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    I feel so alone

    I just have this feeling of just loneliness. My SO is messaging me about how she was having such a great day with her friends and it hit me. I am alone here. I was the one of the two of us who stayed here while she left, but it is the opposite of what we expected to happen. I'm the one left alone most of the time.
    Because of work and school, I have no time for anything else besides skyping with her. But I just feel so alone all of a sudden. Maybe it just finally hit me. Its tough not having anyone physically there after work or school, I'm on my own. Sure I have a bunch of friends, but I rarely see them because our schedules never seem to work. I won't get to see another friend of mine till at least monday and I haven't spent time with anyone since Tuesday.
    I don't know, I just feel so alone, I figured LFAD would understand more than anyone else

    If anything, it is more of a vent(?) I guess, just needed to say it all

    #2
    I totally get you. School is so busy for me and my friends as well and we hardly have time to socialize left. Normally I don´t really mind but this weekend my boyfriend suddenly treated me so shitty. I was with him last week, with him at uni for the first time for a few days. It was a great time, but we are very busy the last few days since I´m back home because we have to catch up with stuff. For me it´s being busy with school, but he is doing all kinds of other stuff as well. I really missed talking to him and have been wanting to skype about some issues, but then yesterday, he was suddenly like:
    "Hey, sooooo I'm away for the weekend, so talk to you on monday."
    So I was a bit like "where are you going? With whom?"
    "Frisbee tournament"
    "Okay... well... have fun I guess, when are you leaving?"
    "Now and my phone will be off all weekend, enjoy your weekend, byee xxx" .

    I felt like he just hit me really, he was going off for a whole weekend to socialize with his friends and play sports, while I'm back home here to study neurology.... I had hoped to skype with him so much, but he was just like " going away for the weekend, bye!!!!" I was so pissed off at him for the way he just told me last minute, especially since I had really been wanting to talk to him about our issues... ARRGHH.

    Now I wrote a letter to him explaining how I felt, I'm going to read it to him next time we are skyping, cause I tend to go easy on him when I talk to him again. The letter really captured my feelings at the moment he acted like that so I hope that helps...

    For you it's a little bit of a more difficult issue I think since you and your SO are doing fine from what I understand.. Isn't there anything else you can do that doesn't include hanging out with your friends but still makes you happy and gives you the feeling like you spend your time in a fun way? I must admit I can entertain myself for hours when I'm alone doing all kinds of projects and stuff.. Even though I feel a bit lonely sometimes when he doesn't message me a lot or is busy at home, I try and stay busy myself.

    /wall of text/ sorry!!
    Last edited by memyselfandi2x2; October 27, 2012, 05:22 AM.

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      #3
      Hang in there. This will pass.

      Comment


        #4
        It better pass, don't know how it is for the other people on this forum who feel like this sometimes, but really, I feel sooo depressed right now 0.0
        Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this loneliness or set my mind of things..?

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          #5
          i'm with you my friend...i also live alone..for now...well...my two dogs...lol...but monday through friday i go to work...and come home to a virtually empty house...and it's kind of depressing...and weekends sometimes can be worse...the one thing i do have goin...is i bowl in a league every monday...and ever other saturday...and that helps to get me out of the house...and i have band practice every other tuesday...here's what keeps me going...my girlfriend and i are closing the distance as of january 22nd...and i keep that on my mind at all times...and try to get myself out of the house once in a while...i've never been in a long distance relationship before...and i didn't think it would be as hard as it is...especially since she came to visit...which was our first meeting...but...i know that it is all worth it in the end...

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            #6
            I can only say I'm with you on this too. Its going to kill the relationship (mine that is). My boyfriend does not get it and only causes fights. Like everyone says try to stay busy and focus on something, anything else.

            Comment


              #7
              I'm joining the lonesome club too....It is so hard being alone the majority of the time, with your thoughts. I really know how your feeling my dear, I am feeling the exact same way at the moment. I sometimes don't talk to anyone but my husband for weeks on end..just remember there are a few peeps on here that are in the same predicament.......




              Started Writing - February 2010
              First Visit - September 2010
              Second Visit - June 2011
              Third Visit & His Release Date - February 2012
              Our Wedding Day - April 2012
              Submitted I-130 Visa Application - July 2012
              NOA1 - July 2012
              NOA2 - December 2012
              Fourth Visit - December 2012
              Closing The Distance - Watch this space

              Comment


                #8
                Usually I'm okay with my own company (and my dog), but there are times where the lonliness gets unbearable and I really feel like I can't take another day of it. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with family and/or friends. Even if it's just a phone call or texting, etc. Most of my friends are of the online variety, but I do have family in town. Just keep yourself busy as much as possible. If you're not physically busy, at least keep your mind busy with books, movies, tv shows, whatever. If you are depressed, you may want to consider therapy or some kind of counseling. Maybe look into local groups to join or meetings to go to. Take a class with your local parks & rec or college, even if it's just a personal interest class. Join a gym. Start a new hobby or pick up one that maybe you've let slide. You always have us here at LFAD as well. I am sure there are quite a few people here who have been there before.

