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    #1

    Over Already?

    I'm was in a long distance relationship with this guy i met in a chat room (ventrillo) relating to a MMORPG game and about a lil over a week ago we broke up because he realized that he didn't see me as a lover and just a really close friend. And also around the time we broke up it became awkward for us, we seemed to have run out of things to say and spent most of our msn call in silence ever since we stopped playing this MMO we are into.

    i don't know if i should try to convince him we can fix this or just give up.

    And also i'm not so sure my parents will accept him as my bf anyway because in their view its dangerous to meet ppl online ( my mom would tell me to be careful not to tell them where i live etc) and my mom is pretty strict and cautious. Not that there's anything bad or suspicious about him though.

    we were together for 2 months, April 27 2010 - June 29, 2010 (known each other since Christmas 2009 and started talking on msn around the first week of January; This is my first LDR.

    What should i do? I still love him very much...

    is there a way to fix this/ make things better?

    please help
    D:
    Last edited by Bonche25; July 7, 2010, 09:22 PM.
    Tags: boyfriend, break up, broke
    #2
    First.. Welcome to LFAD!!
    You still love him and he still loves you... then there is no reason why you should give up. As for the silence, if you go to the LFAD main page there is a list of over 90+ things you are your SO (significant other) can do while you are apart.
    About your parents... gosh, Believe me you aren't the only one. There are many others on here who's parents feel the same way. You know... like everyone online is malicious or out to cause harm but that would be like painting the whole internet black... which well, doesn't really work. I mean really, are we all Bad? or is it just a fear of the unknown?
    Go with your intuition on this
    As for telling your parents about your boyfriend who is far away, feel free to ask here anytime for help and suggestions on approaching this... since you probably don't want to upset your mom.

    Follow your Heart Bonche!

    AA
    "Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle...rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be." ~ Anonymous
    "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul." ~ St. Augustine
    "True love is rare, so when you find it don't let it go just because of a barrier you can't cross". ~ Ray H Wall

    Chris and Megan - November 3rd 2009- (Break from June 15- )July 18th 2011.

    Comment

      #3
      Welcome, Bonche!

      Was that the only reason he gave when it ended? I know it can be a valid excuse because some people realize they aren't attracted in that sort of way to the one they're dating, but sometimes there's always more. Did you guys share any interests outside the MMO like music or hobbies? Having a good bit in common helps stimulate conversation as well as keeping the subjects diverse instead of talking about the same thing over and over until it's like beating a dead horse. If you're willing to put forth the extra effort I say try and mend the relationship but don't try to force it on him since both parties have to be willing to give it a shot.

      And like archangel said, a lot of parents (my mom included) are paranoid about people on the internet. If it comes to the point where you two are together again or you find someone else and want to tell her, offer for her to talk with them in whatever form you two you use whether it's Skype, MSN, Ventrilo, or even IRC since they can't exactly meet in person. It may not change much but at least you would have tried. These things are why this forum exists, so we can pull each other through issues like trying to fix a broken relationship or 'breaking the news' to parents.

      Comment

        #4
        Well another reason i didn't mention (because i wasn't sure if he would want people to know about this) why he wanted to end our LDR is that, because he has been through several LDR in the past, and he has little patience left to handle this type of relationship.

        Comment

          #5
          Then exactly why did he enter another? No offense but that's pretty stupid to know you can't really handle a LDR yet you get in one anyway and get someone else's feelings hurt when, surprise, you were right in finding out that you don't have the patience to wait for someone.

          Comment

            #6
            he didn't know he couldn't handle another LDR til recently actually. He didn't do this on purpose knowing that there's a chance this would happen, and hurt me intentionally. He's not a bad person, really. And how we met and got to the moment where he asked me to be with him is a bit complicated. (i'll tell you guys the details after i get back from my 4 hr class)

            I'm thinking of asking him today if it's ok to give him time (like 3 more weeks or so) of a break from our LDR and then try to get back together after and see if we can mend it. I know we should be doing something to fix it a bit during the break but i'm not sure what to do or just continue on like we usually do.

            we still talk just as much as before it ended though (with msn messaging/msn call), we haven't talked less. Though there are still awkward silences once in a while.

            random unrelated question: how and where do i enter my birth date? I can't seem to add more details about myself until i do and i can't find it anywhere on my profile settings page =/
            Last edited by Bonche25; July 8, 2010, 10:10 AM.

            Comment

              #7
              i think its a good idea to give him time... but he said he sees you as a friend so dont get your hopes up.

              i understand about your parents. mine are the same... have you seen him on webcam and stuff? cos you should show them to solve that problem

              you have only been together two months... me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months and we still find stuff to talk into the night about.. so either you dont know what to say to eachother or you are just not well suited.

              i suggest talking/flirting more as friends... to see if there is a spark there.

              and also how far away are you? perhaps organizing to meet will make it easier on both of you giving you something to focus on outside gaming and computing. (i presume you havent met in person?)

              good luck with everything!

              Comment

                #8
                well thing is outside of going to college for classes me and him don't have a life outside of that. We both usually just sit in front of the computer all day doing whatever and have msn call on at all times. I suggested to him that we should talk less (we spend like 8 hrs+ talking) but he doesn't want to talk less xP Also he doesn't want to lose me so when we ended it we agreed we would still talk like normal. Oh and yes we have webcam'd before, we know what each other looks like.

                we are about 2,500 miles away; i live in Ontario, he lives in California. No i havn't met him in person yet and yes we have planned to meet each other next summer (he's gonna come to me) for a week when we were together. He's still gonna come see me, but as a friend (for now at least).
                oh and we're both 20 years old.
                Last edited by Bonche25; July 8, 2010, 03:11 PM.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Its not really about how long you talk to him but what you do with the time that is given to you, but i see your point, i think you would have more to talk about if you had time to do ur own thing though, it does help

                  Comment

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