Distance got the better of her

[dorabase93]

We just had a huge fight last night. It was about me making a decision that she didn't think it was good for me. It got so tense that we threw harsh words at each other. After a long fight we started to calm down and work out the solution. We did find a way that met both ends but we weren't able to get rid of the tense and exhausted feeling after such a long fight. And then she told me something like "you either weren't here or make me worse when I'm at my worst". If any of you guys read my previous posts, she has a extremely stressful life that she can hardly get away from it. I'm always there for her, it's just that she got stressed so regularly that out fights often add up with that. after that, she told me that she felt lonely when there is so much happened while she didn't want to mention, she wished I was there with her and said she just want me beside her to hold hands, hugging and relax together. I trust her with everything so I don't think that there is another person involved but it sounds like she getting weakened by the distance and the stress she has. It just breaks my heart thinking that we might not be able to make it until I come home in June. but I tried to calm and reassure that I always want to keep on with her and help her stay strong.
we stopped talking for some minutes now to give her some time. but honestly, this is kinda demoralising. It's not like I want to give up. I feel helpless while she wants a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold and make her safe. but I realistically can't give her those, not right now. I don't know how to deal with this with at least 6 month ahead of us. I hope she calm down and come back to her senses soon.

[Kiyama]

Been there, done that. She needs to accept the situation as it is and not dwell on the distance. It's not helping anyone and doesn't change anything so why not make the best out of it?
Unfortunately those are things she needs to realize on her own. I had to go through a depression and it was a long process of getting better and to where I am today. A happier me who enjoys her life even when my SO is far away.
I not really sure what advice to give but to say that I feel for you and I also understand your SO but she really needs to change her attitude, otherwise the strain on your relationship will get worse :/

[Anyaheirkoya]

**hugs**

The distance gets to us all. I totally know where both of you are coming from. But keep holding on, and constantly reassure her of your love and devotion to waiting. Word of advice? Don't fight with her. Just refuse to. Don't belittle her or make her feel her concerns are invalid, but stay calm, and answer her harsh words with love. I know it's ridiculously hard to, when you feel the need to defend yourself, but believe me. If she is going through a lot of hard, stressful time at home, you've got to be her anchor. <3

I wish you both the best. Keep us posted.

[dorabase93]

It feels great to come here and see your support as always.
I'm glad she's back to normal now. She still seems a bit tired though.
Good news is I might fly home earlier than last year Until then, it's gonna take a lot of effort I guess.
Hope you guys have a good time

[Softy]

/patspats

That what LDR does.
It does gets the better and sometimes the worst in all of us.

Sometimes I go get angry at very small things or for absolutely nothing at my bf.
And he asks: 'Why are you so angry!?'
And I go: ' I don't know...'
Then he replies: 'I'm sorry, I know why and when i'll be over we will both be fine'.

And he's right.
LDR makes use sad, mad, anxious, angry.
We may say or do things we don't normally do.

Simply because our hearts ache to be with the one we love.

Keep strong, keep being there for each other no matter what and you will make it : )

cheers

[Darrinzgirl]

In our situation, outside stresses make things so much worse.. I guess we are a bit different and privellaged in that we appear to be one of the few couples here who are usually together and just getting into this LDR thing, but because of that, we are used to having each other, physically, to lean on.. So now it seems harder to go through that stuff without him. And then when we do talk, it's easier to trigger me, and then he gets the wrath of all my stresses, not just "our". Stresses.

Hopefully it looks up for you. It sounds like you do have an end in sight, which is why we keep pushing through, because we can see an end. I'm not sure I could do it without a clear end date in sight.
Try to keep reminding each other... It's temporary.