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**D.4C** · October 25, 2012, 08:02 PM

decisions can truly suck...and i get where you are coming from...but you moved away and decided to start a new life with the hubby...maybe at least going to visit your sister and that would help...how far is it?

**Hollandia** · October 25, 2012, 08:09 PM

That is a hard choice. I would choose my SO. It might sound cold but if he is to be your life partner then he should come first. You should be able to Skype with your sister during her pregnancy. Either that, or you go be with her and Skype with your beloved man.

For me, it would be Him.

**lyonsgirl** · October 25, 2012, 08:24 PM

i understand you don't want to miss out on your sister's pregnancy, but think about it this way. You can Skype with her. You AND your SO can Skype with her! You'll still be involved with her life, and her baby's. Just because you are living in Florida now doesn't mean you can't go back and visit her. The holidays are coming up soon, maybe you can go home and visit her! (And who knows, maybe even bring your SO along!)

The biggest problem with being in a LDR is that when you close the distance, someone is always going to be missing out on something. Someone is going to have to make that sacrifice, and yes, it's hard. But the best you can do is tell your family that you will make it home as soon as you can.

**Tooki** · October 25, 2012, 09:50 PM

You made the hard decision to move to your SO, you can't turn around and go back now.

Plus were you able to be with your sister during her first pregnancy? You will have the rest of your life to see baby #2.

And thank god for the wonders of Skype!

**stephanieaz** · October 25, 2012, 10:11 PM

I agree with others. You have chosen to start a life with your hubby. I think you should make the best of your current situation by visiting your sister (possibly spending a week or two with her after the baby is born to help out), keeping in touch via Skype/e-mails/Facebook, asking her to send you pictures, mailing gifts for the baby and your nephew, etc. There are plenty of ways you can stay involved with her pregnancy without physically being there.

Good luck.

**MissVampyxo** · October 25, 2012, 10:39 PM

But it's just hard and I'm tempted to go back because I honestly don't like it here. The main reason I'm even here is just to wait for the hubby to finish school..I was planning on going to college here but now that my sister is pregnant I'd rather go back. We don't even live out on our own nor do we even have jobs, the entire time I've been here I've been applying like crazy and so has he for the past 2 years and literally we have no luck with jobs. We live with his parents and it has been a big ball of stress for me and my parents just want me home since they know how stressful it is. If it were more of me and him living on our own and this happened I wouldn't be questioning going back home and with recent health issues of mine and no insurance or money it's all just so hard.

Also me and my sister aren't close in that sense..we rarely talk yet.. we're close? Idk how to explain it! We talk every once in a while and talk about stupid things but we don't have deep conversations or anything. Just getting on skype with her would be uncomfortable for both of us because we don't talk like that.

**MissVampyxo** · October 25, 2012, 10:42 PM

And we also do plan on visiting together. We're supposed to be going for about 2 weeks around Christmas, but my parents are throwing a fit telling me I need to stay home until February which is a big pain. So on top of planning that out, dealing with everyday stress, his parents, me getting the big news, me having health issues, I just wanna give up!

**Hollandia** · October 25, 2012, 10:57 PM

Moving to Holland for good is a scary thing too. I think it is for most of us that are the ones that will have to move. That being said, if I want to be with him, I have to do it. I would be concerned what kind of a signal this would send to him. I would suggest that you talk to him about how you are feeling before you make up your mind.

**Kiyama** · October 26, 2012, 01:56 AM

I sounds to me as if you have gotten some kind of cold feet. There is no real reason to go home. Your sister is pregnant now so it'll be a few months until the baby is actually there and you say you aren't really that close so it seems you're looking for excuses to pack up your stuff and leave.
The question is what causes these feelings and what you can do about it. In the end only you can decide whether you really don't want to stay in Florida or if you could improve your situation there and that the fact that you're with your SO outshines the bad stuff. Would it really make you happy to go back home and what would be the consequences?
Take your time to think about it but if you make a decision, make sure you do it for the right reasons.

**Tooki** · October 26, 2012, 02:29 AM

I agree with Kiyama. Are you having problems being with your SO, or are you having problems with your current situation?

If it's the first one, go back home. If it's the second one, really think things out because as Kiyama said, it feels like your sister's pregnancy is an easy excuse for you to go home.

Also if you do stay in Florida, why can't you just go home around the back end of your sister's pregnancy? You could still be there when the baby arrives, but you won't be bailing out on the commitment you made to your SO.

**temporaryuser** · October 26, 2012, 09:54 AM

You are both young. You didnt get married to him did you? if neither of you can support your own selves, and you are relying on his parents for housing and food then I can see where it would be very strressful. have you applied for government assistance? Work first programs? Applied for financial aid for schooling? if you havent done any of these things, then you are just looking for an easy way out
look up the local social services dept. make an appt. you would be surprised at how they may be able to help you or atleast point you in the direction of the resources you could use.

**Oldblighty** · October 26, 2012, 10:25 AM

Reading your post made me think about when I have to make that move all the way from England to Illinois! Once I make that move I cannot just decide go back home if somethings happening in my family or for some reason I don't like where I am. We can't always have it the way we want it. You made the move to be with your SO, and ok you might not like it particularly but you have to try your best to make this work. What's stopping you from visiting your sister when she gives birth. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices in life and grin and bare it. I'm not trying to be harsh at all my dear, just trying to be of help....

**MissVampyxo** · October 26, 2012, 01:53 PM

Originally posted by subeasley View Post

You are both young. You didnt get married to him did you? if neither of you can support your own selves, and you are relying on his parents for housing and food then I can see where it would be very strressful. have you applied for government assistance? Work first programs? Applied for financial aid for schooling? if you havent done any of these things, then you are just looking for an easy way out
look up the local social services dept. make an appt. you would be surprised at how they may be able to help you or atleast point you in the direction of the resources you could use.

No we aren't married yet but I don't know what that would have to do with anything. He is already and still on his parents' medical and insurance and I obviously can't get on that since I'm not their family nor do I have the money to get my own insurance. I can't get financial aid because I haven't stayed a full year to be considered a Florida resident to apply for it. I just don't see how I would be able to get any help whatsoever with no job and living with his parents.

**MissVampyxo** · October 26, 2012, 01:56 PM

Originally posted by Tooki View Post

I agree with Kiyama. Are you having problems being with your SO, or are you having problems with your current situation?

If it's the first one, go back home. If it's the second one, really think things out because as Kiyama said, it feels like your sister's pregnancy is an easy excuse for you to go home.

Also if you do stay in Florida, why can't you just go home around the back end of your sister's pregnancy? You could still be there when the baby arrives, but you won't be bailing out on the commitment you made to your SO.

I don't have the money to go back whenever I please, rather my parents don't. Since they're the ones who have to pay for my plane tickets. I said from the beginning that if my sister had gotten pregnant I'd want to go home. My nephew is like my own son and I'm really close to him and I don't know how I'd cope with not being there in person to be with my sister through the pregnancy and be there to actually bond with the baby. And no I'm not that happy here because we have to live with his parents. They drive me insane but there aren't big problems with him and I. I love being with him and I really wish we could have our own place together, but I cannot stand his family. That's the only problem that I have being here.

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