I cant believe this just happened........

[Caitlin2009]

Lately Denise's parents have been on her ass about me, coming here, moving, ect and well up until recently they were nice people and Denise was very close to them, but lately and a few months ago they started getting on her ass about everything and even going as far as telling her that she was a screw up, reminding her of her past mistakes ect, they went from very supportive of her to constantly emotionally abusing her and trying to get her to do what they wanted which was cancel the trip to come see me and stuff. And today was the straw that broke the camel's back, the past couple of days she has told me the stuff they have said to her which sent me into protective mode and while i didnt say anything to her mom directly, her mom is on my facebook page as well and i wrote out things that she saw which were about how i wouldnt put up with anybody hurting the woman i love, how i cant wait to finally move, i was fed up with this shit, ect. and her mom saw that and left a message on Denise's wall basically saying they cut her out of there life. I didnt want Denise to read that when she went to the library to go on the internet, so i phoned her up and said what her mom wrote out, and i've never heard her so upset in my life and i kinda feel(even though she said its not) like its my fault, If I didnt come into her life non of this would be happening!!! I feel so incredibly bad, i didnt want that to ever happen because i know how close she was to them!!!! thoughts? advice? anybody

[*Georgia Peach*]

First off, I am so sorry that this is happening to you guys. I have fears of messing up my SO's relationship with her parents. It's a big fear of mine. You're welcome to PM me anytime. I'm on here a lot. Hope things work out.

[DropkickDisco]

honestly I can't say I've really been in the exact situation that you are right now, but I can say that absolutely NONE of this is your fault! I'm sure Denise knows this and doesn't blame you either. as for her parents, well, honestly they don't matter. this isn't yours, Denise's and her parents' relationship. it's yours and Denise's. although I understand that them being complete asses doesn't help you guys, it really does not matter what they think. if they could so easily cut their daughter out of their life over something like this, I think that says WAY more about them than it ever could about you or Denise.

I really hope things work out for you and that maybe I was any help at all.

[Caitlin2009]

She doesnt blame me at all, and basically said almost the same thing as you did. but i cant help but feel really horrible about it, anything that affects her affects me as well and when she got extremely upset over what i told her what her mom said.....she let out a scream that ive never heard from her before and it took me a little while to fully calm her down and its something i'll never forget, and when something like this happens i just wanna fix it but knowing i cant it really bothers me but i also know its something that her parents have to decide if they wanna fix or not, im hoping before we move in July that things will get patched up and fixed, because i know how close she was to them and i just want them to at least apologize to her.

[DropkickDisco]

I definitely can understand why you feel bad. I would too. I'm sorry that all this is going on, it must be incredibly stressful. do you know if there's any reason why they went from being supportive to just flat out emotionally abusive?

[Caitlin2009]

i have no idea!!! I think its mainly because of jelously....because she's most likely gonna get to do what she's always wanted to do which is stand up and becoming an actress, and they never got to do what they wanted to do in life so they are taking it out on her. Everything was fine up until she told them she was gonna become a stand up comedian and move to the states and then it all went down hill after that, but they would go back and forth to being supportive and when they had a bad day they would take it out on her and be emotionally abusive, and for the past couple of days this week they would call her up on the phone and for whatever reason talk about what a fuck up she was and all her mistakes shes done in the past, ok we all make mistakes in our past nobody is fucking perfect but she is far from a fuck up!! In my opinion she is my hero cause she has survived everything that has been thrown at her and survived people that hurt her in the past, she is stronger then she thinks she is any other person with all that she has gone through probably wouldnt have survived it! So i know they are full of shit and i'll be damned if try and hurt her more, she's been through enough of that

[DropkickDisco]

you would think they would WANT their daughter to get to pursue her dreams and live up to her full potential. people sure don't make sense sometimes.. I can definitely tell that you love her a lot though. she's very lucky to have someone as supportive as you. and you're right, nobody is perfect or even close to it. if they're making a point to call her JUST to bitch and moan about her mistakes then they sure sound more like 13 year old, middle school bullies than parents. I know you said she was close to them but damn.. if I was her I would've ended up snapping and someone would've gotten kicked in the head.

