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How Did You First Meet, and What Was Going On in Life? (WARNING long post)

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    How Did You First Meet, and What Was Going On in Life? (WARNING long post)

    To be completely honest, my SO and I have a pretty big age difference, and when we first met it was quite illegal, you might say. I was turning 17 when we met, and he was turning 35. I had been on this very popular chat sight for a while, until one day a chat mate of mine said that he found a really cool room, just dont tell them how old i am just yet. Eventually, I started to get along with a lot of the people there despite the fact that they we all older than me. Of course, like in any chat website, you get those pervy messages from random people. I usually just closed or blocked any stupid messages. But there was this one guy that just said something cheesy, despite the fact that I didnt have a profile picture, he said that i "looked" beautiful...I was all 0.o? and he said "I'm sorry, i suck at this" and we started a conversation there. we tlaked everyday until the end of the school year and i said that when im at home during summer vacations, i dont get a lot of time on Meebo. Eventually, we just stopped talking, about a year passed and I learned that Meebo was shutting down all chat rooms, so i was able to just collect "Addy's" from my friends, i had his already but I didnt see him on, couple of months passed and i got into college, FINALLY, and i finally saw him online, we stated talking again, even though we were really embarrassed that we didnt remember each other's names xD, at the time of all this, i was suffering severe clinical depression and i was having boy trouble. It ended with that person and through countess days of messages, my SO finally said he had feelings for me. i said that i also felt the same, even though i was having some emotional issues, on the inside i didn't really want anything. But I pulled myself out of it, and i opened up my eyes and saw he really did like me. at first we felt very much like friends with benefits. I was ok with that, for the time being. Eventually we would start talking on skype. I was so nervous to hear his voice, but the moment he said "hello sexy" like he always did over messages, i felt my heart flutter. From then on he would message me from a meebo app on my itouch asking if it was ok to call. All i had to do was listen to what was going on downstairs to see if i could get some time to myself. Usually i would lie to just get some time to myself. my family life by the way was in the shits, i hate my father for being emotionally abusive to my sisters and my mom, but i hated him mostly for letting his anger out on me, physically. When my SO found out about this he got pissed every time he heard my dad yell through my bedroom door.

    I'd say our relationship started out one cold winter day in February, when I was leaving the campus, still hanging on to that last bit of wifi i finally said that i love him, a couple of minutes later, he said he loved me too. I felt like my stomach and heart were being tossed into a blender. that night though, we couldn't talk. So the next day, i asked if he was weirded out with what i said yesterday. he said no and asked if it was too weird that he loved me back. i was like "HELL NO" and so we finally just started loving each other forever more.

    Every passing day that we talked, it felt like my depression got it's natural medicine, though there were time that i felt like i needed a triple dose of my chemical meds. I finally felt legitly loved and cared for, and even though he cant buy me anything (cause he's very broke) and even though i cant touch him (cause we're stuck where we are) all that matters is that i actually have somebody special to actually miss.

    Now, im messaging him on skype just waiting to hear his voice before i fall asleep tonight. Even though we kinda fell asleep on each other a couple of hours ago. Yes we took a nap together lol

    so tell me your guy's stories, id love to hea...er...read them.

    #2
    Wow that's quite a story! Here's mine:

    I was in a marriage that was falling apart, my best friend had moved away and I was sad and lonely. I just wanted to talk to new people who didn't know me, and basically just escape a little bit. So I joined a pen pal website. There were lots of pervy guys that I brushed off immediately but I talked to a few people, some guys, some girls. They were nice and all but it wasn't really doing anything for me. I was pretty close to deleting my account when I thought what the hell, I'll go check out some profiles and see if there's anyone interesting. Before that, I'd only talked to people who messaged me first. First page I saw Luke. I read his profile and just thought 'wow! it's me but male!' And I was relieved that he'd be a "safe" person to talk to because it said right on his profile that he was married with a kid.

    I messaged him and we chatted. We started conversing day in and day out, any time we were both awake. We got to 1,000 messages on the site before we decided to switch to email. Then we talked on email and grew closer. We started opening up to each other about our lives and our marriages and while we didn't blatantly say it, it was obvious we were both unhappy. Then he bought an Iphone and downloaded Viber and we started texting and calling. Shortly after that started, one day I was out and seemingly out of nowhere, he told me he had feelings for me. I had feelings for him too but I told him that for us to do anything about those feelings would require a whole lot of him and I wouldn't ask him to do that. And he said he wouldn't ask me to either but he needed me to know. So we basically agreed that we felt something but had no expectations. After that even though we had said we didn't expect anything, it became apparent we wanted to be together. And one night I got a really amazing text telling me he was in love with me.

