It hurts so bad.

[melly]

My boyfriend and I met online. Like all online relationships, a phone and a laptop are the most important things. My boyfriend's dad is the strict kind. From what I've heard from him, his dad was never home before, and that their relationship wasn't as close.
Two days ago, my boyfriend's school sent his parents a letter, regarding his results and his attendance in school. He has been skipping classes and well.. his dad was mad. My boyfriend wasn't the goody-goody type to start with. He's been in trouble lots of times but he has changed for me. But I guess it still isn't enough for his dad.

Anyways, his dad confiscated his phone and laptop, in hopes that he'd concentrate more on his studies. We don't know when we're gonna contact each other again. We don't know how we're gonna contact each other. But we love one another too much to just put an end to our relationship.

We both cried. We're both waiting for the right time again and this wait is killing me.. It has only been a few hours and I feel empty and lost without him. I don't know how I'm going to sleep without crying my eyes out, or wake up without dreading the days ahead. I miss him so much.

Anyways, I'm going through a hard time here. The person whom I can turn to, isn't there anymore so I'm hoping I could get some moral support from you guys. And don't ask me to give up. It's the last thing that I'd do. :/

[Julia]

**hugs** that really stinks. i honestly dont know what to do or say other then that. All bad things come to an end, all of them. i didnt think they would, but im coming to learn that all things are possible, even the things that seem hardest. hold in there. im here if you need me. PM me if you wanna talk, or vent, or just scream at someone, ill listen.

[NaNi]

Oh wow, that's really bad. Is there chance that he might be able to send you emails from school? Or from any other public location with computers?

[LadyMarchHare]

Is he in a private school or college? You mentioned he sent them a letter so I'm assuming he's away from home for the time being.

At any rate, if he has some money you could try one of those GO phones, where you pay for x amount of service or whatnot so he'd be able to text you. And there's always a library computer (though they are slow) or just good old fashioned snail mail letters so you'd at least be getting something from him.

While I agree with the father to an extent in the punishment, you have to take in consideration exactly what your child is using these things for. The computer's hard because he may need it for school but taking it away isn't terrible. The phone's a bit silly, especially with these circumstances. The aggravation and pain from having contact with you cut abruptly and completely could hinder his studies and, ultimately, his grades perhaps worse than if he had at least the phone. Since you mentioned they aren't close I can't venture there being a chance a compromise could be had. But, there are always ways to go behind parents' backs so I wouldn't worry too much.

[Frank]

No one here would ever ask you to give up We are usually a pretty supportive bunch. I guess you could look at this as an opportunity to practice you letter writing! LadyMarchHare is right in that it is his dad's right to punish him for poor attendance and performance. It is unfortunate. The bright side is that he will eventually get his stuff back and you can talk again, and he will hopefully be doing better in school. Have you tried to contact his friend who could relay a message to him? Something will work out. And, there is always sneaking around

[melly]

Thanks guys.. Yeah, he's in a private school. He's in Singapore to be exact. And I heard from one of my friends that the school he's attending requires a strict attendance. His father has grounded him. He isn't allowed to go out or anything at all. Though he said he'll try to send me snail mails whenever he gets the chance to. He might be even barred from his examinations this year, which infuriated his father. Things are going downhill for him now and I feel bad for not being there for him. I've thought of going there and seeing him. But I don't know if this is the right time. I'm just afraid that my appearance would make things worse for him. Should I pay him a visit? Well, since he isn't allowed to go out, I'd just go to his house. But yeah, not sure if that's a good idea.

I agree with LadyMarchHare, he sort of deserved it for skipping classes and all. But she's also right about him doing worse. I don't know, I'm just so worried about him right now. I can't even contact him, I don't know if he's doing alright. I miss him.. He told me that he tried begging his dad not to take his phone away, but it didn't work.

I'm not even allowed to send him letters cuz his dad's the one who usually picks up letters from the mailbox. His dad found out about us before, and asked him to immediately end things between us. But that was 6 months ago and we survived it. I don't wanna risk anything anymore, I'm afraid to lose him. I feel so weak. All I can do right now is look back at our long conversation saying our last goodbyes and making promises. I really don't know what to do without him.