[LadyMarchHare]

Don't blame yourself. Chances are if it wasn't with you, it would be with someone else or just her for the sake her parents are letting petty bitterness get to them. Good for her that she's pursuing an acting career, it's a VERY hard career path to follow and she'll need all the support she can get from friends and you since her parents seem to have taken on a less-than-mature tone. I'm sorry she's being put through that and you were right in barking in her mom's general direction. Had it been me I would have been direct, but that's because I'm terribly possessive and protective of my loved ones. I wanted to murder my SO's ex-best friend when she hurt him but she was a coward and blocked me nearly everywhere but Facebook where she had only de-friended me. Reamed her as much as the message system allowed and let it be.

So they officially disowned her? That's a bit much. Exactly what are they going to do? Even if not, I'd screencap that message and save it because stuff like that you can take to court in a dispute matter. All the same, neither of you are at fault in any manner. If anything you're liberating her of these people to a certain degree if not entirely and replacing that hurt with love. Be her crutch in this time and make sure all those reminders of her past fall on deaf ears. The past cannot be changed, it's like reading a book. You've already read the pages and can't go back because they're stuck together now so you can't write over the text or tear out a page. All you can do is keep reading. Yesterday doesn't define next week in terms of choices. Deciding to eat carrots today will not mean you will eat carrots tomorrow because you had them once. Mistakes don't make you who you are, they don't define you. So her parents are stupid for thinking they could take her down with the same trick over and over when she has someone to grab her hand before she falls.

[Caitlin2009]

Trust me i would have done it directly if she wanted me to, and the message that her mom left on there i was very tempted but she told me not to. I was just so fucking fed up with the fact that they call her up just to bitch her out for no fucking reason and make her upset! I'm very protective of her, and if anybody makes her upset it pisses me off, especially if they do what they did! And im lucky to have her in my life as well because i know she would do the same for me if i was in her shoes, and i love her with all my heart and soul and it breaks my heart that she's going through this right now because i know right now she's heartbroken and it will be awhile before she heals and hopefully i can help with that. As for officially disowning her i dunno, she basically said "your free have a good life" which to me sounds like disownment, and im hoping its not that. I hope its just no talking to each other for a few months but we'll see time will tell

[xsomanymilesx]

her parents, for some reason, are acting like d*cks
facebook is a tricky thing, cause whatever you vent, everyone can see
appriciated you were upset at the time, but in the long run it will just cause more trouble
you and denise be the bigger people - dont react , it will shock them. they are obviously feeding off the reaction of your SO getting upset.
good luck with everything, dont let people get in the way - if they are trying to get in the way of her happiness, they are probably not worth having at all.

[Caitlin2009]

well im not one to sit back and let someone hurt the love of my life, i wont stand for it and i will react to it if i see it! With this i think were both gonna let them have there little temper tantrum and if they want to talk to her they know her number

[LadyMarchHare]

My take on that is the one who doesn't need to react is her since she's the one they're after. You, however, you're free to go for the jugular. It probably just makes them mad to know she has someone to defend her and counter their snarky remarks.

[DropkickDisco]

I agree with you two. I think you had every right to get angry and react because you love her. I think it'd be more wrong if you DIDN'T react because it would definitely mean you don't care as much. chances are no matter if you reacted or not, they'd still be kinda dicks about it.

[Swederica]

Ohh that do resemble a bit to what i had to go through wuth my mom and my stepfather.

I understand that you feel bad, even if you shouldn't. My SO felt really bad for a couple of days for what i had to go through.
But just remember that you actually haven't done anything. It's not your fault and it's not Denise's fault. It's her parents fault altogether.
So try, i know it's hard, to comfort yourself with that thought.

[Caitlin2009]

thanks everybody, here's the funny thing when i called her on the phone today she had just finished talking to her mom on the phone(she decided to call her after all) and she was in a pissy mood because her mom said she meant what she said and wasent gonna apologize for it, then not even 10 minutes into talking to Denise her mom texted her and said "me and your dad have been talking and your right we do owe you an apology" lol so for now everything is cool which is awesome