Break Up

[avera]

so i had been dating this guy for about 3 years. we recently became an ldr but not by much, we live about 150 miles from each other now. before we left to college he was hysterically crying promising that we would make it work, that all we needed was communication and that he would put worth the effort. well about 2 days ago he broke up with me. he said he loves me but we just arent compatible. he wasnt the least bit sad. quite frankly, i doubt he even cared. whats worse is that he broke up with me a day before our 3 year anniversary. not talking to him on our anniversary was the hardest thing. of course, he didnt text or call me. i just dont understand how in a matter of 2 months he can go from being absolutely in love with me to not caring at all. it was so out of the blue too. we had been arguing a little bit more but i felt as though that would go away once we adjusted to being an ldr. our main issue was he never wanted to communicate with me. he said he felt as though he was reporting to me which is obviously not what i wanted but i did want to know what was going on in his life. everyone i have spoken to says that because he lives on his own now and he has the utmost freedom and he wants to make the most of it. it really sucks because i want nothing more than to be with him and i really now that we can work it out but he doesnt want anything to do with me. has anyone ever been in this situation? does anyone think that this is relationship can eventually be salvaged?

thanks,
avera

[rubydissolution]

Oh wow, i'm so sorry. Honestly I tend to agree with your friends that you have spoken with. He's young, on his own in college. He probably does want to be off doing his own thing. Unfortunately for your relationship that means being single. I think going off to college puts a lot of pressure on high school couples, he probably just buckled. For the time being, I would let him be. Let him do as he pleases. Unlike girls, who experience break up sadness and regret right after it happens, it takes guys a while to be sad about the loss and potentially regret it. Of course by that time, you may have moved on...but only time will tell that. As I've always said, if its meant to be you will find your way back to each other. GL

[ST25]

He probably wants some time to 'sow his oats'. That doesn't necessarily mean seeing other people but it also means that he probably wants to do things without feeling like he's being tied down. Not that YOU are tying him down - just the relationship itself, it being ldr and all. He made a decision and testing it out for now. If he misses you, he will eventually come back to you. I am sorry that it had to end that way though, after so many years. Feelings do change after a while though and that's probably what happened to him (I say 'probably' a lot, I need to stop that).

Right now, take your time to grieve or do whatever you like to do to keep you busy. Keep your head up.

[meganpillow]

He probably wants some time to 'sow his oats'. That doesn't necessarily mean seeing other people but it also means that he probably wants to do things without feeling like he's being tied down. Not that YOU are tying him down - just the relationship itself, it being ldr and all. He made a decision and testing it out for now. If he misses you, he will eventually come back to you. I am sorry that it had to end that way though, after so many years. Feelings do change after a while though and that's probably what happened to him (I say 'probably' a lot, I need to stop that).

Right now, take your time to grieve or do whatever you like to do to keep you busy. Keep your head up.

I really believe in this here ^

As for healing... take time for yourself and go do something fun. Keep busy. Take a day to cry and be sad and scream and be bad. Then, travel. Read a great book. Go out with friends. Smile.
Since you say that he just left for college, I am guessing that you are not to far off my age (I turn 20 tomorrow).

Whenever these things happen, just remember: if it was meant to be, it will happen. Maybe he will regret his decision and come back, or maybe he won't.

You are going to be fine, I promise. Time heals wounds. <3

[D.4C]

i'm sorry to hear this...kinda seems to me...that maybe he is enjoying his newfound freedom...and that maybe he has found someone closer to home...that totally sux if it's true....true love is worth fighting for...and 150 miles isn't that far....you will have to keep us informed of any changes

[temporaryuser]

long distance isnt for everyone. The stress of being away from home and going to school is a lot ot deal with and everyone handles it differently. For him, trying to be in a realitionship with someone he cannot be physically close to may be too much. And once he was away he realized this and had already made the decision before talking to you about it, making him seem like he didnt care (because he had already dealt with teh feelings)
Give yourself some time to heal. Try to stay busy, make yourself go out with friends and do things. Do not sit in your room and sulk. Do not text him, phone or email him. maybe in time you two will reconnect, but for now try to move on.