The context (i.e. the break-up):
My LDR boyfriend and I called it quits last week, after about 1.5 years LDR and 6 months CDR before that. We've both been having stress-filled periods in our lives, with many more such weeks to come - possibly one of the reasons why we broke up in the end. I have been trying to organise a trip to his country for December as part of our "let us meet twice a year" plan, but the nature of my job is such that I would not be able to fully confirm that I would be going until about one or two weeks before the actual trip. Nonetheless, I told the ex about my plans, hoping to give him something to look forward to. I also urged him to carry on with some travel plans he had with his friends, saying that I would match my schedule with his. (I had lived in his country before, so I had plenty of old sights I wanted to visit and activities I wanted to do too.)
Instead, he told me that the stress of an LDR was too much for him. In particular, he resented how my planned trip and the uncertainty thereof meant that he felt that he could no longer commit to the travel plans he had made with his friends. He also said that he wanted to travel the world instead of always spending what holidays he did have visiting my country. When I expressed that I was willing to use up all my vacation leave to visit him twice a year instead, he told me that two week-long visits a year was insufficient for him.
Needless to say, I feel absolutely gutted by his having ended the relationship. However, I'm also feeling more than a little unhappy at how all my efforts at trying to make the relationship work have basically been thrown back at my face, and cited as the reason for the break up.
The Christmas gifts:
Unfortunately, the break up happened pretty much just after I had finally gotten all his Christmas gifts, and now I can't decide what I ought to do with these presents.
Some of the gifts are too expensive for platonic friends (which we're now supposed to be, although that's rather awkward). However, there seems to be little point trying to sell them, because selling's always troublesome, and they have a limited market appeal. I can't really think of anyone I'd re-gift them too as well. Others are senimental/based on in-jokes, which makes selling them or regifting them odd.
On the one hand, I think it may just be practical for me to give them to him anyway. Sure, some of the sentimental stuff might be awkward, and he could toss any or all of the presents upon receipt. However, there's no point in MY keeping of them, and the fact that they've cost me good money makes me unable to toss them myself. The slightly immature and spiteful part of me feels that it could potentially also be a "hah, this is what you have missed!" message.
On the other hand, I really don't feel as though he deserves the presents anymore. I do honestly think that his reasons for the break-up, while understandable, are still incredibly selfish. He also picked the worst possible time to drop the bombshell on me, and I do feel rather disgruntled by how all he's done is add to my stress when I've been doing my best to support him during his times of stress.
Thoughts?
My LDR boyfriend and I called it quits last week, after about 1.5 years LDR and 6 months CDR before that. We've both been having stress-filled periods in our lives, with many more such weeks to come - possibly one of the reasons why we broke up in the end. I have been trying to organise a trip to his country for December as part of our "let us meet twice a year" plan, but the nature of my job is such that I would not be able to fully confirm that I would be going until about one or two weeks before the actual trip. Nonetheless, I told the ex about my plans, hoping to give him something to look forward to. I also urged him to carry on with some travel plans he had with his friends, saying that I would match my schedule with his. (I had lived in his country before, so I had plenty of old sights I wanted to visit and activities I wanted to do too.)
Instead, he told me that the stress of an LDR was too much for him. In particular, he resented how my planned trip and the uncertainty thereof meant that he felt that he could no longer commit to the travel plans he had made with his friends. He also said that he wanted to travel the world instead of always spending what holidays he did have visiting my country. When I expressed that I was willing to use up all my vacation leave to visit him twice a year instead, he told me that two week-long visits a year was insufficient for him.
Needless to say, I feel absolutely gutted by his having ended the relationship. However, I'm also feeling more than a little unhappy at how all my efforts at trying to make the relationship work have basically been thrown back at my face, and cited as the reason for the break up.
The Christmas gifts:
Unfortunately, the break up happened pretty much just after I had finally gotten all his Christmas gifts, and now I can't decide what I ought to do with these presents.
Some of the gifts are too expensive for platonic friends (which we're now supposed to be, although that's rather awkward). However, there seems to be little point trying to sell them, because selling's always troublesome, and they have a limited market appeal. I can't really think of anyone I'd re-gift them too as well. Others are senimental/based on in-jokes, which makes selling them or regifting them odd.
On the one hand, I think it may just be practical for me to give them to him anyway. Sure, some of the sentimental stuff might be awkward, and he could toss any or all of the presents upon receipt. However, there's no point in MY keeping of them, and the fact that they've cost me good money makes me unable to toss them myself. The slightly immature and spiteful part of me feels that it could potentially also be a "hah, this is what you have missed!" message.
On the other hand, I really don't feel as though he deserves the presents anymore. I do honestly think that his reasons for the break-up, while understandable, are still incredibly selfish. He also picked the worst possible time to drop the bombshell on me, and I do feel rather disgruntled by how all he's done is add to my stress when I've been doing my best to support him during his times of stress.
Thoughts?
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