Need a little insight.

[jomiscli]

Ok so earlier today me and my girl were chatting via Skype. I have had some money issues lately and I haven't been able to eat certain meals in the day, namely breakfast and lunch (no pity I work at a restaurant so I get my fill at dinner). Anyways my girl knows this and is always worried about it. When were were chatting she asked me if I ate breakfast and I said no. Then she said "eat, ok?" and stopped messaging. I got a little frustrated and impatient I wrote back to her "Well just email me when you want to play or Skype ok, I'll just go back to sleep".

Well she got upset at that. She said I snapped at her.

My question is, was what I said snapping or rude? Things like that seem to really hurt her feelings and I have been trying to stop, and have for the most part, but sometimes I slip and it ruins an entire day. THIS KILLS ME.

How can I stop myself from doing that?

[ThePiedPiper]

I don't believe it's so much the phrase as it is the context it was said in. Have you explained that your reasons for not eating are due to financial reasons and that you're unable to afford bringing food home, that you appreciate her concern but it's difficult for you when it's something you can't change and it causes so much tension? It sounds more like you both got a little frustrated and upset and therefore you said something menial that came off with bite and she was already feeling sensitive so took it to heart. I don't know if there's any way to stop yourself from doing it, though. We all snap/get upset sometimes and do things we don't entirely mean to, or sometimes our partners and friends (even family!) take things the wrong way because of the space they're in. I think the better way to approach this would be to talk to her about how you both should deal with it when it happens. My ex used to take menial things and stretch them for hours (he'd use going to bed as a way of "punishing" me also, so it could be that it was the threat of you going to bed because of what she said that did it... Did you try to re-spark the conversation?). There were times I wouldn't even know I'd done something wrong and he wouldn't want to talk about it or his "day/night would be ruined" or he'd ignore me for 3 hours before coming back and would ignore me again if I tried to discuss saying he "thought he was ready to talk but turned out to be wrong." While your SO might not be this stubborn, over-sensitivity can sometimes become a problem. I would say so long as she's open to communicating about more effective ways to handle it, you'll both be okay, but you can't continuously tip-toe around one another either. I see this as falling on her shoulders as much as your own, and I think you both need to talk to each other about what you can do when those things happen to prevent it from ruining an entire day.

[Lucky]

I also think that maybe she doesn't understand that you simply don't have a choice in the matter at the moment of how many meals you get a day besides dinner. Be clear that you are getting enough food for the day so she doesn't worry.

If you are NOT getting enough food though and she notices you are starting to look unhealthy she has a very good reason to worry, make it clear it is just temporary and your food intake will soon rise, make an effort to buy at least something cheap but healthy like nuts and dried fruit or a protein bar, I don't know what kind of things are cheap where you live.

Like Piper said, in the context it did sound like you snapped, she made a suggestion with a question mark so she was probably waiting for some reassurance as a reply, such as "don't worry, I will soon" or something among those lines and that is the reason she stopped messaging you, she was waiting for your reply and what she gets instead is you sounding hurt and depressed... it was not rude but it probably made her worry even more.

They say it's a woman's job to worry and I must admit I am guilty of it, it's only natural specially if it's someone you care about... an example, my love sounded very tired one night so I suggested he goes to bed early thinking he had a long day, day after that, he sneezes and I ask if he has a cold and if he has vitamins on hand to avoid it since it sounds like he might be getting one, he says "no I am fine it was just some dust" next day his roommate starts sneezing and his co-workers have a runny nose and all so after hearing this I worry and before I can ask him if he took some medicine he lets me know he already did just in case he is also taking the vitamins, I feel relieved, end of story.

[Jgui]

You mentioned she knows why you're skipping meals, but does she really understand how serious the financial situation is? Sometimes people look at some things less because they aren't the one involved in the situation so to her, she might not see it being as big as a deal as you do (your situation). I would have a heart-to-heart with her and explain that you didn't mean for the words to come out the way it did. I'm sure she was just being concerned about you. The thing with emailing/texting is one can't determine the actual tone being used. She feels you snapped at her which caused her to become upset. But you may have just sent that email with none of the snappy and rude intentions.

[jomiscli]

Well I'll just have to be conscious about my context. She never snaps at me, ever. I don't know why I snap at her like that.