For those that started out CD

[Sharon Q]

For those that started out CD has the distance improved your relationship?

I was thinking and I found it odd, now it may be the fact that I've matured a bit as well but I've noticed that sense being LD I don't call or bug my SO as much.
I tend to give him and myself more personal space.

When we were in the same town I used to call and want to talk to him non-stop. that or if we got into a fight I would call non-stop ( I don't like being ingnored it irritates the hell out of me, especially when I'm trying to fix something or make it better ya know )

But now I give him more space, If we go a day without talking I worry a bit but I don't make it nearly as big of a deal as I used to.

The distance has actually made our relationship healthier.

Has the distance improved your relationship in any way?

[londongirl]

It's weird, we'd been friends all year and got together VERY close to him about to go home to Canada.

It was also a very intense couple of months- we lived in each others pockets more or less 24/7 and I had a lot of drama and stress because of graduation and got a bit 'argggggggh' and we fought a lot. I don't like the distance but it has given me some perspective. And I've grown up a bit. And I'm going over there for 3 months really soon so I hope it doesn't go badly again...I think the shittest part of LDR [except not being able to call/casually meet up] is that the options are all the miles away and never seeing each other or being together 24/7 for a long period of time.

I've never been the kinda person to want to spend loads and loads of consecutive time with one person, but with him it felt natural and ...now being apart, I'm excited for the upcoming months, and I think...now prospective has been gained it'll be a lot smoother and can't wait

[meganpillow]

I couldn't agree more.

When I first started the LDR, millions of negative thoughts rushed through my mind. What was I going to do? How was I going to manage? How am I going to be happy knowing I can't see him all the time?
But when I few days went by, and I was by myself in my dorm room in my college 5 hours away, I felt differently. I started thinking about my own needs instead of revolving my life around my SO and our relationship. I grew as a women and as a human being. I became kinder and I appreciated the time I had with my SO a whole lot more. I think having a LDR is a good indication of how your relationship is like.

[rain-a-shine]

I've been in a relationship with him for about 3 years. Over the last two months we've had to adapt to being in a relationship where we aren't able to physically be there for each other. It's been hard, but things are getting better. I got to see him last weekend and I valued our time together so much more! I think our relationship is improving overall, but it doesn't stop me from missing his physical presence everyday. Especially days that have been really stressful and a hug from him is the thing I long for the most.

[nomnom_elf]

i remember we had to become LDR after spending a year living together in the flat ( i had got a new job). I rems worrying soo much that last week before leaving. I found this website and asked if he'd be part of it (he didn't want to). I also rems asking him not to come all the way up just to dump me (as i had that done to me before, horrid after getting excited at seeing them...)

during our first LDR i managed to see him once a month- for the first few weeks it was hard to be living on my own again. however once i moved back i found the reverse was true- it was hard adjusting to being back in the same house as him!! visits were difficult as he djs weekends too. but we learnt to love and respect each other for the time we had.

this time round its harder as yet again i am LDR-ing due to career, and he looks set to get a promotion, which will most def tie him down in plymouth, whereas my job future atm is very much as and where i can get it. but we are coming up to 3yrs and moreover have learnt that its ok to not be in constant contact.

i still get doubts as to when the relationship might be headed ( i mainly post em here so they don't get voiced in reality) but my SO hasn't indicated that he's v.unhappy about the situation. So no matter the miles we can still support each other in our endevours.

[alittlemind]

I really do think the distance has improved our relationship. Like you, when we were CD we were constantly on the phone.

I feel like I've become a lot less clingy, I don't constantly have to talk to him or know where he is, etc, and the time we spend on the phone is a lot shorter (although I wish sometimes it were more), it gives us the time to ourselves and to grow as individuals. The distance has taught me what trust is, which had originally been an issue with us, but I know that I trust him. Also, I can communicate better with him, because I know I need to. I can't just brush it aside anymore until I see him again, which was usually just hours away.

And not only has it improved our relationship, I think the distance has also improved my relationship with my friends and family. I certainly have a lot more time to spend with them, and to talk to them, etc. My SO and I used to go to the same REALLY small school, so our friend group was limited and we spent all our time together. We had the same group of friends, so we spent even more of our time together. Now that Kaleb isn't here anymore, I feel like my relationship with my friends is growing, I'm talking more to them and getting to know them better, and it's really nice. They are great people and so supportive of us and I couldn't have asked for better friends.

Of course the distance sucks and I would love for Kaleb to be here and also have these great relationships with the people around us, but for now our situation is what is for the best for our futures. One day when we close the distance, it'll be worth all of the heartache.

[efish1042]

Yes. It's let us both grow as individuals more than would likely be the case if we had never gone LD. It's helped us mature and value our time together, yet not smother each other. Just to name a few things off the top of my head.

[floridaellen]

I feel like I've become a lot less clingy, I don't constantly have to talk to him or know where he is, etc, and the time we spend on the phone is a lot shorter (although I wish sometimes it were more), it gives us the time to ourselves and to grow as individuals. The distance has taught me what trust is, which had originally been an issue with us, but I know that I trust him. Also, I can communicate better with him, because I know I need to. I can't just brush it aside anymore until I see him again, which was usually just hours away.

I was going to type something out but really... this haha. I think being LD for half the year has really helped our relationship and allowed us to mature both as individuals and as a unit.