need advice

[lissla]

hi everyone,

so at the moment I am in Australia with my boyfriend, and have been here for the past 2 months, he lives here and I am from Canada.

I was planning on going home for Christmas but we haven't booked any flights yet and they are getting very expensive. I'm not sure what to do.

I am really big on holidays and miss my family terribly and would love to spend it with them but I'm not sure if it is worth it because I would be planning to come back here after for a couple of months. I also have an Aunt who works for the airlines so I can fly cheaper for about $400 I could go home and come back for the holidays but its not guaranteed I would get on if the flights are very busy. I did want my boyfriend to come with me tho and if he does it is alot more for him the tickets are anywhere from 2100 +.

He has the money if I really want to do this but I don't know anymore.... he could use it for alot of other things and I know its selfish but going home for christmas means everything to me... its my first time away from home without my family for so long and I miss them alot... I would go back without him for a week maybe but I'm not sure how long I would have to stay home because the flights are all really full soooo just not sure what to do at the moment I could use some people advice

Have any of you spent christmas away from your family? With someone elses... I know his family but not too well and just miss home

Also my mom is already really upset that I've been here for this long and expects me home :S

I have no idea what to do :/

[MadMolly]

Are you there for work or just staying on a long tourist trip? Did you move there to be with your boyfriend, or did you meet him in Australia?

Sadly this is just what happens in a long-distance relationship. People grow up and live in all sorts of places in the world away from their family, it's sad but if this guy is gonna be with you for the long-haul, one of you will miss out on family christmases every year. If I were you, I'd just stay in Australia because it's a ton of money if you're just going to return and you've only been in Aussie for 2 months. You could get your family to Skype with you on their Christmas day and it might help you feel part of the celebrations?

[lissla]

I'm here to visit him so pretty much a vacation, I was planning to start working after the new year and we met online... my parents seem to think I'm never coming home tho so im not sure if i should go just to make them feel better :/

[Riyko]

Honestly if you want to go, go! If you miss your family be with them , you'll be going back to see your boyfriend anyways (if he chooses not to go with). Also non rev flying oh how much i love it (because it makes flying cheaper than normal), but at the same time how much i hate it (if the flights are full you have to wait for the next one and it sucks even more if it isn't a non stop flight because if you get stuck at a stop in between you have to sleep in the airport for how ever long it takes to get on a plane unless you know someone who lives in one of the connection cities).

[charly]

I wouldn't go. It really is a lot of money, and if the two of you are going to be together longer, there will be a lot of holidays you miss. This year is the first year I'll spend christmas and new years eve at my boyfriend parents. I thought about that decision for more than a month, but decided to go because he makes me so happy, and I want to spend these special days with him. Maybe a chance for you to get to know his family better? Ofcourse, if you really miss your mom (I don't know your relationship..), maybe you should go.

Make a little list with the pro's and con's. Who do you want to see at Christmas morning? Why? Is it only because your mom expects you? Can you visit later (end of january, when flights are more cheap).

Good luck!

[Zephii]

I wouldn't go. It's a massive waste of money to fly at Christmas unless you book well in advance, and besides that, if you and he stay together you're going to have to spend Christmas with his family some years. That's just how it goes.
I know how hard it is to have the family pressure, people always asking "when are you coming home?" (that doesn't ever change, even if you give them a date you are coming home!) and the guilt trips.. but you really have to do whats best for yourself and your relationship.

In answer to your question, yes, I've spent Christmas with someone else's family, not able to contact mine much. The first time I visited my SO in Canada, I stayed over Christmas, and I couldn't even call home at the time In the end I had a blast and I learnt sooo much about him and his people. And I got my first white Christmas.

This year is actually the second year in a row we've been in Australia for Christmas, and the only reason we're not in Canada is because our newborn can't fly yet. I feel blessed to get to be with my people and not freezing my balls off two years running But it's about balance. It's how LDRs work, even when they aren't LD anymore.

[snow_girl]

I'm not going home for Christmas I'll be spending it with my SO and his family. I will probably skype with my family sometime during Christmas day and say hello but my mom realizes that I am not a child anymore and I don't need to be home on Christmas to do the whole thing every year.

[US2CAN]

Be forward with them and don't look back on making a decision. There is always a possibility of spending with both families but its up to you to make it work.

[lissla]

this is a really tough decision, thank you so much for the replies guys they really gave me alot to consider, still not sure on my decision tho :S