Does it get harder after you meet?

[AvaLouise]

if there's a thread about this already I'm sorry! D:

So, I'm meeting my SO for the first time in about 2 months. We both have expressed our fear that after we meet and then he flies back home, it's going to be eight thousand times harder than it already is. I'm honestly really scared of this because I already get stressed out by the fact that he's so far.

The first time you met your SO, did the time fly by way too fast? Was it a lot harder to deal with the distance once they were gone?

[Verojoon]

yes! So much harder... But the good news is that after a while you get back into the old groove...

[SoFarAway]

I haven't met my SO online and then set up a first meet. But we were friends for a very long time before and actually lived with her as a roommate. The vacation we spent together and we kissed for the first time and finally admitted our feelings for each other, it tore me apart after she had to leave. And that feeling comes back every time we get off Skype. Like right now... Exactly ten minutes ago, I got off of Skype after a nice two hour video chat. And due to our crazy schedules that doesn't happen very often. Right now I am curled up in bed and reminisce the moments we just shared and try to forget about the fact that I won't be able to Skype with her till Wednesday!

So, long story short: no, it doesn't get better. For me at least.
For you? Well, it always depends how your first meeting goes

[kittyo9]

We met online and dated for about 2 years before meeting. We spent 3 1/2 weeks together, and it was amazing. It didn't feel like the time went by quickly-- actually, it felt quite slow, which I was very grateful for. It felt like we were together for a lot longer than we had been.

Coming back was very difficult, though. There's no easy way to get around feeling like something is missing all the time. For the first three or so weeks, I had no motivation to do anything. It wasn't so stressful as I was just sad all the time, and my boyfriend understood completely. We're doing a little better now, but I still miss him often and sometimes cry about it because I don't know when I'll see him again. I think if I knew when we would be together again (and it were within a year), it wouldn't feel quite so hard. However, we both also know now that we really, really want to be together, and it has allowed us to start talking seriously about closing the distance entirely, and possibly getting married in the not-so-distant future.

So, in summary, it is and it isn't harder. It's a relief because you know that you are or are not going to get along with your partner face-to-face, but it's a little more difficult because now you're sure about this person but they still live far away.

[ST25]

I would have to say that yes, it does get harder once you meet each other. However, it just makes the heart grow much more fond and gives you leeway on anticipating the next visit. =)

[Sora1101]

I think it is harder but also sooooooooo worth it. The first time I met my SO is still to this day one of the best days of my life. It'll be hardest right after you guys separate again but if you keep busy and talk to each other often you'll fall back into your old routine and then you can look forward to seeing him again soon. But my advice would be not to dwell on the future once you guys are together focus on being with him and enjoying yourself and then deal with the heartache afterward. You wouldn't want to spoil your first visit being depressed now would you?

Although the last two visits I've had with my SO I cried my eyes out on our last days together. I think it gets harder to hold it because visit one I didn't cry until he left, the second visit I didn't cry until we were in the car headed toward the airport, and the last visit I cried the day before I left and the morning of.

[XxFranticLovexX]

Yes it gets harder and yes the time together seems to go by way too fast.
Before meeting they aren't really tangible. You don't know what they are like in person, you don't know what it feels like to touch them, you don't know their scent (it sounds weird, but smells are a big factor in some memories), and you don't know what it's like to physically just be around them. Once you experience that it gives you more things to miss about them than just their face/voice and it gives you more things to remember when thinking about them. It does make it harder to be without them, but at the same time it makes the relationship seem that much more real. Before you had an image and a voice, after you have a real person.
Some nights I just want to be able to hug him or cuddle up together and sleep, but I know that I can't right now because he is too far away. Though, even with all of that, I know that I will see him again, that I will be able to do those things again, I still get to talk to him now, and he is there waiting out the same thing for me.

Once you have been back to your normal routine long enough everything starts to fall back into place, but it can take a while and it is never really completely the same. You will always have that memory of being together and you will always have that excitement for when you can be together again. It is hard but it is very much worth it because you know that one day you will be with them and neither of you will have to leave again. (=

[Amelia]

yes initially it gets harder because i guess you realise how much your missing out by not being with them in person, but eventually you get used to having to say bye and it wont hurt as much. I find that as soon as i get home its better just to go straight back into normal routine try not to think too much about that fact that you just left someone you love and probably wont see them for a while.

[Brieasaurus]

It definitely does get harder simply because you get so used to being together (even if for just a few days) that when they're gone, their presence is drastically more missed. Especially first time meeting since you never have been together. Like the others said though, you do get back into the groove after a while and things settle down. Just take lots of pictures, make a few youtube videos, so that when you feel lonely afterwards, you can watch your memories. Each time after that is either easier/harder depending on the person. Some think it's not as much as an initial shock/it's routine and others think it sucks because you become that much closer and are like "we could be closer the distance".

[cymlee]

The first time I met my significant other in person was last August. I stayed with him and his family for a week and it felt like it was way longer, because we clicked so well. It was hard living him that first time because it was the first time we had been able to do a lot of things: hold hands, cuddle, kiss, etc. I'm pretty sure we both cried a little (not in front of each other though), but what made it a little better is that he had already planned to see me for my birthday the next month and I made plans to visit him the month after that. So, yes, it is harder once you meet you significant other in person, but eventually you get used to a routine once you have to part. Having a set date for when another visit will happen or planning it together after you both go back home definitely helps though.

[D.4C]

i think it's a little different for me and my girlfriend...cuz we are closing the distance rather quickly i guess...like 3 1/2 months...so it isn't all that long to wait...not saying it will be easy...she was just here....and i wouldn't have missed this time for the world...it was hard to see her fly away...but i know we have such a great relationship...and do alot of texting...and phone calls...and skype calls....that we are there for each other so much...plus we will have to start making plans and all that for the move...so...that will help some too....i do miss her terribly...but before too long...she will be here...back at home...with me

[SonyaKitty]

Well I wouldn't know for sure. But I'm pretty sure it will kill me ,it's just *just met for the first time* happy *spent a couple days together* 'I love you ' *she has to go* 'do you have to? :'('
i know one thing for sure, when we meet it will only be a 5 hour date and I will cry a new river when I have to go

[lademoiselle]

For me it grew progressively harder. The first few times we said goodbye I felt sad but that was all - no tears! By the time we'd been together for a year or so though, parting became much more difficult. However, I've become a lot better at thinking rationally, reminding myself that we'll see each other again soon and trying to make it happen, so that takes the edge off the pain. You just have to keep moving forward really

[Alle1770]

For us, it's gotten a lot harder as time has passed. After the first time we met, I seriously thought I'd break apart on the inside every day I woke up and realized it was still so long until we were together again. But, you get into the "normal" routine pretty quickly, and it doesn't feel as horrible after a week or two. Now that we've seen each other about 5 times, it's easier to say goodbye because we know we'll see each other again, and it's easier to get into the "groove" of talking on Skype and stuff. So it does get a lot harder, but also a lot easier in some senses