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Should I be mad or worry?!?!?!?!

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    Should I be mad or worry?!?!?!?!

    Recently me and this girl have picked back up things. I'm a freshman in college and she's a sophmore in high school. I text her every minute I get a chance. I say good morning to her and then tell her goodnight and sweetdreams. Recently in the past month or so shes texting me alot less like three or four times a day most of the time. Some days its regular but alot of days she dosent communicate with me much. She told me at one pont that she is busy and has a life and I need to realize that. I'm busy with school and chruch and make time for her so i think she should make time for me. She says she busy all day with band, school, and horse stuff on the weekends. and four h sometimes. And there moving right now from there old house to her new house. I just feel like if she really cared and she really loved me and wanted to talk she would text me more. She says she loves me and cant see anyone else in her life than me, I just feel like she should be backing up her action. I dont really know. Here's hows her life has gone by the way.. she was born in to teen parents that put her up for adoption. Her adopted parents divorced when she was older, and she was rapped at like 13 or 14. I just idk i really want her to talk to me more and i just wanna feel loved by her more. she used to skype me more than she did and she says that bc school keeps her busy. I just really need help i want yalls insight. Anyway please be respectful and ik her and my age is a difference but weve talked about that with my parent and shes told her mom. Ohh and im suppose to meet her mom on skypee and she keeps saying idk maybe every night and not doing it! Anyway should i be mad or sad or what over this whole situation? Give me advice or whatever please that will help. Thanks
    Brandon

    #2
    I'm sorry to hear you are having a tough time.
    I would expect her to be busy and maybe a bit overwhelmed being away at school, so maybe that is the reason she is acting the way she is.
    Or maybe she is just not sure whether she wants this relationship.
    I would suggest maybe reassuring her that you love her, and then backing off from the relationship, maybe wait to hear from her, to see what effort she is willing to put into the relationship, rather than you always communicating with her first. Give it some time for her to know her mind and prove if she wants this relationship or not.

    Best of luck!

    Comment


      #3
      I think it would be best if you reassure her you love her, and tell her you would like to speak with her more, and ask her what time(s) she would be free to talk with you. Try not pressuring her too much.. since she's still in high school, she probably is new to relationships too and with the stress of high school and a relationship, I'm sure it would be hard to find a balance (I never had a boyfriend in high school so I can't say this from experience, just basically from watching around me). She might be unsure of her feelings towards you as well. Don't take that in a bad way though.. she's young.. give it time.. try not to worry.. if you love her, just say it and show it and keep consistent and help her to become more comfortable with it. She doesn't seem to have good rolemodels for stability or commitment as you mentioned with her parents situation.. so she might be scared. I don't know.. I just like to see the best in people and things.. I hope everything works out! Try not to worry..

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        #4
        Sounds a little like my boyfriend. I'll often send him a message in the morning, and although he used to reply, he doesn't anymore. He's just busy. I think that's something you really need to understand. I've also thought that, hey, he can take 30 seconds to send me something back, but I'm learning to accept it. My boyfriend just isn't much of a talker by text, and although it's hard to get used to, pushing him to do something he doesn't want to will just make things worse. You need to pick your battles. Just understand that she is busy and as the others said, make sure she knows you love her, but without overwhelming her. Maybe you sending her messages so often is scaring her a little bit, she is a few years younger than you. Just be careful and accept that some days she'll be busier than others. Best wishes!
        Last edited by alittlemind; October 7, 2012, 10:28 PM.
        started dating: 12/08/12
        "i love you": 04/12/13
        el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
        montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
        el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
        montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
        el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
        el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
        el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
        san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
        san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16

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          #5
          It really sounds like you just need to back off honestly. Some people don't want to be attached to their phones texting all day, and personally I think that's healthy. She's told you, numerous times by the sounds of it, that she's busy. Which probably means she's busy. Not that she doesn't care about you. Just that she's busy. And maybe in the moments she isn't busy she just wants to take a few deep breaths and relax rather than feel like she HAS to text you. The last thing you need is to make contacting you feel like a chore.
          I sense that she possibly feels a little smothered in this situation, and that if you give her some space, she will come to you. It's like that saying "How can I miss you if you don't go away?" Give her the chance to miss you.
          Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

          Comment


            #6
            i pretty much agree with zephii...if she has reassured you that she wants to be with only you...i wouldn't worry about that part of it...and she prolly is really busy with school and all the extracurricular stuff...i know my niece has just finished high school and my other niece is a senior...and they are busy all the time...plus work...and sports and all that....i know it's a bummer when you want more contact...and it isn't really possible...trust me...i have those times too....you just have to do the best you can...use the time you do have wisely...and it will be ok....good luck

            Comment


              #7
              she is young, she has things to do and she doesnt want to be tied to her phone, or computer, o whatever. i commend her. So many this age these days are so connected to these devices that the do not engage in any other aspects of life and do "live".
              if you cannot accept this lifestyle, then you need to move on.
              everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

              Comment


                #8
                Give her some space and time.
                If she says she loves you and she is still there with you, trust her.

                I recently had a new job and I am not allowed to have my cell phone with me.
                My bf used to text me every mornings and I used to reply right away.
                But now, when he texts me, I'm already in class and I cannot reply to him until my lunch break (IF i have a lunch break..)

                It doesn't mean I don't love him, I'm just very busy.
                I answer him when I can.

                So, don't be too rough on her.
                Be patient : )
                ♡ ~~~~ 'When you find something worth fighting for, you never give up' ~~~~ ♡

                Comment


                  #9
                  My brother had a similar experience this summer, and I'm going to tell you what I told him. If a girl wants to be with you, as in, wants to be in a relationship with you, she will make it happen. People who want to be together work at it, put in the time and effort, and for long distance, that means making the effort to spend whatever time you can find to spend together.
                  I understand that she's busy, so arrange a time to talk to her. Ask her when she's free, and if you can move stuff around so it suits her better, try it. I agree with the above posters that if she's saying she wants to be with you, trust her. But do talk to her if you feel like you would like more time together (if it's possible).
                  I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's great that she is busy and has her own life, but you may need more out of a relationship than she can give you at the moment.

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