Break Up Advice!

[allbymysmelf]

So any advice please. Me and my boyfriend have been apart for a year, and im finally moving back to my own country where i will be wit him. But its got to the point for us were we were fighting every night because long distance is so hard. However, last night we broke up due to the fighting. We both love each other very much, well at least i know I do. And he spoke about marriage and moving in together etc so I assume he loves me too. I thought maybe this break would be just a phase, but im scared he wont want me when im back. If anybody has advice that would be great, also in what I should do, should I keep talking to him, or just cut off communication for a week or so. Anyways, thanks all.

[OrKing]

Is there anyway you can try and contact him and sort this out before you get there? I assume so since you said you could keep talking to him if you wished. I would do that personally, I would much rather know what I'm going back to before I actually got there. From what you've said it sounds like the distance has just got the best of you two and the stress has caused tension and trouble between you. That shouldn't really be a problem now that your going back to your country and him, if the pair of you truly love each other that should be more of a problem solved. The occurring frustration of a LDR sounds like it's coming to an end for you two, this should be a time for you guys to be at your best and most hopeful, not your worst. So firstly, does he know your finally returning to the country?

[allbymysmelf]

Yeah, he knows. It really has been a struggle. We did talk on skype this morning and it was just a huge mess.

[kacie]

Can you email him, telling him how you feel, letting him know what you would like to happen when you are back together, it's up to him then if he feels the same way

[OrKing]

I'm sorry, that must be pretty damn bad. The worst me and Melissa have ever had is an hour or so of coldness every blue moon and that's only when things are really bugging us and they've always turned out for the better. I would slowly and calmly try to sort out what's been bothering the two of you, if the issue is still there and both of you know your soon to be physically together than it's probably a little more than just the distance that's bothering the two of you. In your situation I would ask him what's been bothering him, or tell him what's been bothering you. It has always worked for me and Melissa, but if that doesn't work and the two of you are too frustrated to have a calm talk about it maybe some time apart (ironic, I know) is for the best to help each of you understand what you truly want without the influence of each other. Me and Melissa often wrote in text the things we wanted to really tell each other but couldn't face to face, that may help you guys if you can't talk it through as well. That's pretty much all I have to suggest with what little I know, I really do hope you guys get through this.

[Hololz]

I agree that you deserve to know where you stand when you return. Unfortunately it may not be worth getting back together until the distance is over, becuase it might be easier to talk about things face to face, but it is something you both need to discuss. Personally, I would set a date with him to talk over skype/phone (fairly soon - give it a couple of days or so) and during this time, both gather your thoughts so that they can be talked about rationally. Also, cut each other some slack when you're disscussing it and try and put things into perspective i.e. what are the REAL problems and which are the petty ones. Let the petty ones go. Good luck!

[temporaryuser]

the distance only ends to exagerrate underlying issues. Try to get to the bottom of what the problem is to begin with, and go from there
Write an email and put the issues out there. You will have time to think about what you are writing instead of blurting out something hurtful. Then give him the time to digest what you said and ask the same of him.
Then have a mature discussion of what the issues are/were from both sides.
being close together doesnt mean the underlying issues go away