from happiness to broken heart

[prinzeza87]

a few hours ago my now ex bf finally contacted me after 3 days...

the conversation was different, we asked how we r, he said he had been thinking of me and he told me all about his long trip n how he feels being home after 2 yrs etc...
then he said he needed to tell me something that he knew it was gonna hurt me, oh god i thought here we go, he said he thinks we should go separate ways already, that he thought a lot about it n that he realized he wasn't happy anymore, that this new marine girl he met a few months ago (which he mention to me when he met her, she had just arrived in japan to his unit) opened his eyes he told me he does not want to be with her at all n that she's not the reason he dnt want to be w me anymore, and that even if he had to stay in Japan for two more years this would of happen believe it or not anyways.

he mentioned how sorry he was for hurting me that he knew i didnt deserved this but that he didnt wanted to hurt me any more. that i was very close to be the one he wanted to spent the rest of his life with n that i could call/text him any time or even if i need it anything blah blah...
that he was faithful all the time we were together n that maybe who knows one day he might come up and ask me if im seeing anyone n we could try it again because he really really loved me, i said so u dont love me anymore, he's like mirna i dnt wanna say because then it will make it harder for u to move on (so ig he still loves me)
after a lot of whys, justifications, crying etc.. i said u know what its fine u want happiness go get happy, u want liberty go b free u have it now, u dnt even deserve my tears, he said it was gonna b hard on him too but that it was the best for both of us blah blah
out of no where i said let me just say bye to ur mom (cos she really liked me) u sure u wanna do it right now n when he was gonna give her the phone i hung up, i did it because if not it was gonna b harder to me to say bye , i might call her nxt week when he leaves to CA to his next unit n tell her sorry for hanging up on her n say goodbye.

right away he txtd me one of the thing he said was once again to call him or text me if i ever need it something ...

everybody i've cry n cry so much these hours, i feel so bad, hurt, miserable etc etc it feels so unreal that about a week ago he was still the sweet lovely bf to me n i was happy now im all heart broken... things happens for a reason n i know i know that with time ill get better n move on n maybe find some one but going trough this process is soooo painful it might take me weeks, months even years to completely recover but one day his memory wnt hurt any more... by the way his sister just send me a long nice comforting txt that made me feel sort of good to know that even his fam without knowing me in person liked me n appreciated me.

what do yall think of his reasons? would it be that he might have had something w this girl already? any experiences what ever yall want to say, oh god :"(

[D.4C]

i guess it is possible that he could have had something with that other girl...he did say she opened his eyes...not sure exactly what he meant by that...but...maybe he just wasn't feeling what he thought he should in order to have a long term relationship....and didn't want to string you along...and truly had your best interest at heart...i know that doesn't make things a whole lot better really...but better now than when you have years invested into it...and he ended it then...i know how it can be...i was in a year long relationship with a girl...after my divorce...and one day...she just texted me...even though we were in my house together...and broke things off...i was devastated...she moved back to florida...i live in wisconsin...and i thought i would never love again...that i couldn't trust anyone anymore...and just take care of myself for a change...and along came my now girlfriend...and she has made me realize that i could love again...and put myself in her hands....and i wasn't even looking....she has been a friend of mine for more than 6 years...and just the past 3 months....we have been a legitimate couple...and things are great and better than i ever thought i would find again...and we are closing the distance come january...so it may take you some time....but you will find someone...maybe when you least expect it....maybe he did you a favor...who knows....it will just take time...i wish you luck...

[dglynn77]

I don't have advice
I just wanted to say *hugs* and I'm sorry you are hurting
Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk!

[Schlafmütze]

At the moment, I also don't have advice. However, I wanted to take the time to send you a virtual hug: -8-.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Breakouts are always hard, no matter what. But hey, good news: Soon this will be just a memory, experience, another lesson learned, etc... now, it's really up to you how soon or fast you move on.

[m&k]

Well, is weird how our stories are similar. I can tell you, love was not enough for me too. I couldn't take anymore and we had a real broke up on Friday.
It's a long story, but I will try to keep it short: We were close distance, but my visa expired and I came home to stay 6 months and go back to his arms in January.
I came home with a ring and the promise that nothing would make him brake up with me. I was so happy, I told everybody about my engagement.
We made plans for honeymoon, we gave names for our future kids ! Everything was a dream !
One day he decided to get on line on Chatroullete trying to find his friend, and he met this Mexican girl.
I asked him so many times to cut the contact with her, but he didn't care. One day he told me that he likes her a lot, and they get along together and he planned to meet her in person. On that day my world was destroyed and all our problems started from this point.
I never could accept the idea of my boyfriend flirting with Mexican teenagers - she is 19 and I found out later was more than 1 girl - so we had a lot of fights because of this.
He lied so much and he made me feel like nothing. I never had someone that hurt me so bad in my entire life.
The worst part is that I told to everybody that I would get married, and now he pretends I don't exist. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed to believe in all his lies ! I can't tell the truth to people, I just pretend everything is alright and I will live with this lie until I get back to the US.
Yes, I will come back. I'm not going to give up of my dreams and hopes. I still believe I can find someone who will love me for real, with no lies.

