Need advice but not about my SO

[Puppy's.Kitty]

I dont post on here much except when I really need advice and right now on this I am stressing a little. To explain, I am planning on moving in with my SO and his family after somethings are straightened out. He has already talked to his parents for me, something I wanted to be there for but due to the situation that I will explaining soon he did it without me and thats fine, and they are alright with it as long as I get a job and help out with the house of course. I have no problems with this it was something I was going to do anyway.

The problem comes from telling my mother. You see her and I are very opinionated women, we have our views on how things should be done and that causes us to butt heads, normal right? Well the reason I am moving is because my mom has done nothing but put me down for what seems like my whole life. She calls me an idiot and says I still act completely like a child and disrespect her. Now I may act like a child while living with her but I have never said anything to disrespect my mother, I love her and learned to always respect your parents. I may act childish but I believe that is due to living with my parents and counting on them for a lot I have lived with ex's before (when they werent ex's of course) and no one ever told me I acted too much like a child. I have been trying to save money to get my car fixed and have been using my moms car lately, the problem being that as soon as I have a little more money on me my mom wants it...I have to not tell her when I have extra money and tell her the $125 I give her for rent from each check is all I can give her and hope she believes me, but with the extra hours I have been getting I dont think she will believe that for long...I have thought of going to a vocational school instead of a 4 year college. Reason being I dont want to fight for classes and I dont want to go for 4 years, just not my thing. When I explained this to my mom she called me an idiot and said I always make the wrong choices and I will do nothing but f**k my life up and amount to nothing...Basically I want to move out yes to be closer with him but also to get away from the mental abuse I get from my mom and have the chance to save up to get my car fixed so that I have my own vehicle again.

My problem? Though I am sure about this move and sure that it will be good for me, I can go to school where I wish, my SO said he will help me save money for the car once I am moved in (only reason he isnt doing this so far is because I havent allowed it), and pay is better over there especially where security guards are concerned not so sure on customer service. The thing is, is I have a fear of my mom that has stemmed from years of abuse from her...I walk on egg shells all the time because I do not know what will set her off. She has calmed down for now after a few weeks with arguing at least once a week but I dont know how long it is going to last and I am planning on moving out maybe the end of Jan if things go well. If I can get advice on how I should approach my mom on this I would appreciate it, any questions of course will be answered.

Sorry its so long and may not make too much sense I am writing this before I have to sleep for work and the sleeping pill is taking its toll lol, thank you for any advice given and if this is in the wrong place sorry ><

[XxFranticLovexX]

My advice is to have faith in yourself and your ability to do things on your own and just tell her straight up what you're doing.. when it happens. I wouldn't tell her too far ahead of time because she will, most likely, try to find ways to stop it from happening. Once you're gone she will eventually get over it. I would offer different advice if the situation were different, but you have to do what's best for you in a situation like this and I think what's best for you would be to go about your plans and then fill her in on it once there is no way for her to do something to physically stop you. She will still have the ability try guilt tripping you and playing on your emotions but you will have everything in place to carry out the move regardless. I wish you luck. <33

[Sharon Q]

You need to sit down and have a talk with your mom about how you feel. The fighting is normal but I highly recommend talking to her about how you feel. It may be hard but trust me if you guys don't at least try to mend the relationship you will regret it later.

Also stick with your plan move to your SO. I think talking with her about the move to help. She could have a lot of fear with this. She might be afraid of never seeing you again..

I honestly think a lot of how she is treating you is based on fear.

Try sitting down and having a serious talk with her might help a lot

[jleec24]

I was in a similar situation not so long ago. Definitely sit down and talk to her but when you do, be firm. Have a lot of confidence in what you say when you tell her that it's time for you to move on and get a hold of your life. Explain to her that when you do move you won't be acting the same as when you are at home because given that there isn't anybody to look after you, you're going to find that you will need to do it on your own.

When it comes to the money, make something up in the mean time. Anything to make sure she doesn't know that you've got extra money. When I was in your situation, I lived off very little and my parents would think that I was always broke when in fact I was saving up around 200+ dollars each month in attempt to move out as well. When it comes to these subjects, just keep to yourself as much as possible.