant that he doesn't want a long distance relationship and that he is willing to find someone closer to home who will do all those things that you can't, I don't think you should remain in touch with him. It will make it very hard for you to move on.

Best of luck.

yea. thats what i told him too. ;(
i cant stay in contact with him when we are alreadu broken. it will break my heart even more ;(

[rina]

I'm very sorry you had to go through this, i've been in your shoes and i know it feels so crappy. My previous LDR lasted 2 and a half years and we met after 1 year and a half of waiting. A few months after he left he started being distant up to a point of not talking to me at all for weeks. I called him and we spent some time on the phone with him telling me all these bogus reasons about being super busy and such, but i believed him (he never lied to me .. or so i thought). He apologized and said he will not do it again and the next day he went back to doing the same thing. So after a few weeks of him being a p$#%& not having the courage to tell me the truth i broke up with him. And he never even bothered replying to my breaking up email, i suppose he was very happy when he got it.

Now this summer, his dad posted picture on his facebook about their amazing summer with him and his french gf who came to visit. And everything clicked into place.. he was playing Aion with his best friend and a french chick while we were together and i thought nothing of it because that girl was friends with his friends.. but i'm pretty sure she's that girl in the pictures. And it absolutely made me mad! I don't care about him anymore, he's like a piece of gum stuck to my shoe, but seeing that girl there .. that was supposed to be my summer vacation. I was actually surprised this bothered me, but i had my SO come visit this summer and it was amazing, finally meeting him after 4 long years!

Anyway i'm not trying to hijack your thread, am just trying to make a point. Hanging on to people who don't deserve you isn't worth it, because you simply get stuck in the past and the memories and you might miss other opportunities that lay ahead. So be strong and move on because he's obviously not worth your attention.

[Oldblighty]

Firstly I am sorry, I just wanted to say that when your bf said "he needs someone at home when he's back from work, he needs someone to spend his freetime with, he cant be alone anymore" that I think this is only a natural reaction when your so desperate for companionship. Not saying he's right with everything else he said, but I know my hubby often says to me that he's desperate to have 'me' at home when he returns from work, that's he doesn't want to be alone anymore. It sounds like your SO is really struggling right now and doesn't know whether he's coming or going. I certainly have moments like that, when I feel like I cannot do this, I'm sure we all do now and again, but if you really love him & I'm sure you do then you have to tell him how his emails are making you feel and that its not fair on you for him to be putting you through this...

[Verojoon]

I think you are doing the best thing to end it. I went through a period of time when I couldn't do the distance and I ended it with SO, but he was still always there for me and he couldn't move on and it wasn't fair on him... We got back together AFTER he finally decided to move on... It is not the reason we got back together (though it was a leading factor because when I was bombarded with HIS emotions, I couldn't consider getting back together because I couldn't be sure if I was doing it for myself or for him...)

If it is meant to be, you two will find each other again, but in a situation like this, I think it is best you back off for now... If you are still thinking about him a month or two later, you could send hima friendly message just to see how he is doing, and see what his reaction is.

*hugs* Relationships are so hard!!

[Romeo s Juliet]

I m so sorry sorry that you have to go through it. i think if he is refusing to give you any kind of closure, he has no right to say he wanna stay in contact with you anymore. cutting contact completely is the fastest way for you to move on with your life
one day you will come across a guy who is ready to wait for you and give you his all. please be strong and concentrate on yourself. dont punish yourself for what he made you go through. you are beautiful, amazing and confident woman always keep in mind that your body mind and soul needs you now love yourself more and it will help you move on

[summerstillhere]

I'm very sorry you had to go through this, i've been in your shoes and i know it feels so crappy. My previous LDR lasted 2 and a half years and we met after 1 year and a half of waiting. A few months after he left he started being distant up to a point of not talking to me at all for weeks. I called him and we spent some time on the phone with him telling me all these bogus reasons about being super busy and such, but i believed him (he never lied to me .. or so i thought). He apologized and said he will not do it again and the next day he went back to doing the same thing. So after a few weeks of him being a p$#%& not having the courage to tell me the truth i broke up with him. And he never even bothered replying to my breaking up email, i suppose he was very happy when he got it.

