Just beginning to start one

[shahzebxd]

Alright I joined this forum for basically only one purpose and that is advice. Both me and my girlfriend are 16 years old and we've been going out together for like 5 months now. We've met alot of times with each other and go on a date every week and we're totally in love with each other but the problem is that shes shifting away to America forever and I live in Asia and my parents do not have suffient funds to send me to America. Now we tried breaking up over the phone but in the end we just cried like hell when we made that decision and decided that we can't let go of each other that easily.

So now the problem is that the only way I can meet her is after 2-3 years when I go for my university admission to the state she lives in (she lives in Michigan so I'll probably apply to Michigan University) but in the meanwhile we're AFRAID of how the hell will we maintain our relationship for such a long time. We really love each other and don't want to let go but in the end we're just teenagers and how the hell are we supposed to maintain it ? We even talked about marrying each other one day and have kids and how we'll shift to new york =(..Your advice would be greatly appreciated =)

[LadyMarchHare]

Long distant relationships, especially overseas like Asia and America, are hard because you're dealing with distance and a huge time zone difference. However, it is not impossible. You have to be determined to shift your schedule so that you can talk when it's night your time and morning hers, or whatever works for the two of you once she moves and starts school. Lot of trial and error, but when you find what works it won't seem as hard. There are ways to talk without using phones so you don't run up phone bills for international calling or need to buy calling cards all the time, so that's always a plus. Gift sending might get expensive, but that's a minor detail.

The main thing with LDRs is communication. If you're not happy, tell her. If you're worried about a situation you or she is in, tell her. If you're angry, tell her. Talk it out, try to stay calm, and if you need to, take time away from her to think and collect yourself. Trust is another big thing. You have to trust she'll be faithful and that she won't fall for any guy who puts the moves on her when you aren't there. Patience is a third. This won't last forever and if at all possible look for ways to end that distance sooner that you can work towards either with your family's help or on your own. You both are young so try to focus on yourselves as well as one another. If you have dreams that won't immediately lead you to her out of high school, don't set them aside. You both deserve complete happiness and on the chance it ends, you'll regret not doing something you wanted when you had the chance.

And welcome to the forum. This place is really helpful no matter what type of LDR you're in.

[Julia]

Welcome! And i agree with everything LadyMarchHair said. LDR's are hard, across vast distances makes them harder. The majority of the people here are, or were, in similar situations to you, and most of us make it! let them give you hope! the Men and Women here saved my relationship a few times!

[NaNi]

If you really love each other everything can work out! It's really not easy, as the others have already said, but it's worth it.

[Zephii]

You can do it! There are a lot of success stories here that will hopefully inspire you both. The trick is to find time for each other like LMH said, and to keep it fun and interesting. Three years seems like forever, but it's nothing compared to the rest of your lives.

[Silviar]

Congratulations - you've found someone you love so much that you're willing to do what it takes to make it work. That is one of the hardest things to do with a relationship - give yourself the strength and finding ways to keep it going. In all fairness, this is something even longterm relationships who are near each other struggle with. We as LDR's just don't get the chance to touch as frequently.

If you love each other, just try. What you do is you find time to commit to each other. If that's webcam chatting, or playing online games (world of warcraft's a popular option), sending each other little letters or cards when you're not talking, even emails. My boyfriend lives in Australia, I in the USA. There's a 13-15 hour time difference, depending on the season. I get up early in the mornings to talk to him, and he makes sure he's always up before I got to bed to talk. The time is hard. But so is the time and effort required to make any relationship happy.

Best of luck, and hey - stick around, maybe we can help with ideas and more advice you need.

[Caitlin2009]

awww *huggles* i know this does majorly suck but it will be ok, you just gotta work out the time differances on when you can talk and stuff, after awhile it will be hard to be away from one another but you'll get everything down quicker then you think. Yeah its gonna be hard being LDR but if everybody here can do it, then you can too! Trust, Communication, and lots of love are the main keys to an LDR, you can do it

[shahzebxd]

Thanks everyone =)..I appreciate all your comments and advice and encouragement and it has made me feel so much better and much more confident and positive =D...Yeah we both will try our best to work it out and I'm hopeful that in the end it would work out cause I just can't think of the thought of leaving her. Yeah I'll stick around here cause you people give awesome advice.

I was just wondering what do you do when you start drifting apart from each other and it becomes really dry?

[LadyMarchHare]

Depends on what you mean. Loss of conversation topics, loss of interest in each other's company/talk to each other? Sometimes it comes from being around each other too much every day and you just sort of run out of things to do or say and it's not really 'fun' anymore. Other times it can stem from one of you being upset or depressed in some form as depression can cause you to become introverted and want to be left alone. If it's the former, try more individual hobbies so when you do talk you have new things to say or experiences to share. The latter, that calls for understanding and comfort.

[angel85]

Hi everyone . Iam new here also starting a LDR . We will be 3 months on the 23 of this month . I really thought I wouldn't be in this situation and i'am really can't complain . I have got a chance to meet him in person through my parents . He lives in argentina and I live in canada . Everyday is something stronger for us meaning we are in love . Yes iam lucky to get to talk to him everyday because I have a radio its a nextel and he has one to . He is paying for the service to get to talk to me . The way we started was as friends and became best friends . Here i'am enjoying our relationship . Its something different I know iam not the only one in a situation like this . Iam happy to find somewhere I can talk about my LDR . I feel like I found my soulmate .

[MTK]

If you start to feel like you are drifting apart i think that you should talk about it and see if you both feel like that or if it is one sided and what might have caused that feeling and then take it from there.
Also the sky's the limit when it comes to stuff you can do with your SO, you just have to be creative. Like, if you have a boardgame you can make a game night where you play that game together over cam, watch movies together, write journals to each other so you can see stuff from their perspectives and the likes.

[paulawriteslove]

Welcome to the forum. If you two love each other as much as you say, then the distance won't be a problem. You will be able to over come it

[dynomitegurl]

Welcome to the forum, as others have said the fact that you love each other that much to even do a LDR will make it last. It is hard, emotional, and trying yet very much worth it in the end. As other have also said the time difference will be difficult ( my fiance lives in Ireland and I live in WA state) so there is an 8hr time difference, however...we have been doing this since Dec 2008 and couldn't be more happy with the choice we made. Because if you care enough for someone you two will make it work, we did and are ending the distance soon and will be married soon as well. So I know it can work,it just takes work on both end and honesty, trust, and communication. Good Luck!