He's Wanting to Pay for Me to Come

[Malisanity]

My SO is wanting to help me pay or even pay for me to go see him this New Years; however, he doesn't have that much money and if he payed for me, he would surely go broke. I DO NOT want him to pay for me, but he keeps on insisting because he feels bad about me having to pay to go see him. Ughh I just don't know what to do here. It's sweet that he wants to pay for me, but then again I don't want him spending all his money to come see me. Should I just give in and let him pay or wait a little longer, until I have the money to pay for myself?

[EnglishMan]

That is kind of him, and also good of you to consider his financial position. I mean if he has a wealth of disposable income then sure, but would a better idea just be for you to pay for the tickets, and him to cover a lot of the stuff you do together when you're there?

I see the fact that it'll be for New Years makes it a bit more tricky, sounds like the way to make that happen is for him to pay. If you wouldn't be able to afford to go by then would it be possible to go halves or a percentage on it?

[princessmeg1328]

Is there any way you could pay for half of it? It would relieve some of the financial pressure off of him, and you might feel better about it. You'd still get to see him for New Year's too which would make both of you winners.

[kittyo9]

Is there any way you could pay for half of it? It would relieve some of the financial pressure off of him, and you might feel better about it. You'd still get to see him for New Year's too which would make both of you winners.

Yeah... can you guys just split it? Sometimes I have to give my SO a little reality check and remind him that I am the one that makes the most money, and as much as he wants to be the man who provides, he is not in the financial position to pay for things like an entire flight or every meal we eat. It would be better for both of you if he did not spend all of his money on this trip, even if it hurts his pride a little.

[Peter A]

This is why people need to work out their budgets. Everything costs a lot of money these days. I think it's getting to be a joke with how much everything is priced these days, but it's not easy when people are separated by miles apart and paying is the only way to do it.

[Black_Halloween]

Well you could do two things, you could split the bill for the plane ticket along wit everything else

or you can buy the ticket and he can pay for a few meals, ectect (doesn't have to be expensive).

[Malisanity]

Thank you! I'm not the only one in this position of making more money than my SO!

[Sora1101]

Split the airfare in half or you pay for the plane ticket and he could pay for things like meals, hotel costs or whatever else you might need while there. You'd be covering
about the same amount if you need the hotel room if not you'll be paying for most of it but he can at least feel like he's contributing somewhat if he's covering your other expenses.

[Verojoon]

My SO paid for my first visit. Everything. I was completely broke and though he didn't have much money, he insisted that if he could come to me he would and he would pay, so it made sense for him to pay. The next two trips i paid for my airfare and we split the rest of the costs...

We also help each other out every now and then... I've bought him a new (to him) laptop when his broke... He's sent me cash when I couldn't buy groceries...

I think it is something you have to discuss with your SO honestly. can you afford to pay some and make it for New years? Is it important for it to be for that date? how will it affect his financial situation? Is it even realistic to consider... i think you should just both talk about the scenario until you come to an arrangement that make you both feel comfortable!

[XxFranticLovexX]

If you don't have the money and he thinks that he could afford it then let him pay. If not, talk to him about letting you pay or splitting him on it.
I paid to go see my so and am planning to either pay to go again or see if he would let me pay for him to come here. He doesn't have the money and I can get it before he does. Nothing major for me to pay, I want to see him so it's worth it. Maybe your so sees it the same way.

[KimberlyJ]

We have been together for 13 years and I have been to the UK several times and he's been here in Michigan a few times... he has paid for my plane ticket 2 or 3 times... when I get there I buy groceries and help pay for gas... just make sure you both discuss it and that one isn't going broke and will have the electricity shut off after you leave. Figure out a budget and get it all in writing so you both can look it over rather than being spontaneous. When we have our trips, we don't have "his" and "her" money... it's the "vacation fund". Serious financial hardship will cause stress, and LDR's have enough stress.

[TwoThree]

If you're so uncomfortable with the situation you could agree to him paying half of your ticket, but do it as a loan that you could pay back later on (if he's in a tougher financial situation than he is currently).

I have a good paying job but the economic differences between are two countries make my salary look like peanuts compared to his. Also a plane ticket to Finland is roughly what I make in a whole month, so most of the time he pays for half of it. He says he doesn't mind but I still intend on paying him back when we close the distance. I owe him about 2 000 euros right now

[Tooki]

Damn Finnish wages I'm pretty sure that the Finns support the Estonian alcohol industry with their money.

And to the OP, I support the idea of getting your SO to pay for half of your ticket, and also to pay back his half over time.