Now this summer, his dad posted picture on his facebook about their amazing summer with him and his french gf who came to visit. And everything clicked into place.. he was playing Aion with his best friend and a french chick while we were together and i thought nothing of it because that girl was friends with his friends.. but i'm pretty sure she's that girl in the pictures. And it absolutely made me mad! I don't care about him anymore, he's like a piece of gum stuck to my shoe, but seeing that girl there .. that was supposed to be my summer vacation. I was actually surprised this bothered me, but i had my SO come visit this summer and it was amazing, finally meeting him after 4 long years!

Anyway i'm not trying to hijack your thread, am just trying to make a point. Hanging on to people who don't deserve you isn't worth it, because you simply get stuck in the past and the memories and you might miss other opportunities that lay ahead. So be strong and move on because he's obviously not worth your attention.

thank you for your advice. and no you're not hijacking my post. its a lsson to me too.
thanks

[summerstillhere]

Firstly I am sorry, I just wanted to say that when your bf said "he needs someone at home when he's back from work, he needs someone to spend his freetime with, he cant be alone anymore" that I think this is only a natural reaction when your so desperate for companionship. Not saying he's right with everything else he said, but I know my hubby often says to me that he's desperate to have 'me' at home when he returns from work, that's he doesn't want to be alone anymore. It sounds like your SO is really struggling right now and doesn't know whether he's coming or going. I certainly have moments like that, when I feel like I cannot do this, I'm sure we all do now and again, but if you really love him & I'm sure you do then you have to tell him how his emails are making you feel and that its not fair on you for him to be putting you through this...

thank you for your advice. and yes i cant stop thinking about what he said. i feel hopeless. he's been a lot of stress at work and project. and i wasnt there. thats exactly what he needs. someone at home when he's back from work. the whole time, i wasnt there for him. i can only comfort him from far. i can't even touch him.
i cant blame him for giving up.
best is for me to stop getting in touch with him. i hv logged out from my emails, skype, gtalk and everything. but it still hurts. i hope i can just forget this sooner.

btw, thanks a lot for your comment.

[summerstillhere]

I think you are doing the best thing to end it. I went through a period of time when I couldn't do the distance and I ended it with SO, but he was still always there for me and he couldn't move on and it wasn't fair on him... We got back together AFTER he finally decided to move on... It is not the reason we got back together (though it was a leading factor because when I was bombarded with HIS emotions, I couldn't consider getting back together because I couldn't be sure if I was doing it for myself or for him...)

If it is meant to be, you two will find each other again, but in a situation like this, I think it is best you back off for now... If you are still thinking about him a month or two later, you could send hima friendly message just to see how he is doing, and see what his reaction is.

*hugs* Relationships are so hard!!

thanks a lot for your advice.
yes yea relationship is so so hard. i was single for a long time before i met him and i tried not to fall in love with him but i cant avoid love. especially if i know we love each other.

but the distance hurts even more.
i will stop myself from signing in my email, skype, gtalk or whatever way we used to communicate.

i hv planned for a trip next year to europe but i dont know if i wanna let him know.

[summerstillhere]

I m so sorry sorry that you have to go through it. i think if he is refusing to give you any kind of closure, he has no right to say he wanna stay in contact with you anymore. cutting contact completely is the fastest way for you to move on with your life
one day you will come across a guy who is ready to wait for you and give you his all. please be strong and concentrate on yourself. dont punish yourself for what he made you go through. you are beautiful, amazing and confident woman always keep in mind that your body mind and soul needs you now love yourself more and it will help you move on

thanks a lot for your advice. i appreciate it. i will remind myself that.
thank you

[Honour]

Sorry things didn't work out for you. *Hugs*

[summerstillhere]

Sorry things didn't work out for you. *Hugs*

thanks for taking time to comment here.