Does your SO know you use this site?

[shootingstar]

So I've been thinking about telling my SO when I talk to him that I found this site and Its helped me a lot. I know hes worried about how I'm holding up, but I'm kind of scared hes going to think its stupid. Or say something like "why do you need to talk to strangers about our relationship when you can just talk to me." So basically im wondering if you have or haven't told you SO and why/why not and what their reaction was if you told them!

[Reglisse]

I haven't.. not because I'm trying hide it in any way, it's just not his kind of thing. I just see this as a nice place for me to get some support and feel like I'm not the only one in the world struggling with this distance thing.

If you want to tell him you should, I don't see how it would be a problem. Of course you should be able to talk to him about what's on your mind, but getting some objective perspective from others in the same situation is just healthy I think..

[Travey]

So I've been thinking about telling my SO when I talk to him that I found this site and Its helped me a lot. I know hes worried about how I'm holding up, but I'm kind of scared hes going to think its stupid. Or say something like "why do you need to talk to strangers about our relationship when you can just talk to me." So basically im wondering if you have or haven't told you SO and why/why not and what their reaction was if you told them!

Just like anything else in life, we can always use an outside perspective to help us engage any problems or concerns in life. My SO found this site and told me about it. We both use it and we both fully understand why we use it. She has her own concerns about our LDR because we both want it to succeed. Especially now that we met each other and spent a lot of time together in person, not just online. I don't take it personally when she has a concern because I'd rather know she voiced her concern and found a solution, rather than not saying it and it being a larger problem.

I'm kind of curious why you imagine he would think it's stupid? We aren't just strangers in the common term. We're all a group of people who share something very deep in common. This site isn't just about "fixing problems". It's about inspiring other couples through example and history, showing people that you can make it work until you can be together. That is what my SO and I get out of this. I love just reading other success stories and knowing that I, too, found love and made it happen so I can hopefully inspire others to feel as we do. I think if you explain it to him that this is a positive support site and not a "I have a problem. What do I do now?" site, he may better understand what this place is. Sure, problems may come up and you can choose to ask advice or seek it out with a real life friend. Either way, everyone has a friend here that can offer support. Think of it that way.

[snow_girl]

https://members.lovingfromadistance....s-your-SO-know

[lademoiselle]

Mine knows I'm on an LDR forum but I've never told him its name (I'm pretty sure he's figured it out by now though ). Forums aren't my SO's thing but I talk to him about this one quite often to be honest, to ask his opinion on a thread, to tell him about what's happening with the members I'm closest to etc. On the subject of which, while we all began as strangers I couldn't imagine my life without some of the friends I've made here now! I don't think there's any harm in letting your SO know about this part of your life - it's no less valid than any other part after all

[Alle1770]

My SO knows I'm on here, I told him about this site a couple of months back and just said exactly as it is, that I think it's a great place to get support, ideas and share experiences, just like you would in a "normal" relationship, only then you'd probably talk to your friends and stuff that are in the same situation. He just took it well, said it was a "girl thing" for some reason xD But he was just happy I'd found a place that brings some comfort whenever he's not here

[Spriteling]

My SO knows I read/occasionally participate in a forum about LDRs. She didn't really have an opinion on it; she was just like "meh, okay". She's not really a forum person and I also explicitly asked her not to go looking for this place. I doubt your SO will think it's stupid, in any case.

[stephanieaz]

I told my fiance about it and he even signed up for an account, but he's not active or anything. I was a little worried about telling him at first, for some of the same reasons you are (he'd think it was stupid or weird). It turned out fine. He was supportive and I think glad, that I found a place where I can get inspiration, support, or just talk about LDRs in general. We sometimes even talk about threads that I see on here.

[Belle]

My SO knows and he even joined for a bit before his computer broke a while back. He likes all the kool ideas i get from here and understands that this is a nice forum for solidarity. It doesnt replace your time, talks or sharing with your SO.

[kiara_silver]

Yep he knows.... knew all along and i didn't know, but I had mentioned things I read from it in the past, and he said I gave him a link to the main site which led him to here. But he knows its somewhere I can vent or relate, and it helps me stay sane with being in a LDR. Sometimes I just need to let out my thoughts.

[lyonsgirl]

I talk about some of the members on here that I've gotten to know better like we've met IRL. He doesn't mind that I'm on here-and honestly sometimes I think he's grateful that I have someone else to complain to. I've told him that with all of the super serious stuff I always tell him first, and then seriously think about it before I post on here. But the stupid stuff? (like how much I miss him right now, or in 5 seconds, or 10 minutes ago...) I know he's glad I have another outlet and basically a support group that's helping me get through it. But... I haven't told him what it's called because I don't want him on here. (Although he's expressed that he doesn't have interest in it.)

[Dezface]

He knows but I've never told him the name of the site. I tell him all kinds of stuff that goes on here! BUT I also know he's an internet sleuth so I'm like 90% sure he knows exactly what site it is and has potentially even found me on here. So Luke if you read this-fess up. haha

[rubydissolution]

He does. He actually wondered why I belonged to a forum for LDRs when me and him are CD. I kindly explained that I joined this site when I was with my ex, who lived 3000 miles away from me. Once I was over it I came back to the forum bc I love the community here. He was relieved. I guess he had (for a second) the thought that I was cheating.

[efish1042]

He's seen it and he's seen me on it, so he knows that I'm on here, but we don't talk about it. Not for any reason, it's just the way it is.

[Adora]

Nope, I want something just for me if that doesnt sound too selfish, if he was on here too I might not be as completely honest as I have been