Hey all I am new to this as you will see on my profile...I have a few questions of course what I need to know is my girl is 307 miles away from me and we've been seeing each other for about three months. I thought things were going great until last Thursday she dropped a bomb on me..she stated that she didn't feel an emotional connection and that she didn't think that things were gonna last the long term. I talked to her about it and she told me that she did in fact feel a connection just when we were together not a part...I knew she didn't like this long distance relationship and she does have a job trial up where I live in a few weeks...should I hang onto this relationship?
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First off welcome to the site. Second, I think we all feel that we don't have a very strong emotional connection to our partners when we are apart, it's hard to have that same connection as you do in person. So I definitely know where you're coming from. If both of you are committed to making this relationship work and you both like each other enough to put in the hard work, you should hang on to the relationship for sure! However, if you both aren't in this journey together in getting through the times apart and not being able to see one another,then you all have a decision ahead of you if you are BOTH up to the challenges of an LDR
Hope this advice helps somewhat. Feel free to PM me if you ever need a chat x
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It's very common for people to feel like they're falling apart relationship-wise because of the distance. It's a very hard thing to keep up and it's very stressful because people rely heavily on physical presence and things such as touching, kissing, etc. If you're able to have the connection in person, then I would say it's worth hanging on to because the distance is not forever and there's always visits before you end the distance for good.Comment
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Awesome on both responses thank you so much! I am gonna be persistent with this she says that there might not be anything in the long-term but she is gonna keep trying because I am gonna keep trying...she told me also that she loves me..but not in the way that she's loved other guys...she loves me in a selfish way...I told her that its okay to love someone in a selfish way because that's how it all starts out...did I do the right thing?Comment
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What does she mean..loves you in a selfish way? I'm sorry to say but it seems to me like she already has a lot against the whole LDR :/Comment
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What I mean is like instead of feeling love where you want the best for the one you love the love she feels is one that she wants to do better by loving me for herself not for me. I am just quoting what she said..Comment
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Well right now I think as long as it's not hurting the relationship (i.e. jealousy, control issues) then that's just something you two can work on together as time goes by and the love grows. I don't think all love is selfless, or at least entirely so anyway. You can want the best for them, but in the end you still want them and you want them to be with YOU.Comment
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That's exactly what I told her! I have great news!! I found out that she is moving one hour away from where I live! I am hoping that this will help out our relationship! We have been struggling with this due to the fact neither of us are very good at conversing for long periods of time on the phone I mean we can do it for a little while but these past few months have strained it a bit. Thank you everyone for your advice on the questions I've had...now another question...know of any good romantic ideas to help spark our relationship again now that we will be able to see each other on almost daily basis?Comment
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Romantic ideas. Let's see.
1. picnic complete with strawberries
2. take her to a nice dinner
3. romantic bath complete with candles (if you are comfortable with it)
4. go for walks
5. stand in the gentle rain (not a downpour) and tell her how you feel then kiss her.Comment
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Well some new developments hit tonight...one of her co-workers asked her out the last night she has in California before she moves to where I am at. She told me that she accepted his date and will be going on it she also said that if anyone asks her out she will go on a case by case basis depending she said she's still willing to work on our relationship but if that's true why is she doing this? It makes no sense to me.Comment
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She's going on a date with someone, yet she's still with you? That doesn't make sense, you need to talk to her. You don't go on dates when you're in a relationship, I don't care if they want to call it casual or 'as friends'. It's a date. She shouldn't have even considered it, much less said yes. Talk to her. That isn't being willing to work on the relationship, that's a form of cheating.Originally posted by HomerT62 View PostComment
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You really need to talk to her. Unless you are in non-monagamous LDR then...well she shouldn't be going on a date with anyone else! It's still cheating. He asked her out, which means not just as friends so what?? Yes talk to her!Comment
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Looks like she's dating to see if there's something better out there. Otherwise she would concentrate on you and the relationship. So yes, definitely talk to her. You should not have to put up with such a behavior.Comment
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I've spent the last few days with her she moved up here...the date I believe didn't go well she didn't bring it up and when she moved up here for her job near me we talked...we are dating but not exclusively. From what I understand she will date as long as she is asked out. The last few days we spent together were lovely we worked on our relationship and I helped her find a place to live near her work. She starts work tomorrow and so she asked me since we have spent the last 5 days basically never apart so she wanted some space for a few days. Hopefully I will hear from her soon thank you all for your advice and your support. I am very thankful for it.
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I can't tell you what to do if you agreed to the open relationship but I still don't get the point of people doing that. Perhaps I'm old-fashioned in believing a relationship means ONE person gets your romantic attention, not one and some folks on the side.Comment
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