    A little bit later he left his wife. I wanted and needed to do the same but it took me much longer. I had a difficult time leaving my marriage. Even though it was fundamentally over and I was in love with someone else, I was scared to hurt my husband, scared to financially be on my own, there were so many unknowns. Then one day my friend/coworker texted me to tell me she slept with my husband. I went home from work, packed my stuff and left. I should have done it way way before that and I'll never know why Luke waited for me. Why he trusted that eventually I'd be his wholly and truly. I don't know that I could have or would have done that. But he loved me enough to wait. And even now as I type that I'm tearing up because before him, I could never have fathomed that kind of love. But now I have it He came and visited me after that and we had our wonderful first meeting. Then I flew to him to visit and now, hopefully in just a couple months I'm moving to be with him. And have our happily ever after



    Met online: 1/30/11
    Met in person: 5/30/12
    Second visit: 9/12/12
    Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

    Comment


      #3
      Those are quite the stories, and I wish you both much luck and happiness and longevity in your relationships!

      I met my SO on a site called AspieAffection.com, it's a site for people with Asperger's Syndrome to meet and form friendships/relationships. I didn't go on the site often.. I'd go through waves of wanting to meet someone and waves of feeling happy being single.. and I'd usually come back if I got any messages or something, and then see what they were like. I talked to a few others, all just friendly type conversations, not going anywhere. Then one day, around October 7, 2009, my SO sent me a "wink" and so I checked out his profile.. he didn't have a picture up, but what I saw I thought was interesting and I messaged him back... or I might have winked back first and then the messages started. Anyways we started messaging back and forth, and then exchanged facebook and myspace (we hardly ever used myspace, but we both had one) and one day I was on Facebook, and I saw him online and he said "Hi" to me in the chat feature.. which I hardly ever used to talk to anyone prior to him (and still don't use it much except for him) and we talked everyday, he'd ask if/when I'd be online the next day, and we'd make plans to talk, and we'd talk basically every day. He had some major financial issues that cropped up shortly after we met and went into Christmas, so we didn't get to talk sometimes because his internet would go off... and things got better after Christmas sometime but we were sort of shaky.. seeing as we got close but then I was scared because I wasn't sure how I felt because it was my first relationship and wasn't sure what to do and was kind of scared to make the wrong move.. so we sort of had a period of time we didn't talk as much, only through messages, but we kept that up on a regular-ish basis. I couldn't stop talking to him, because I cared too much about him and realized that I did love him.

      And we started talking around June 2010 and from there, things started growing more again.. part of our resistence to being in a relationship was that it would be hard for us to see each other since he was in the UK, and me in Canada, and I didn't have my passport yet either. I got my passport in July 2010, and we had a few moments where we'd say "jokingly" put our statuses as in a relationship.. and we'd "joke" about how we already were in a relationship.. and things.. and I told my parents and sisters and friends by now that I met someone online who was pretty cool and lived in the UK.. and then September 1st, 2010, we were on webcam one day/night, and he said he wanted to put his relationship status (on facebook) as in a relationship.. with ME. And when I realized he was serious I got giddy and happy and excited and immediately wanted to do the same. I think it was something that really set it in stone that it wasn't all a joke and I wasn't taking it all the wrong way.. he was seriously in love with me and wanted to be in a relationship with me (I think I wanted to believe it but then was scared to believe it at the same time). And I booked my flight to meet him for the first time in person about a week or two after we declared our relationship, and we met in November 2010, and that showed us that we did get along just as well in person and it was so much more amazing than we could've imagined.

      And since then we have spent two more chunks of time together, totaling about 5 months of time spent in person (2 weeks the first time, then 4 weeks, then 3 1/2 months!). It's been so amazing, but now we have come to the reality of our situation and what it will take to close the distance.. money, so we have to get uni degrees and get good jobs to get enough money to be able to be together, get married, do everything we want to do together. It's hard and frustrating that we couldn't get this all done sooner and just be together permanently now, but unfortunately we have to wait a few more years. But I love him and want to be with him forever and that will never change, so we will get through it all together.
      Last edited by squeeker; November 9, 2012, 01:32 AM.

      Comment


        #4
        Hm, this is a interesting one!

        Well, I had just gotten out of a "relationship" with a guy that was awful, he moved in with me and a week afterwards I broke up with him....but he refused to move out and I didn't have the heart to send him to a homeless shelter. He did move out a while later (over a month of him sleeping on my couch), but needless to say I was a bit emotional beat up since I had grown to hate this guy by the time he left.

