Questioning my own strength.

[dougiefru]

The last couple of weeks I have been really up and down. And not like normal up and down, but very high highs and very low lows. It has sucked. I don't know whether it has been due to depression or anxiety. But, for some reason instead of focusing on the positives of my life (I just got accepted into an optometry school, my family loves me, my girlfriend loves me, etc.) My mind keeps focusing on the negative thoughts I keep having, such as: doubting my own strength to stay in this relationship, and when we finally see each other again are things going to be different, I've caught myself unintentionally thinking about there being a break-up imminent when neither me or her are showing signs to each other that that should be true. I don't doubt that my SO and I are meant to be together, as this is the only girl I can say I have every truly loved, I've had serious relationships in the past, but I have never felt so strongly about them as I do this girl. But, I would just like to keep the positives in focus rather than my negative thoughts. I'm scared I will do something irrational if I keep having these thoughts (not hurting myself, but destroying my relationship.) Some days I do feel like I love her less, but deep down I know that that isn't true, and that it's my bodies way of telling me I've gotten over the initial hurting/missing stage of the beginning of an LDR (we have now been in one for 2 months, we have 4 1/2 ish until we see each other again.) And when I talk to her it's just the same as I've talked to her before, we talk on and on like best friends do, which I consider her my best friend.

I guess what I'm wondering is have any of you guys felt this way and what did you guys to do combat these feelings?
I have started seeing a therapist because I hate when I'm so low that I don't feel like doing anything at all. It just sucks.

[Softy]

Yup, I do also have highs n downs.
Some very bad downs too.

I think it's normal (up to a certain point) in a LDR.
There is love and passion and so much wanting each other but frustration and sadness also accumulate because you cannot see your lover as much as you would want.

Sometimes I feel super down and I think that I won't make it, but then I think about him and how difficult it is for him as well.
So I don't give up cuz he doesn't give up.

Talkin helps : )
Get it out, don't stay alone when you feel down.

[Puppy's.Kitty]

I get down from time to time and think he could find a girl who is closer and better it really gets me down but then I talk with him about it and feel better cause he let's me know that I am the only girl he wants by his side. Maybe you can talk with your so about your fears?

[Mims27]

Yes, those feelings are normal and I'm sure most of us have had them. I've been getting them lately mostly because of the "unknown" stuff about our LDR. For example, we don't know when exactly we will be together (my SO is in school) and that plays with my head a lot. She and I are at different places in our lives right now and what helps us most with these highs and lows is COMMUNICATION. It really is the key to making it work. Talk to your SO about it and whoever else you are comfortable with. Do not keep this stuff in. Trust me it always finds its way out and it usually ends up being bad. Stay strong, the end result will be worth it. And in the meantime you have this place where you can come talk and vent!

[NikkiDeAnn75]

I definitely have those days. I try to keep them under control and think about how good we are together and how great it will be when we are together permanently. It is really difficult though. Stay positive. I think the doubts are natural in any relationship regardless of distance, but not being able to see your love for long periods of time make it even more difficult. That's why I joined this site. I figured there were others who would understand how I feel. It has helped to talk to people who understand.

[Nbaby]

I can totally relate. Some days im so happy and other days im super depressed and i tend to give more attention to negative thoughts nd feelings.
Talking about it helps a lot. Im not rly a talker but im trying to change that and open up more.

I get down from time to time and think he could find a girl who is closer and better it really gets me down but then I talk with him about it and feel better cause he let's me know that I am the only girl he wants by his side. Maybe you can talk with your so about your fears?

I hate that feeling so much but i always feel better when i talk with him about it.

[dukes2011]

Yes, those feelings are normal and I'm sure most of us have had them. I've been getting them lately mostly because of the "unknown" stuff about our LDR. For example, we don't know when exactly we will be together (my SO is in school) and that plays with my head a lot. She and I are at different places in our lives right now and what helps us most with these highs and lows is COMMUNICATION.

Wow you summed it up nicely since I'm in exactly the same situation! I've definitely had these feelings and even though I know I should focus on positives, I do sometimes get hung up on the "What ifs" of the LDR. Communication is key and it's great to have a best friend that can help you through feeling down. I turn to the forum a lot too since there are people all over the world so no matter what time of day, you can always find someone on here to talk to. Also I'm glad you started seeing a therapist when you felt like you needed. I went to a few sessions and was initially resistant, but they helped a lot! I hope you have the same experience. Hang in there and sending positive energy your way

[US2CAN]

You will have moments like that...lots of them but you have to stay positive no matter what. Keep yourself busy and active when you both aren't on to see each other or talk to each other.