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                  #9
                  I joined this forum because of the lonely feeling. I am a very social person and have never spent so much time alone. I stay in all the time because of the extra expenses of travel now. I met several friends form forums and a few good ones IM me everyday. When not enough people were around at my other ones, I joined more.
                  "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                  Benjamin Franklin

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                    #10
                    I understand how you feel.... rly do.

                    My bf is so far...

                    Yes I do have a few friends but I work a lot too.
                    And I go back every nights to an empty home, it's painful and lonely.

                    If you were nearby I'd offer you to hang out but Im in Montreal, Vancouver is at the other end ^_^

                    Keep strong!

                    But it won't always be that way ^_^
                    Eventually the distance will be closed and we will be happier !
                    ♡ ~~~~ 'When you find something worth fighting for, you never give up' ~~~~ ♡

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I'm home alone (my housemates are back at their family's homes) for the weekend, I've only been studying and I haven't left the house since Friday afternoon. My GF was really busy yesterday, and we didn't speak until she got home in the afternoon. She wasn't in the mood to talk, so I 'forced' an hour of conversation out of her before I went to sleep.

                      I know that she feels bad about it(and she sent an apology message while I was asleep) but sometimes you just accept the obligations and wants of your SO, especially if they don't align with what you want.


                      Originally posted by memyselfandi2x2 View Post
                      It better pass, don't know how it is for the other people on this forum who feel like this sometimes, but really, I feel sooo depressed right now 0.0
                      I feel VERY lonely. Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this loneliness or set my mind of things..?
                      Study . Or hang out with your friends.

                      I don't know your SO, but maybe he is hanging around his friends for the weekend to cope with missing you? The first few days are always the worst ones and guys do sometimes need a bit of isolation at first (away from the source of hurt - missing YOU) to wrap their head around it and start coping.

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                        #12
                        Originally posted by Tooki View Post
                        I don't know your SO, but maybe he is hanging around his friends for the weekend to cope with missing you? The first few days are always the worst ones and guys do sometimes need a bit of isolation at first (away from the source of hurt - missing YOU) to wrap their head around it and start coping.
                        Yeah he might be doing this... He didn't say anything about how he is coping with things, but he hardly spoke to me since I have visited him, while it was perfect when I was over there.. It's as if he is completely shutting me out, which freaks me out a bit. This weekend for the first time I was suddenly so sick of this long distance that I have even been looking into moving to England to do my studies over there next year... While I know that wouldn't be the right choice for me cause I have normally a very busy life going on here with my study, friends and job and I love living where I live right now most of the time.

                        Thanks for the support so much! It really helps me through this weekend, next week school will start again and everything might be a little bit better then.. Sometimes I do think of counselling though, mainly because it just really distracts me while I should be stepping up to do my schoolwork. This weekend I should have been studying for a test really hard but I have nearly done a thing cause I just couldn't concentrate. Going to counselling for something like this sounds so stupid though...

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Tooki View Post
                          I'm home alone (my housemates are back at their family's homes) for the weekend, I've only been studying and I haven't left the house since Friday afternoon. My GF was really busy yesterday, and we didn't speak until she got home in the afternoon. She wasn't in the mood to talk, so I 'forced' an hour of conversation out of her before I went to sleep.

                          I know that she feels bad about it(and she sent an apology message while I was asleep) but sometimes you just accept the obligations and wants of your SO, especially if they don't align with what you want.
                          Oh and I very much feel you in this one! Most of the time I just try and give my SO the space to enjoy his time over there. I feel guilty asking him to spend 'cybertime' on me instead of spending time with his friends who are actually there.
                          Maybe you should try and get out of the house a bit more by going for a walk or something? My mum was tired of me looking depressed and all and she took me out for a walk in the woods. I was dreading it at first, but afterwards I felt so much better.
                          I also messaged my best friend a lot in the evening and we talked about how I feel and all and it really helped me!
                          Do you have a friend to whom you can talk if you feel sad about your LDR?
                          Last edited by memyselfandi2x2; October 28, 2012, 12:40 PM. Reason: wrote bf for best friend*

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                            #14
                            Hi, you seem to have touched on a thing common to a lot of people here, including me. It's in a way a different kind of life to be LRD with someone. Not only do you see each other seldom, it also affects your day in other ways than "normal" dating. I mean for me, late evening chatting makes another schedule than normal.

                            I recognize myself in this too. Just hoping it will not last to long before we can make progress so we will not be away from each other that much as we have had up until now.

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