Getting through the extra distance...

[LilyPanda]

So, as some of you know, Nolan has been working at a camp this summer, and has only been able to get phone service when he stays in a hotel with his parents (mostly only Saturdays/early Sunday morning). Which puts even more distance between us, seeing as we used to talk EVERY day since last September. This is going to continue for the rest of the summer, sometimes going a couple weeks without talking, due to my camping trips as well.

This might be a stupid question, since I know a lot of you DO have to go weeks without talking to your SO. But I was just curious, for those of you who go/have gone larger amounts of time NOT talking to your SO, how do you deal with it? I know the whole "keep yourself busy" thing, but what else can you do? There are days when I just break down because I'm either... having a really bad day and I just want to talk to him because he makes me feel better, or I just plain out miss the boy to death. I thought maybe I could get some ideas from others on the site, so tell me your stories, and what you do/did to get through!



Ps. I realize that this stuff is not fun, and it is a lot harder than I had imagined. It's hard enough being apart for so long, and it's even harder when you don't have the chance to talk to them. Those of you who have gone weeks, even months without communicating with your SO... you guys are seriously amazing for being able to do so. After going a week or even two weeks without talking to my boy, I realize how hard it really is.
And, sorry if this is so long. heh

[Swederica]

Hey Alisha!

I won't do any good in posting here really.
But i can't even begin to understand how hard it must be.
I had a really hard time getting through a week without Katelyn earlier, even if we had contact in mails and atleast one phone call.
So you are really strong Alisha

Try to think that he will always get back, he will always be there later and he's not gone forever.
I know it's hard and i find it's much easier to tell other people how they should do then actually doing it myself.

All my best wishes to you!

[kasia516]

we have been lucky, the longest we didnt talk was 3 days. but whenever he's busy and i miss him, during exam time and such, i always sit down and write him letters and make lots of elaborate cards for him. i like drawing, painting, and scrapbooking, so i like to make him cards all the time. i send letters every month with like 2 cards and 2 letters and some fun stuff. so i do keep busy, but i keep busy by doing things for him. when i write letters it reminds me how much i love him, and it always makes me feel better. i love getting letters, but now no one sends them anymore, and i know when my bf and i arent long distance we wont send them, so i like taking advantage of the situation now and sending lots.
also we just spent 3 weeks together, and i left him 3 days ago. its been really hard coping with the separation, but im going to start a scrapbook of our 3 weeks together to keep me busy and happy.
if you havent met yet and dont have pics, then you can still send letters. i think he would really enjoy getting them while at camp. there are so many fun things you can do with letters too. the biggest envelops you can send in canada are like 5 x 9 inches, so i always make huge envelops and stuff them with newspaper articles i think he might like, pictures, things i drew for him, and cards and letters.
good luck!! i would hate to be in your situation right now, but i always think that if my bf and i can make it thru this, we can make it thru anything

[ErinKristine]

I write letters that read more like diary entries so then I remember what I want to tell him when we do get a chance to talk. Does he receive mail at camp? You can send him letters, if he doesn't have much space then try not to go overboard sending other things. Do you have anything of his? I have a pair of boots that belonged to my SO as well as a set of ACUs hanging in my closet (they're going to get turned into a bag), a bear he gave me, etc all those things help me feel closer to him and things like the boots and uniform make it feel like he's still here. I also have voicemails and videos from him that I watch and listen to when I just want to hear his voice and see his face.

I also just work through the days/weeks we don't get to talk, it's hard to ignore the feeling of missing him and wanting to hear his voice, but I try to just push it all aside and concentrate on other things.

[Skya]

we, althrough, do not have such a long time between talking, sometimes just record some sweet nonsense with windows built in recording device and headsets mic. works pretty fine and is nice thing to listen to get a strenght to get through rough times

[NaNi]

I always look at photos or videos or read my SO's letters. Or I write her emails which she can read whenever she gets a chance to. It might also help to talk to a friend.

[LilyPanda]

ErinKristine: No, I don't believe he gets mail at camp. But, I have sent him some stuff to his house, and his parents take it to him on the weekend. So, I try to send stuff when I can, and then let his parents know so they can take it with them when they visit.

Thank you all for the advice. There is a lot of good stuff here that I can use I actually talked to him yesterday, and he left me a voicemail saying "I love you Lily Bear" so I can listen to it whenever I want I love it!! I just got back from camping, and I actually talked to my best friend about my relationship a lot. She thinks it's awesome, and says her and her boyfriend go to Virginia with me sometime. We were actually thinking spring break... go to Virginia Beach and whatnot. She's actually really supportive and everything, which I wasn't expecting, so it's pretty awesome

So, all-in-all, I've been doing pretty good. Got to talk to my boy, and you guys have given me a lot of great advice. So thank you everyone!! I really appreciate it

[Shameka]

Hi I can understand what you are saying.

The latest my man and I have gone without speaking is 7 days. Working 12 hours 7 days a week keeps me busy. After work I exercise, watch a movie or read, and get ready for the next day. I also take online classes. Being on a military installation overseas in a combat zone leaves little to do most times. When there is an event going on I don't usually attend because I am usually content doing my own thing in my own room or I am tired.

For the holidays I've had this unusual amount of "missing my man" syndrome. I told him about how I have been feeling and I would love it if we talked more. He told me that if I felt lonely or anytime to call. Since that conversation we have talked about 3 times this week.

I have a problem with the couple of times when it has been about 5 days before we have communicated with email or on a phone call on skype or my office from him.
If I call him and can't get him on his cell phone right then I feel really sad and it is hard to stay busy without thinking what is he doing. I would even have to force myself to go to sleep. Once that happened he skipped a day before he called me back and I was trying desparately to hold back my tears in. I haven't told him how I really felt about that, yet. I probably should mention that the next time it happens. When we finally communicate after I have gone through that ordeal I find out that he has been trying to contact me and gets frustrated playing phone tag. To eliminate all of that heartache I've decided to try a different mode of getting in touch with him if I don't hear from him and not to think negatively.