        Me and HBB had mutual online friends that we hung out with on skype group chats and I had seen him in there a few times before but never thought much of it. At the time I was very happily single and was a bit consumed with my online friends and role playing (I know, geeky :P) so I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship. However I was, and still am, an insomniac so frequently I would still be up a 5 am when HBB would wake up in England and log on. Usually everyone else had gone to sleep since they were all Americans, and not insomniacs. So me and him chatted a few times, and finally decided to webcam chat one day due to me wanting to hear his accent. It was funny because both of us thought the same thing after our first 5 hour cam session..."He/She is too hot, no way would he/she be interested in me like I am in him/her!". We both had pretty much fallen in love instantly. I was really convinced he didn't like me since he had the stoic british thing going on, plus he was intimidated by me and my forward nature so he was being a bit quiet. I remember reading into everything he said on my FB and taking it to mean he didn't feel the same when actually he was trying to play it cool so I wouldn't catch on that he liked me since he assumed I didn't feel the same. After playing this game of miscommunication for weeks I finally just bluntly asked him if he had feelings, and he admitted he did and I admitted I did. It wasn't long after that that I slipped up and instead of saying "I heart you" like we had been saying for weeks (instead of "I love you" which we hadn't said) and said "I love you". I was mortified and hung up the call, and tried to not think about it or his shocked not sure how to react laugh and facial expression. We talked again a few times and it kept eating at me, because he hadn't said it back I knew he didn't feel it...and I hated being in love with someone I "knew" didn't feel the same. I told him one day how I was feeling, because at the rate I was going I was eaten up inside feeling like I was in a one sided relationship. We talked, and turned out HBB had never been in love before, and so he hadn't said it back because he didn't know if what he was feeling was "love" or just attraction. After talking, I started to cry and that is when he typed "screw it. [My full name] I love you!". He was afraid to say it, but seeing me cry made him realize that what he felt could only be love. The rest, as they say, is history!

        Comment


          #5
          Its nice to read all the stories . So here is mine.. Its Superlong

          So it was a few months ago. Back around february. I was having a huge fight with my boyfriend. I think the biggest one ever. I was hurt really bad by it. We werent talking for 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks i tried 2 contact him and everytime he acted so distant on the phone. I even had to go to the doctor 2 check if i had diabetes. The doctor said I was fine. So ofc i called my boyfriend to bring him the good news and he didnt care about it. So i just continued on with my life and stopped contacting him. Mind you i like to play online games and i meet a lot of ppl online (including perverts, but i just ignore those). At the time i was playing counterstrike source. I was playing on my favorite server, which was an american server (USA). And some guy added me on steam. I accepted him and we started 2 talk and he added me on skype pretty fast. We even started calling every night. He told me that he liked me a lot and even said he loves me. I liked him too but didnt love him. He knew i had a bf and wanted me to choose between him and my bf. I live in the netherlands and he lives in USA. Ive never met him rl life and i wasnt planning giving up on my relationship of 6 years. And i felt like i was cheating. Eventually he gave up on me and deleted me.

          I was hurt but got over it quickly and one day i was playing on the server. I saw a guy entering with an interesting nickname and he was from Canada. He was pretty good so i decided to add him. we started to talk and became good friends. The next day my boyfriend called and said he wanted 2 see me. So we meet up. At that point I thought he would break up with me and I alrdy prepared myself for it a lil bit. We didnt break up and i couldnt believe it. But I was happy and we were talking again and everything went normal. At least thats what i thought. I still didnt forgive him completely what he did but i thought i would get over it. But it became worse. Everytime i was there we ended up fighting. I was unhappy when i was at his house. So i decided to only go to this house in the weekends and stay home on the weekdays. In the weekdays i usually played games and talk to my canadian friend. I always had a great time, he made me laugh and we flirting a lil bit. I felt really attracted to him. We even started to miss eachother in the weekends becuz in the weekends i was staying at my bf.

          So one of those weekends my bf came over to my place. We were watching a movie in the livingroom. I was on my laptop chatting with my friend when all of a sudden he told me that we should talk less becuz he had feelings for me. I was shocked becuz that day I realized i had feelings for him 2. He was single and he knew that i was in a relationship. So we agreed to talk less becuz we both knew it was wrong. Since that day we hardly talk to eachother and went on vacation. When i came back my relationship changed. It felt to me we were more like friends with benefits. My feelings were dissapearing i felt unhappy. We were fighting all the time. He acted so uninterested. We didnt kiss or hug anymore. I couldnt get on with it anymore and decided not to visit him anymore for a while and think about my relationship. In that time i also started to talking again with my canadian friend. I knew it was wrong and i felt guilty but i was happy and so was he. So we ignored our deal and just talk 2 eachother everyday.