So, don't give of love ! It will hurt for a while but you are going to love again and be happy for sure ! Stay strong !

[Carenza LaRue]

my sweet..... I am so sorry for you. I wished I could make it better in some way

I think the other girl opened more than his eyes alone..... sorry to be blunt here.... but in all honesty.... if she didn't matter at all, he wouldn't have brought her up in conversations. but that's my 50 cent....
my experience with guys saying you can always call them if you need help... only say that at a moment when things are too complicated and they don't know what to do... so they give you a sort of promise to make it easier for them..... because they KNOW you won't call them for help.
you see......in that way, they aren't the bad guys.... cause they offered you 'help' ...
bet he won't be much around when you do decide to call him for 'help' ... expect him to be 'busy working' and 'call back on you later' when later never comes.

nope..... cut him loose..... clean cut as hard and difficult as it may appear. claim your own power to overcome this.
erase all memories, or store them in an attic somewhere deep in the back of your head and move on.

seek power and presence of friends and family, the ones who will help you through this ordeal without being judgemental. it will strengthen you and set you up for meeting a new person in your life who will be worth your love.

we are here for you....

[summerstillhere]

sorry to hear about that. hope u feel better soon.
well, the same thing happened to me too, u're not alone.
we are texting, email, chat all the time and suddenly he just gone. he ignored all my emails, texts and everything. and then i asked him why, he said he's getting sick of the distance and bla bla bla. eventhou the reason we broke up not because of third person but it still hurts as if i was nvr exist for him. it seems so easy to just ignore me just like we never been together. it happened around 2 weeks ago.

after a lot of crying, i decided to ignore him and i signed out from skype, my email and everything so i dont hv to contact him again.

i took my time to read books, take pictures, getting busy with work, swim and spend time with my family. i would suggest u to do the same because it also help me to forget about him for a while.

all the best for u. oh btw, the book i read is really good to gv back my confidence. u can look for it if u want. the magic by rhonda byrne.

hugs

[Malaga]

I'm really sorry you're hurting. It's often too hard for people to be honest when they're breaking up with someone as they want to avoid drama and feeling like a villain. So they say things like, "I still love you but I can't be with you", "maybe one day we can try again" and "there's nobody else". In retrospect, seriously the best breakups I experienced had been the ugly ones, when the guy said, no I don't love you anymore and I want to be with someone else. It made it easier to get over him.

I know you'd like to hold on to the thought that he still has feelings for you, but please think of yourself first. You deserve to be happy and to be with someone who wants to be with you with all his heart. Life is too short for wasting it on flaky liars.

Stay strong xx

[Berna]

My advice. Take it as it is. He doesn't want to be with you; his reasons are not that important. He tries to spice it up a little bit to ease his guilt. That is also what my ex has told me, that he loves me, that he finds me attractive and beautiful, the most beautiful girl he has ever been with, but that it's not written for us to be together, because he can't make the decision. Reading between the lines "I don't want to be with you". Period. End of story.

He is also tossing the friends card to ease his guilt (call me whenever you want), but right now you can't be friends.

And the "one day I may come back" is the story I've heard also "If I ever come one day with a bouquet of white flowers you may reject me because you are with someone else".

Take your time to heal. Avoid contacting him as much as possible. One day it gets better. One day, if he ever comes back, you won't want him back at all.

We are on the same boat, hang in there.

[ST25]

Awwww, I'm sorry that this happened to you. But as the others have said, you need to take the time out to sort yourself out and try not to speak with him anymore. That will just make everything harder on you and I know you do not want to deal with that. Keep your head up (as cliche as that sounds) and try to surround yourself with positivity at the moment.

[Skye]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I too am going through a break up, so I understand and feel your pain. The girl that "opened his eyes" sounds sketchy, but I suppose you'll never really know what happened there. It sounds like he just didn't want to hurt you and make a clean break; that could be because he still loves you or because he's truly a jerk and is covering his own tracks. You'll have to deal with that uncertainty. My advice is move on with your life. He doesn't want to be with you, but eventually you'll see that you deserve better and can do much better without him. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, go out, have fun, do your favorite things, and just focus on you! Now is the time to heal and focus on your life. You will get over this with time. Feel free to message me if you want to talk, sweetie! *Hugs*

[prinzeza87]

Thanks u so much all of u for your support it means a lot to me.
Right now I feel so much pain that I'm disgusted I do not wanna have any contact with him at all. Any time soon, I know ill get over him soon or later, if he ever comes back n asks for a chance again I hope I'm strong n healed enough to say no n back off , it's his loss