My SO and I were together from my birthday (Sept 5), to September 15. It was our first meeting. It was magical, like a fantasy come to life.
Thursday night, I got home from 5 weeks in Tucson with my SO (I left October 3). My son was with me (we had to get out of our home for personal reasons - this was an unplanned trip, but my SO offered us a place to stay, and I'm sure not going to turn that down), his first time traveling in his life. It was a bit less fantasy like, we both had our boys, he had to work, we didn't have nearly enough time together, but still, I wouldn't trade it for anything. We also saw that we can make it through the harder times. We did have some incredible moments. Some of the most special of my life.
But now I'm home. And boy do I feel empty. I cried from Tucson to Salt Lake City where a girlfriend I've known online for over 8 years stood me up. (Grrrr.) I sure wouldn't have taken a 4 hour layover with a toddler had I a clue she would do that. It wasn't the first time she's screwed me over, but it will be the last. Anyway, when the plane touched down at our home airport, my heart just sank. Back to gtalk. Back to a phone call here and there. How did I ever end up in another LDR? At least this time it's in the same country.
My son, his son, and he himself all hit it off wonderfully. A very good thing. Things feel so different this time. It's a very different dynamic. I like it.
I just wonder how to get past this sinking empty feeling. I know what to do when I'm drowning in sadness. I learned that last time. But this time, while my heart aches for him, this empty feeling is new. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. I'm keeping busy. It's weird. I've never had this.
I miss him so much. I hate coming home. The good news is that we are planning to move there within a year, if all the pieces land as they should.
It doesn't feel like a new relationship I guess, due to our 4 year very close friendship. It's like we got to fast forward. I missed the people here, and of course my dogs, but gosh it's hard not having him with me now.
I've been friends with guys before I've dated them before, but never this close of a friend, for so long. Sure makes a difference.
Anyways I'm just rambling, and I guess looking for any supportive words. I don't know when I'll see him next, but it will be several months. Sad face!
Thursday night, I got home from 5 weeks in Tucson with my SO (I left October 3). My son was with me (we had to get out of our home for personal reasons - this was an unplanned trip, but my SO offered us a place to stay, and I'm sure not going to turn that down), his first time traveling in his life. It was a bit less fantasy like, we both had our boys, he had to work, we didn't have nearly enough time together, but still, I wouldn't trade it for anything. We also saw that we can make it through the harder times. We did have some incredible moments. Some of the most special of my life.
But now I'm home. And boy do I feel empty. I cried from Tucson to Salt Lake City where a girlfriend I've known online for over 8 years stood me up. (Grrrr.) I sure wouldn't have taken a 4 hour layover with a toddler had I a clue she would do that. It wasn't the first time she's screwed me over, but it will be the last. Anyway, when the plane touched down at our home airport, my heart just sank. Back to gtalk. Back to a phone call here and there. How did I ever end up in another LDR? At least this time it's in the same country.
My son, his son, and he himself all hit it off wonderfully. A very good thing. Things feel so different this time. It's a very different dynamic. I like it.
I just wonder how to get past this sinking empty feeling. I know what to do when I'm drowning in sadness. I learned that last time. But this time, while my heart aches for him, this empty feeling is new. I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. I'm keeping busy. It's weird. I've never had this.
I miss him so much. I hate coming home. The good news is that we are planning to move there within a year, if all the pieces land as they should.
It doesn't feel like a new relationship I guess, due to our 4 year very close friendship. It's like we got to fast forward. I missed the people here, and of course my dogs, but gosh it's hard not having him with me now. I've been friends with guys before I've dated them before, but never this close of a friend, for so long. Sure makes a difference.
Anyways I'm just rambling, and I guess looking for any supportive words. I don't know when I'll see him next, but it will be several months. Sad face!
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