          One day my boyfriend called me and he was pissed. He asked me what was wrong and if we were breaking up. I couldnt go on with it anymore so we broke up that day. It was at the beginning of july. After a few days he contacted me again and told me he want me back. I told him that i need space. He didnt trust me and started questioning me if there was someone else. I denied becuz i knew he could get really angry and i was scared for him. And i wasnt planning 2 jump in a relationship anytime soon.

          He didnt gave up. And start doing research. He went to my house and checked my laptop when i wasnt there. He saved all the information on a memory stick including info bout this website. He confronted me and my parents with it and I had no choice but to admit it. My parents and my ex wanted me to break contact with the guy. So i tried to do that the next day and we ended up in a huge fight. Becuz i kept a big secret from him and i told him and said it was better that we stop having contact. But im happy he didnt gave up on me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so happy and told him i would love to be his gf. So now we are in a relationship together .

          We have yet to meet. But i dont know he makes me happy. I never thought i would end up in LDR with someone i never met in rl life. But he is amazingg. I still feel bad becuz i know i hurt my ex with this and he still wants me back but i couldnt continue with a relationship where i felt unhappy and that i fear my partner. My parents are not really happy with it. I understand but we will see.. To be continued.. Lol

          Sry for the superlong story.
          Last edited by Nbaby; November 9, 2012, 09:12 AM.

          Comment


            #6
            I met him in a salsa club while I was studying abroad. I had only just recently been contacted by an ex saying he wanted me back. So I was ready to go home and try it out with this guy again. Me and my current SO hooked up anyways. In fact, this one time he asked me "is there someone waiting for you when you go home?" and I told him "yes".

            Well I got home and I tried things with this guy, and it wasn't like it used to be. (Honestly, I still sometimes do the "what if?") I had to choose between them. This ex was so into me, and I just wasn't feeling it. So I picked my current SO. And then I went to visit him in CR. And then he visited me in the USA. And that's when we decided to give things a go and have him move in with me.

            Comment


              #7
              ...yeaaaah, might as well steer away from this. My story's too...complicated.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by ST25 View Post
                ...yeaaaah, might as well steer away from this. My story's too...complicated.
                You can top mine for complicated??? I need to hear. lol



                Met online: 1/30/11
                Met in person: 5/30/12
                Second visit: 9/12/12
                Closed the distance: 1/26/13!!!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Dezface View Post
                  You can top mine for complicated??? I need to hear. lol
                  My story's way too long - might talk about it in a blog post or something on here because it's that complicated. XD (and plus since I'm a writer, I tend to get into story/writing-mode when it comes to recounting parts of my life, haha.)

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Bah, I have to have a certain number of posts before making a blog of my story. Oh well, I'll post it here. Warning - long post and might make you feel enraged.

                    As you can see, I've been in an LDR for three years now. I love him to death and foresee an awesome and bad-ass future before us just involving us making the other happy. Sure, we had our good and bad moments, but overall we've been pretty excellent as far as some long distance relationships go.

                    However, the foundation that this relationship was built on...was not so pure and sweet.

                    It all started (egh, cliche) back in the summer of 2009. I was involved in an LDR online relationship with another guy, who was two years older than me. I had known him far beyond that though, back in 2007. Me and him were a part of a group that did RPs together with fan characters on a gaming forum. Thing was, he got with me while he was with another girl, who he started to hate and call crazy thinking that she was cheating on him (Oy vey...). We started out pretty nice and we stuck together just for the fact that he was really insightful, sensitive and kind. Considering that I immediately got with him right after I broke up with my first LDR boyfriend (he was a part of the RP group too), I can see why I would think that. We lasted for a year at that time, so it was good. Good for me, good for him.

                    However, that summer he had gotten a job as an apprentice at an office somewhere and he would speak to me while he was at work. I was happy for him, but I was also terribly bored. I started to miss the times he was at work, so I decided to go back to the forum I RP'ed at, hoping to at least pass the time until he got home or started talking to me again. After a while, I wandered into a section of the forum where people just talked about random things instead of talking about the next game that's coming out or how much your fan-character is the best or whatever. It was just a place to chill, relax or just be ridiculous.

                    Here's where my current SO comes into the picture. I lurked a thread that was reserved for randomness and saw a lot of people having funny conversations and everything. My SO was in a certain group of Europeans that always shit-talked and goofed around with each other and I was impressed. Mesmerized, more like.

                    I didn't actually speak with him until I said something about his sleeping habits. He said one thing to me, but I didn't mind him too much after that. The second time around, he was debating about what to call me (since his little group had nicknames) and, ironically, opted to call me Sara, which was his ex-girlfriend's name. I told him what my real name was and he gave me a nickname based out of that and commented that it was a beautiful name.

