My boyfriend has found out his mother has cancer. I am looking for advice on how to be supportive for him. I want to know what to say to him in his time of needs. I have never lost a parent to death. I want him to know I am here for him. I don’t want to be selfish. He is very distant at times we can go days to even a week without talking due to the diagnosis. Im being understanding. I went looking for some books on advice on supporting a loved one but didnt find any. Maybe some of you guys can offer me some books or some assistance here? I have so far in support made his mom a afghan and chemo hat knitted, and hope it cheers them up when they get it.
I know his parents and family pretty well since Ive been with my bf for so many years, but his parents do not like me at ALL. They feel that he could find someone in his own country and not go through this burden or LDR ( no matter how many times he tells them hes going to marry me). His sisters two of them, even blocked me on yahoo chat!! because I am apparently ruining his life by being in the USA. Anyways, so I know that I can not just call her and talk or anything like that.. but I want to at least be supportive, and being supportive seems so hard from a distance on something so critical. I do go up there in september so that will help a lot, the only down fall is that well his mom will be around a lot at his place visiting the time im there which is good for him I want that, but she is so hostile about me even though shes sick shes still hostile! The thing is Ill never be good enough for her son because I'm American its strange they are just in Canada, but they have a big hatred towards the USA.
Last time I visited and saw his mother and dad, they were trying to beat me out with a BROOM! and we had to go back to his house cause they were not welcoming..its that bad. I cant and wont change the trip date just cause she is in town though, because he is begging to see me and needs me right now, the thing is shes not gonna be so happy and shes sick and I hate to put the stress on her. Ill be there four weeks and shell only have to deal with me one week of her visit with him.
I know his parents and family pretty well since Ive been with my bf for so many years, but his parents do not like me at ALL. They feel that he could find someone in his own country and not go through this burden or LDR ( no matter how many times he tells them hes going to marry me). His sisters two of them, even blocked me on yahoo chat!! because I am apparently ruining his life by being in the USA. Anyways, so I know that I can not just call her and talk or anything like that.. but I want to at least be supportive, and being supportive seems so hard from a distance on something so critical. I do go up there in september so that will help a lot, the only down fall is that well his mom will be around a lot at his place visiting the time im there which is good for him I want that, but she is so hostile about me even though shes sick shes still hostile! The thing is Ill never be good enough for her son because I'm American its strange they are just in Canada, but they have a big hatred towards the USA.
Last time I visited and saw his mother and dad, they were trying to beat me out with a BROOM! and we had to go back to his house cause they were not welcoming..its that bad. I cant and wont change the trip date just cause she is in town though, because he is begging to see me and needs me right now, the thing is shes not gonna be so happy and shes sick and I hate to put the stress on her. Ill be there four weeks and shell only have to deal with me one week of her visit with him.
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