First days alone... The countdown begins.

[chibij14]

My SO and I have lived together for about as long as we've known each other (6-7 months), and this Thursday (11/29) we're flying down to FL where I'm sending him home and meeting his family for the first time. I'll be there until Sunday (12/2), but just looking for advice since this will all be a lot for me to endure over the next few days plus visiting and leaving him in FL.

I've already cried a few times this weekend realizing I have less than 5 days, so please be kind with your words.

By the way, I'm a single mom too so I do have a little 2 1/2 year-old to look after so I'll be strong for him but just need an idea of what to expect. I also would love advice on how best to conduct myself to keep my SO happy... He will be very busy when he gets home training for his last shot at making the NFL, but he mentioned this weekend knowing he will miss us and it will hit him probably after I've gone home. He's been like a father to my son and he has no kids so this was very eye-opening to him. He said we're like family to him... He's 28 and I'm 26.

Thanks, in advance!

[nomnom_elf]

first off i sympathize with you as i too lived together with my SO for a year before becoming LD. i would strongly suggest that you make some good memories before the day arrives; such as having a family day out with your SO and little one but also try and find some alone time by getting a babysitter.

it will be hard- if you've sort of sunk into a routine for home it'll show when your OH goes. Little things such as the bed being empty on one side.... doing the laudry.... also with your little one if he is able to talk no doubt he'll ask where your partner has gone. U mention about being strong for him, and this is important. Try and explain to him as best possible the reasons for the LDR. If you can webcam occasionally invite your son into them so he can see your OH. There will be dark days where you really miss your SO and perhaps unintentially take it out on people. Don't fret and think too much on it; try and surround yourself with supportive friends and maybe reconnect with those you haven't seen in a while. keep the mind busy.

i try and say this in as general terms as possible. i do not have a child of my own; but i have seen enough to know a child can pick up on things an adult tries to hide. I did not realize how much i missed of our co-habitat lifestyle til i went back for a visit and started doing our usual routine; i burst into tears.

I am sure you'll be fine for meeting his family. Take flowers for your SO's parents, always a nice and poliete guesture. I am sure they'll love your lil boy too! In terms of keeping your SO happy- only you and they can decide best how to do that. I will suggest however that if you both have hotmail email accounts create a shared webspace. Me and my SO have one and i've uploaded all our "together" pics and pics taken of our days out when i go to visit. He likes looking at them when feeling low.

[chibij14]

Thank you, nomnom_elf! It's reassuring to know that someone else has been through this and much harder since the two of you have been together for double the time. I sure will try to stay positive and make great memories over these next few days, and try not to cry so much. It's just hard when I know how much it will hurt being away from him but I'm glad we are attempting to visit each other once a month. In fact, my first visit is already planned for 12/28-01/01. It's only about 4/5 days but better than nothing, and it's only 3 weeks and 4 days from the time I get back from this initial visit - Not too shabby!

Yes, I worry about how I will no longe be making extravagent dinners, doing extra laundry, or having his help with my son. As for the trip, we're planning on leaving him with my mom during that time so that my SO and I can have our time to ourselves. During our time away, Skype will definitely be part of the plan plus I told him to make me challenges to complete by the end of the month before I visit. He is very healthy and in great shape since he's trying to get in the NFL, and I have a lot of baby weight still so I thought checking in each week to gauge my progress for the month-end challenge will be fun for both of us. 1. He will get a chance to be proud of me and push me toward my goal, which he loves doing stuff like that. 2. I will get to connect with him in a way that benefits my health and a way for us to be closer. I actually posed it that we both have a goal and try to meet it by the time we see each other, again... so I hope this will be good for us.

I agree that I need to be mindful of how this will make my son feel because I'm sure I will have some rough days. My mom said, since I live with her, that she will try to do a lot of activities with me like preparing our house all month for a Christmas open house and even painting my son's room for his present. I have to paint my room as well so that's at least a few days of the week that I can focus, plus the mural I want to paint on one wall will take a least a week. Your idea for keeping the time busy with my own things is great advice and I think will serve me well for getting stuff done instead of moping.

I planned on baking their favorite cookies to take when we go home but flowers seem like such a sweet gesture, too. I may have to do both. Thanks, hun!