                    As the days went by, I started to hang out more and more with them, especially with him. At times, we would gradually grow closer and closer with each other, but it didn't dawn on me about the fact that I was becoming infatuated with him until, say, the 4th of July. Before long, I gave him my MSN and he gave me his. We started to talk more privately and I was amazed at how much we agreed on subjects. He's very intelligent, completely understanding, very mature, laid-back and calm. I felt so comfortable with him.

                    Naturally, I started getting feelings for him, so we started to grow from small flirts to HUGE ones on our conversations in the forum. As this went on and on, I became less and less interested in my ex-boyfriend at the time, but I was still faithful. Or at least I thought I was.

                    Okay, this is where you'll probably throw daggers at me.

                    At one point, I'm flirting with him playfully on MSN, as usual, but then it got to the point where we were getting (cyberly) physically close. He said 'I've never done this before' and, without knowing why, I responded 'but I have'

                    To cut to the point, I cheated. Yep. I cheated.

                    Long story short, I had been carrying on double relationships - one with my ex-bf and the other behind his back with another guy from the forum. The sad thing about it is, my ex-bf realized that something was up (he just didn't know about the cheating) and he tried SO hard to make the relationship better - even going so far as to change who he was to accommodate to my pleasures. Needless to say, I had never broken up with someone before, but I did not want to hurt him like this any longer. So I did and got with my SO on the same day. My ex was heartbroken, saying that if he could cry like he used to he would and that he never loved a girl like me before. I just cut it short and stopped talking to him, figuring that I should give him enough space to forget about me. After that, I got with my SO and he was the happiest man alive. And, to be honest, I felt really happy too.

                    So yeah, there you go. I know that what I did was wrong and I'm not expecting anybody to pat me on the back or hurrahs or anything like that. If I could take back how I carried on like that, I would. My SO tried to rationalize it, saying that the relationship was on the rocks anyway but I know that feelings were hurt and it was incredibly selfish of me.

                    But even as I was sad about it, I can say that I don't regret it. Because I never would've met such an amazing man that would help me become the person that I am three years later. We support each other so much and he continues to amaze me at how much love he shows me and how happy he makes me every day. I know I'll get karma, but it'll be all worth for this great experience I'm having. I can take it, not like I haven't had any already. But really - I'll love him beyond my dying day.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Lets see...I met my SO online on an RPG forum back in August of 2009. I had been an avid role-player for a good 2 years before my SO and I met and honestly I was getting sick of it, all the forums I was a part of had the same people, we all followed each other from forum to forum so of course it was much like a very tight knit family which meant that the drama traveled as well. That was when I decided it was time for me to quit these sites, nobody really even wanted to role-play anymore we all just sat around in the chat room talking. When I told my friend I was quitting the site he convinced me to join a new one he had found which none of the old people were a part of, which as it turns out was run by my SO but I didn't know that until months later, so I decided to give it a shot, I signed up that day and began talking to people in the chat room trying to get to know everyone while I was browsing the thread topics. Now being a part of multiple forums I thought it weird that this particular one didn't have a "post your pictures here" thread and me being curious chose to start one with my own pictures.

                      I guess my SO must have seen them pretty fast because almost immediately he PMed me and asked if we could talk through MSN instead of having to mess with the chat room because it was so hard to keep up a conversation with multiple people talking in the same place so I said sure and gave him my screen name. Honestly I thought he was just gonna be one of those guys that just wanted to have cyber sex so I was prepared to shoot him down right away but instead he started flirting with me like he was actually interested in me as a person and not just one of the few girls that actually role play. And to my surprise I started flirting back, I never flirt and I don't know what gave me the courage but for some reason I enjoyed the energy between us, I was severely depressed at the time and I remember not having smiled so much in years. Once we got out of our flirty stage a couple hours later we finally made real introductions and he told me he was 20 years old. My heart dropped, I hadn't expected him to be 5 years older than me everyone else I knew from these types of forums were 14 to 18 years old, definitely not 20. When I told him I was 15 the conversation suddenly dropped, we both realized how dangerous this territory was. After a couple more minutes of awkward small talk he suddenly proclaimed that he didn't care how old I was, he said it didn't matter because we were so far away from each other anyway it wasn't like just getting to know each other was illegal and I quickly agreed. Like I said I hadn't been so happy in a long time and I didn't want to lose that.

