Any mature members whose first meet went sour?

[pretty ll vacant]

My first visit was a lot like Verojoon's, it felt like we had known each other for our whole lives! I have never felt so close and comfortable with a "stranger" in all of my life. People's opinions differ, but I think the more time you spend getting to know the person before meeting the better, because time allows you to really get to know someone. Anyone can put up a front online, but even online after time it gets harder and harder to fake it and true colors will eventually start showing. I'm glad I took my time with my BF because he wasn't the first guy I met online, but my first meeting with him was the best experience. I'm glad I didn't let my other bad experiences deter me from getting to know my bf.

[EnglishMan]

Englishman, you bring up some valid points, for sure, thank you!

I wish we could Skype. It'd be a great way to see mannerisms, etc. I have an idea on how to set it up but he is completely clueless when it comes to anything tech. Even if I explained it all step-by-step, he wouldn't "get it". Four degrees in Architecture, Animal Science, Art, and English but cannot grasp technology. Hahahaha!!

Haha , all he's gotta do is download it from the official site, fill in log-in details, have a mic/webcam and bingo! There ya are . It's really easy to use as far as techy stuff goes (I can use it which says a lot!)

[Verojoon]

Haha , all he's gotta do is download it from the official site, fill in log-in details, have a mic/webcam and bingo! There ya are . It's really easy to use as far as techy stuff goes (I can use it which says a lot!)

Seriously! My grand-mother uses Skype!! She only knows how to use email and Skype! You met him on a photo website of some sort, right? I think he has one up on my grand-mother technology-wise! You should give it a try!

[Benni]

My first visit was a lot like Verojoon's, it felt like we had known each other for our whole lives! I have never felt so close and comfortable with a "stranger" in all of my life. People's opinions differ, but I think the more time you spend getting to know the person before meeting the better,

Yeh, we've known each other since February and our relationship really got up-close and personal the first of August, so I do feel as if I know him pretty well.

Haha , all he's gotta do is download it from the official site, fill in log-in details, have a mic/webcam and bingo! There ya are

Neither of us have a mic or a webcam.

You met him on a photo website of some sort, right? I think he has one up on my grand-mother technology-wise!

Ha!! He can't even get that right! I have to use his password to get into his page and fix his code all the time!!

[cymlee]

Yeh, we've known each other since February and our relationship really got up-close and personal the first of August, so I do feel as if I know him pretty well.



Neither of us have a mic or a webcam.

Maybe you both can invest in a webcam that attaches via usb. They're relatively inexpensive ($15-20 if you aren't too picky about quality).

My first meet went really well. My SO and I were both nervous in the days and hours leading up to it, but we had been talking and getting to know each other for almost 2 years before meeting in person, so we knew each other pretty well. While he wasn't always able to video chat, the times he was were great, because I got to see him outside of picture/video messages. Being able to video chat with him put me more at ease and also gave me the chance to learn some of his mannerisms.

[EnglishMan]

Seriously! My grand-mother uses Skype!! She only knows how to use email and Skype! You met him on a photo website of some sort, right? I think he has one up on my grand-mother technology-wise! You should give it a try!

haha easy as anything! Only gotta click about 5 buttons

Neither of us have a mic or a webcam.

You can get them relatively cheap, and pretty much all webcams have a mic in-built so you wouldn't need to buy one separately. Most laptops/computers have a webcam in-built too, or at the very least a mic. Could get one real cheaply, and then order a 2nd one for him if he cant manage it

[Verojoon]

You can get them relatively cheap, and pretty much all webcams have a mic in-built so you wouldn't need to buy one separately. Most laptops/computers have a webcam in-built too, or at the very least a mic. Could get one real cheaply, and then order a 2nd one for him if he cant manage it

I bought my SO a webcam as a random gift once because I was sick of how bad the image was on his old one!! He bought me a headset when he decided he hated how bad my laptop's built in mic was!! Fun little presents!!

(It seems like EnglishMan and I are huge Skype advocates!! hehhe... but I am only bringing it up like this because you expressed some concern about how meeting in person would go, and this is such a good step to take first in order to know what to expect! You cana lso do video messaging on MSN or Yahoo, if that would feel easier for you!!)

[EnglishMan]

I bought my SO a webcam as a random gift once because I was sick of how bad the image was on his old one!! He bought me a headset when he decided he hated how bad my laptop's built in mic was!! Fun little presents!!

(It seems like EnglishMan and I are huge Skype advocates!! hehhe... but I am only bringing it up like this because you expressed some concern about how meeting in person would go, and this is such a good step to take first in order to know what to expect! You cana lso do video messaging on MSN or Yahoo, if that would feel easier for you!!)

Haha , I hear ya on the built-in mic thing, the mic on my laptop echoes REALLY weirdly... it's like im trying to talk with my hand over my mouth haha. Fortunately I had an old one that works well and my SO's computer came with some ridiculously good webcam package, so we were pretty set. And definitely a big Skype advocate here!

Also another idea would be Oovoo. Moreorless the same thing as Skype, and I know some people prefer it. I think google has something for webcam chat too

[Benni]

What do you need for video messaging with Yahoo? He has his students do his computer stuff for him -- hopeless, I tell ya!

[Verojoon]

What do you need for video messaging with Yahoo? He has his students do his computer stuff for him -- hopeless, I tell ya!

other than a webcam? nothing. He'd just have to download yahoo messenger, and you could call him through that. I'll be right back with a screenshot!

[Verojoon]

[Benni]

Thanks for the info!! I'll check into webcams and see what I can find for cheap. Maybe I can walk him through everything over the phone!!

[JennMarcus612]

I was reallly super nervous before meeting my SO. I dropped close to 30 lbs and even then I wasn't comfortable with myself. Then we had a serious heart to heart and he said everything I needed to hear. He also posted some on his blog saying "We are both going to Jamaica soon and she wants to shed some weight before we go. Hell this will also be our first meeting and I could care less if she shed an ounce I truly love her the way she is. My hope is that I can at some point convince her this is how I am and my eyes sees what’s all encompassing not just what’s on the surface." So it took a lot from my SO for me to be strong.

Our first meeting is AMAZING!!!! He smiled and hugged me and wouldn't stop holding my hand. He took me out to dinner and then headed to his home and made out forever and then i showered off and then we made incredible love that resulted in jump starting my period so my whole vacation in Jamaica was having this period (lame) but he was a gentleman and got me tampons and everything.

Point is that our relationship was exactly what it was on the phone. We felt so natural, we felt so complete with each other. Really if your loved one adores you like he does, there really is NOTHING to be afraid of and SO MUCH to look forward to.

[Benni]

Ohhhh, thank you, JennMarcus! He sounds like a wonderful man -- you are a lucky woman, for sure! Sucks about the period, though! Thank goodness I don't have to worry about those anymore at my age!

[Tooki]

My missus and I had a few fights, especially on the 2nd trip.

But we are both stubborn, and I'm an ass at times.