He said he needed space so I gave him what he want

[summerstillhere]

Me and 'ex' has ended our LDR. He said he cant stand the distance and he's getting sick of it. And he needed space so he can try to create a distance between us and he want to be as friends but he want to stay in touch as 'friends'. it hurts a lot when he said he's sick of the distance and he want to be 'friends'. So, I give him space just like what he want. I stop contacting him for few days and i ignored him. i log out of my email, skype, and i stop sending him text msgs.
last weekend he send me emails telling me that he's on a trip with his parents. i didnt reply his emails and then he send me txt messages. he said the coverage is quite bad at the area. (i didnt contact him for few days after the email) but why he suddenly want to contact me when the coverage is bad.

what is he trying to do? he hurt me. he said he need distance so i gv him what he need. and when i ignored him he send me txt msgs, emails.
im confuse.

[temporaryuser]

you never know what you have until its gone. he may not have realized that what he wanted and what he said were two different things. In his eyes, he still wants the contact, without the attachment. So then you need to decide what you want. IMO, you cant be "friends" with someone you had a serious relationship with, right after ending it. There are too many raw emotions.

[summerstillhere]

you never know what you have until its gone. he may not have realized that what he wanted and what he said were two different things. In his eyes, he still wants the contact, without the attachment. So then you need to decide what you want. IMO, you cant be "friends" with someone you had a serious relationship with, right after ending it. There are too many raw emotions.

thanks for your comment.
yes it is very very hard for me to see him as just friends. i cant act like im happy or like nothing had happened between us.
i am mad at him but at the same i still love him. i dont know how to reply to his emails and text msgs as a 'friend'.

i dont know what he's thinking

[SoFarAway]

I have to agree. Since the contact broke off, he realized that something is missing in his life. You need to be consequent and follow your heart. Since he is not into the relationship any more he can't expect you to contact him all the time. If you want to be friends with him, and as the sound of it you don't, then he needs to give you time. I also just don't buy the whole sick of being away. I mean, LDRs are not for everyone, but I saw many break ups where cowardly excuses were used for the real reasons. If you need to talk it out with him, maybe you contact him a very last time.

But the most important thing, DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD

[LeilaniJoi]

There is an old saying that says " run away from a man until you catch him"

I agree that distance is the best way to get their attention. I'd be completely honest with him... tell him what you told us and don't be surprised if he changes his tune. don't expect it, but don't be surprised either. Good luck!

[Romeo s Juliet]

I think you should do what you feel good. just like SoFarAway said. seems like you don't want to/ like to keep contact with him just as friends, because the hurt is still there. he wants to be friends because he wants contact with you without the commitment part. i think you should take care of yourself and not let him hurt you again,and take time for yourself, to get over the hurt, and feel better, and then think how you want to handle this situation
good luck

[summerstillhere]

I have to agree. Since the contact broke off, he realized that something is missing in his life. You need to be consequent and follow your heart. Since he is not into the relationship any more he can't expect you to contact him all the time. If you want to be friends with him, and as the sound of it you don't, then he needs to give you time. I also just don't buy the whole sick of being away. I mean, LDRs are not for everyone, but I saw many break ups where cowardly excuses were used for the real reasons. If you need to talk it out with him, maybe you contact him a very last time.

But the most important thing, DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD

thanks for your comment.
we already talk about it, about why he want distance and why he want to be friends.
1 of the reason is he doesnt want any of us to get hurt if we find someone else. and he said we only hv the chance to meet during vacation and after that we will be back in LD. And he doesnt want that.

luckily my sis just gave birth and i spend a lot of time with the baby just making myself busy and less time to think about him. but yes of course sometimes i cant avoid being sad because i still love him.

[summerstillhere]

There is an old saying that says " run away from a man until you catch him"

I agree that distance is the best way to get their attention. I'd be completely honest with him... tell him what you told us and don't be surprised if he changes his tune. don't expect it, but don't be surprised either. Good luck!

yea i will ask him until im done ignoring him.
but i dont know when i can stop ignoring him cuz his email really really hurt and i keep thinking about what he said in the email.

[summerstillhere]

I think you should do what you feel good. just like SoFarAway said. seems like you don't want to/ like to keep contact with him just as friends, because the hurt is still there. he wants to be friends because he wants contact with you without the commitment part. i think you should take care of yourself and not let him hurt you again,and take time for yourself, to get over the hurt, and feel better, and then think how you want to handle this situation
good luck

thank you for your comment. yup i will make myself busy and feel better

[Black_Halloween]

I think the best thing is to just let him go. The whole "What if we find somebody else" thing is a cop out excuse because he doesn't want to be with you but he doesn't want to tell you directly in fear of hurting your feelings but what he's really doing is giving you false hope.

[SoFarAway]

thanks for your comment.
we already talk about it, about why he want distance and why he want to be friends.
1 of the reason is he doesnt want any of us to get hurt if we find someone else. and he said we only hv the chance to meet during vacation and after that we will be back in LD. And he doesnt want that.

luckily my sis just gave birth and i spend a lot of time with the baby just making myself busy and less time to think about him. but yes of course sometimes i cant avoid being sad because i still love him.

Oh that's wonderful. I just became a second time uncle and it is the best thing in the world!!! Nice distraction.

[summerstillhere]

yes it is the best distraction. and who can say no to play with the cute baby