                      But then I realized that I had to go to my friends birthday party/sleepover and I didn't want to lose track of him over the weekend. So here was my dilemma, give my phone number to a total stranger or possibly never talk to someone who brought a little happiness into my life. I told him I had to leave and that I really wanted to keep talking to him but I wasn't sure it was a good idea to give out my number so without any hesitation at all he gave me his and told me to text him whenever if ever I felt like it. So I logged out and left, I barely made it out the front door before I realized I wanted to talk to him more than I had wanted anything in a very long time so I sent him a text. We texted on and off all night long and I poured my heart out to him, and before I knew it three days had passed and suddenly, I don't even remember how it happened, we began dating. I tried my hardest to keep my friends out of it, I knew what they would say if I told them I was dating a 20 year old I met online, but they noticed a change in me before I even realized it myself and so one day they told me they knew I had met someone so I told them everything. Of course their reactions were exactly like I thought they would be but they saw what he did for me, he saved my life literally and so they accepted him although grudgingly. Weeks after we got together I became a whole new person and I've never looked back since.

                      Notes:
                      Met: 8.17.09
                      Started Dating: 8.20.09
                      First Met: 10.2.10
                      Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Wow. These are great stories. Thanks for sharing. I am new to this sight and thought this was the only place I can share what I am going through. My story is long and currently complicated. So WARNING...long story.

                        So to start off...I was was dating a good friend for about 4 months (don't ever date a good friend). Things didn't work out because the "so-called" friend wasn't committed. I thought that we would stay friends but he was a wimp and ignored me. I was extremely hurt because I never thought a good friend would ever do that. I took me awhile to get over it. More hurt about the friendship then him not wanting to be with me.

                        4mos later..still a bit hurt but doing ok. My family/friends went on our annual trip. And I met my guy in Paris...(Paris in Las Vegas that is). I was at the Casino at one of the tables playing Carribean Stud and there he was. Walked up to the dealer to relieve her. Yes, he was one of the dealer. I thought he was cute. It was good eye candy while i was playing. I chatted with him very casually but my friends thought we were totally flirting. After awhile, he came back to relieve the dealer again..and lets just said i waited around until he came back. We then exchange numbers and I told him if he ever visit California to hit me up and I would show him around but I didn't think he would ever contact because it wasn't like we were in the same state.

                        I went back home and Halloween was just around the corner. Went to a party and met this really cute guy and exchanged numbers. We went out a few times and during that time, the Vegas guy actually called and told me that he was going to come visit. I was a bit shocked and I was debating between the 2. I couldn't even handle talking to 2 guys at the same time. 1 guy was close to me and another guy was too far. However, I had more connection with the Long Distance guy. So then I told the other guy that I didn't see any connection.

                        When my guy visit, we hit it off and started dating. This was Oct 2009 when we met in his town. He came to my town in Nov and in Feb 2010 we became official. We had such a great time and connected very well. After a year of knowing each other, I was really nervous because I knew that I loved him. Which I have never felt this way before with all my other ex's. Even though I have said that 3 word before, it didn't feel the same this time. This time, I was scared to tell him. i finally blurted but I never got those same words from him. And I understand that everyone has their own timing. I never said those 3 words again and waited. 6 mos after, he broke it off with me because he didn't want me to give up my life to move to him. I was heart broken because I didn't see it coming. For 6 mos after the break up, it was still hard but I still think about him. I don't know why but I was still hoping.

                        Then one day, I accidentally texted him instead of my sister. and we started to talk. He gave me some hints saying that he thinks that he made a mistake. But that was all he can say. My family annual trip to Vegas came up again and I asked him to see if he wanted to meet up for lunch. We had lunch twice. The 2nd time, I was sad and we talked about the situation. He told me that he can't commit and can't promise me anything because he is going through some personal issues. That is why he doesn't want to proceed. But when he dropped me off, he grabbed and kissed me. I was shocked but left. The weekend passed and my bday was coming up. He wanted to come see me for my bday. We of course spent time but still not back together. We saw each other a few more times and it felt like we were together. I was just waiting on him to tell me. But another rock came across his path and he told me that he has to deal with an even bigger issue. He needed to figure things about his life and I really think he just doesn't want to pull me down. This happened april 2012. So then we had the disconnect again. although I check on him via text only to see how he is doing every month for the next 3 mos. But I was ready to give up. (He isn't the type to keep in touch). he text me about a mos ago and also on my bday. But i was ready to say something to him because I needed an answer of what was going on. But yesterday, i called him up just to chat. During the call, he mentioned that he eventually wants to come to California and see me but he wants to focus in school right now. There were things he said that was hinting that he wanted to be with me but he doesn't want to flat out say it and I think he is still unsure. So to me, it appears that there is a chance that we may get back together. So yes, it is so complicated right now because technically he isn't my SO but I am still waiting for him. He won't finish school for another 2-3 yrs but my heart does not want anyone else. I have tried to forget him but just couldn't before. So I think I will probably ask to see if he would spend New Years with me....Please wish me luck on this complicate LDR..

                        Sorry for being so wordy and long.
                        Last edited by ChunLo; November 9, 2012, 11:42 PM.

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                          #13
                          Definitely great stories!

                          My so and I originally met when we were around about 13. It was one of those meetings that immediately had so much chemistry. At that point in my life I had a relationship with a girl that was breaking at the seams because her friends and parents hated me because I didn't share their same religion. My (now) girlfriend and I spent quite a lot of time together but usually in groups because of mutual friends. I was a very introverted kid back then and she had pretty strong feelings toward me but nothing happened. Soon after I had to move to the Philippines. We had a kiss before I left (awwh) but it was just one of those chicken pecks. When I moved, unfortunately we grew apart. She had feelings for different men as her and I didn't speak much but seeing as I'd go back two times every year, every time that happened we instantly felt the chemistry again. But of course I'd always have to go back and we'd grow apart again. Specially cause over that period of time my SO had developed a very strong partying habit.

                          After two years, I went back to visit again this time for an entire month and during that month we spent quite a lot of time together. Also in groups. During that moment in time I had just gotten out of a really bad LDR with a girl who cheated on me for her neighbour in Australia. So I went out with my friends for one of my best friend's birthday party. I had a little too much to drink and I ended up kissing her. That part I actually do not remember. However, when we got into the cab to go back to the house (we were sleeping over her house) it turned into a pretty heated make out session. Which was a little awkward cause we were in a really full cab. It continued back at the house and since then we just developed a relationship.

                          It might not have started out really romantic but I don't regret anything. I am glad she is finally mine and JUST mine.

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                            #14
                            I love reading the "long version" of the how we met stories. And the convenience of having them all in one place is awesome!

                            So, my story, like many others, begins with me in a relationship with someone else. And that started out LD. I met my ex online. He was from Texas, I was in Alabama. We talked online a lot, and he finally came to visit me a month and a half or so after we first met. I hate to share this part of the experience because it is a fear so many have.. I wasn't really attracted to him... I talked myself into it, though because I liked to talk to him so much. But... that never really changed. Anyway, we closed the distance a couple months later (he moved to start school where I was). It was... ok. The whole thing was founded on lies and him wanting to be taken care of, which is apparently a hard thing for me to refuse.

                            I eventually started getting depressed because I was so unhappy. Making the decision to leave him was hard, but once it was made, there were even worse logistical problems. As I was coming to the conclusion that I was leaving him, his car got repossessed. So he had to quit school (he hadn't been going anyway). And then I realized that I was financially dependent upon him (we'd lived together for over a year, and he used his VA benefits to pay rent, etc). So he decided to move back to Texas to live with his mom. But I had to drive him there... The day before I made a huge presentation... On no sleep... Needless to say, it wasn't exactly a friendly break off.

                            So after that, I had a few days to move out. I did, but I was flat broke. I met a really amazing woman who allowed me to sublease her apartment (illegally) and didn't make me pay a deposit or anything. She was really great... I also got a little help from my Dad, though grudgingly. So I had a place to live. But I had NO money... And beyond that, I wanted some company. I got lonely. I was cut off from the world while I was with my ex because he had such severe social anxiety and he got upset at me for not being home as much as possible... So I had lost some friends...

                            So, being a young woman, hungry and lonely, I started dating... My SO looks at me sideways whenever it comes up, because at the time, I had gone on a few dates for those very reasons. I had even chosen restaurants where I knew there would be a lot of food so I could get two meals out of one date... I was completely broke.

                            When I saw my SO's profile, though, I knew I'd found something special. I knew he was perfect for me. His profile mentioned he was a poor grad student that didn't even have a couch (the only actual piece of furniture I owned) and that he loved cats, but couldn't have any (I had two). So I sent him a short message saying that he sounded interesting and I must be so lucky to have both a couch and cats. That got his attention. Apparently he was a bit concerned over my age (I was 21, he was 27). He says he never would have sent me a message first, but since I initiated, he was ok with it. We talked for a couple weeks before meeting because he was very busy and lived an hour away. But when we met, I knew... He's the one for me. It was by no means a perfect first date, but its little imperfections are what stand out in my memory. Like he got a parking ticket. And I opened the door before he knocked on it (I just couldn't wait!).

                            He did know that I was really broke (it had come up, can't remember why) and when we ate at Olive Garden, I had soup and breadsticks and completely filled up on them! Didn't touch my entree. So he really thought I was starving... It was an... uncomfortable beginning, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
                            Met online: Nov 2010 - Met in person: Nov 20, 2010
                            Closed the distance: April 27, 2011
                            Accepted to PhD program 200 miles away: March 2012
                            LD again: July 24, 2012
                            Left School and Closed the Distance for good: March 8, 2013
                            Married: November 1, 2014
                            Started job 200 miles away: February 23, 2015

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                              #15
                              I love a good story Thanks for sharing yours.

                              Mine's too damn long, as there was quite a gap between meeting online and then meeting IRL. So, I'll give you both stories, but not the meat in between!

                              Ok, well, once upon a time, there was a young witch named Zephii living in a small town. She was a few days shy of her 17th birthday, a high-school drop out, living with her partner of the time (Who we'll call "P" - he was 40) P's Defacto Wife of roughly the same age, and Daughter (19). She had no job, no money and few friends, so she spent almost all her time on the internet, as access to the household's internet connection had been an early birthday gift for her.
                              Online, she made a world of new friends, mostly other pagans. She hung out in many chat rooms, frequented forums, and had an msn contact list half a mile long. It was amazing she still managed to be lonely.

                              One of these randoms on her MSN contact list changed his name/message thing that day in early May and it said "I'm cleaning my contact list. Anyone who does not talk to me today will be deleted." She didn't remember who this person was, but it was the internet, so that didn't matter. She struck up a conversation and from that day forward, no matter what horrible things she said or did to him, he never deleted her. He never blocked her or moved on.

                              The attraction was there from the outset. There was nothing Zephii couldn't tell Obi, even though he was easy to offend, easy to shock, sheltered by his parents and super close-minded. She thought of him as a challenge, and more, was irresistibly drawn to his refreshing innocence. What he could see in her was harder to imagine. But their friendship stuck fast and flowed first into an outlet for their sexual appetites and then into something deeper.
                              The years rolled past, and everything they felt for each other only grew stronger... but he was in Canada and she in Australia, so he sat on the sidelines and loved her, while P treated her poorly, alienated her from everyone and kept her chained with lies.


                              ~Time passes~

                              In a far away land lived a rabbit named Zephii, she'd been through hell and could tell you the tale. She was 20, soon to be 21 years old. Her mother had died and left her, she was struggling to finally complete school (was getting nerdtastic marks) and was repairing the relationship she'd nearly lost with her older sister. She had recently broken up with P, but he continued to plague her. Sometimes trying to woo her, sometimes begging but more often threatening her violently, intimidating her physically and often sexually, or worst of all - threatening the people she loved.
                              One day on MSN she saw a link in Obi's name/message "I made the news!" and she clicked it.

                              And as she read, she cried. He'd been hit by a car while crossing the road. He'd suffered a concussion, had stitches to the head, and had snapped his femur clean in half. What was he doing on MSN? And why hadn't he started a chat with her?
                              "Are you ok?" she asked.
                              But it was not he on the computer, it was his girlfriend Kea. Kea seemed nice, but made it clear she wasn't much fond of this Australian girl who Obi was always writing a diary for and sending gifts to. She reassured Zeph that Obi was alive and fine - he was home, not in hospital, and sleeping.

                              But Zephii was shaken. What if he'd died? Would anyone have thought to tell her? Did anyone on his side of the rift know how to get in contact with her? What if he had died and she'd never met him? She admitted it all to herself then. She loved this boy, he was her staunchest friend. He was smart and caring. He showed her that she deserved better and waited with praise while she fixed her life up.
                              When she spoke to him next, she asked him to take her to her formal (graduation ball), to be her date for that. It was something she'd dreamed about for many years, but now had the courage to ask.

                              But it was too far in the future. She wanted this one to be hers. Her buck. And he'd said he'd never do LDR again. Never get back on the merry-go-round and let her hurt him again... so she needed to go to Canada and steal his heart.
                              "If I could get to Canada somehow, if I could afford that, could I stay with you and would you feed me?"
                              He'd said yes. But he probably didn't believe she could do it. She was unemployed, living on student benefit. She'd never flown before. Suffered from a massive social anxiety disorder. Didn't have a passport, didn't know visas existed.

                              But, she saved as hard as she could, and in the mean time, she fought as hard as she could to get his attention and keep it. (His relationship with Kea was short lived) She flirted non-stop. She bought a mic, and overcame her fear of using it. He sent her a webcam and slowly, she managed that step too. It took her a 3rd of the money the government gifted her that year, her clothes and shoes were falling apart on her body, but scraping together everything she could, she booked her trip to Canada for Christmas that year. 7 weeks with strangers.

                              He met her at the airport. They told each other what they'd be wearing, terrified that they wouldn't recognize each other (our cams were a bit shit!). Then he was walking towards her - he was so tall! - and she let go of her suitcase as he gathered her up in a hug, lifting her off the floor. It was the most natural thing in the world to wrap her legs around his waist, she wanted to hold on and never let go.

                              ... And I didn't. Mwahaha.
                              Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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