[LadyMarchHare]

I've been on the troublemaking side of school before. I failed 3 school years due to skipping, though it was for medical reasons we didn't know about until too late. So I know what it's like to be punished severely (I count that as severe since I'd tear what's left of my hair out if I couldn't at least text my SO here and there) and how said punishment may make things worse, but I can understand why as well.

As for visiting, I don't think right now's the ideal time. Yes it would be a relief because you'd see each other despite the punishment, but he really needs to put his nose to the grind right now and work to not only earn his ways of talking to you back, but to ease the tension between his father and himself. The man doesn't have to like either of you, but right now he needs to kiss a little rear and bite back pride. If not for himself in the long run, then for you. It's not unusual for parents to not like our SO's for whatever reason, usually the distance part, and in the end his opinion matters as much as a star millions of lightyears from here dying. Is there another address you could send the letters to, a relative or friend's home? I'm sure a good friend wouldn't mind being a middle man for a bit just for letters. It's not that huge a hassle.

[Silviar]

I wouldn't visit right now, especially if his dad doesn't like you (you didn't say if he's ok with you now, so I assume not). He's under a lot of stress, and if he got denied the chance to be with you, it'd only make things worse. I hope that with the way his dad is, you'll be able to sort things out and he'll eventually come around to being ok with you. In the meantime, remember that you haven't lost him, you're just not able to communicate as much/in normal modes. Let the strength of your love and relationship support you in your time of need. He wouldn't have stayed with you if he wasn't determined to be with you, given all of that.

Maybe you can put a blog up where you can post messages back and forth? There has to be some way to get a message to him, surely.

[holdinghands]

Wow, that really sucks *big hug*
I'd say don't visit him right now, i'm not really sure how you can get messages to each other but maybe through his friends at school or something? I think he just needs to work his butt off and do his best at school to show his dad how he deserves to have his phone or his computer back. And technically he could just buy a new phone? Or use a friends and pay them back? As they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Also when my laptop died and my mum didn't get why i was so rushed to get a new one we agreed to think of each other at a certain time each day, which was really comforting. I think when parents don't realise the specific urgency you have to maintain some form of communicational technology they just don't get how severe a punishment taking it away is. My family always give out to me about being on the laptop 24/7 and they always make me go and sit and watch tv or whatever with them, just because they don't realise why the laptop is so important to me.
It is crucial that you try and stay strong throughout this, just try and keep looking towards the next week, the next week, the next week until you'll finally be able to be together once again. splitting the wait up into chunks often makes it easier to deal with as a whole.
Best of luck

[LadyMarchHare]

Wow, that really sucks *big hug*
I'd say don't visit him right now, i'm not really sure how you can get messages to each other but maybe through his friends at school or something? I think he just needs to work his butt off and do his best at school to show his dad how he deserves to have his phone or his computer back. And technically he could just buy a new phone? Or use a friends and pay them back? As they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Also when my laptop died and my mum didn't get why i was so rushed to get a new one we agreed to think of each other at a certain time each day, which was really comforting. I think when parents don't realise the specific urgency you have to maintain some form of communicational technology they just don't get how severe a punishment taking it away is. My family always give out to me about being on the laptop 24/7 and they always make me go and sit and watch tv or whatever with them, just because they don't realise why the laptop is so important to me.
It is crucial that you try and stay strong throughout this, just try and keep looking towards the next week, the next week, the next week until you'll finally be able to be together once again. splitting the wait up into chunks often makes it easier to deal with as a whole.
Best of luck

I've always been 'addicted' to the computer mainly because it's an easier form of communication for me and I had plenty to do. My mom hated it and would unplug the phone cord (this being in the days when we had dial-up AOL) just to get me off it. The way I see it is, yes you're in front of a screen but you're also still in the house where they can see you physically. Whereas if you weren't in front of the computer, you could be out doing various other things most teenagers/young adults seem to do that lead to injury, pregnancy, or death. Technically, you're safe in front of the computer. It's the same as being in front of the television, you have a chance of being exposed to less than nice things, but it can't physically harm you. It's only when you're skipping meals or losing significant amounts of sleep over it solely (not to be mistaken with sleeping problems/insomnia and using the computer as a way to entertain yourself in the wee hours) that it becomes a problem. Using it to communicate with friends as I do, my best friend is an hour away and I rarely see her, or your SO is not a hindrance. Now if you're texting them during meals rudely then yes, but that's all circumstantial stuff anyway.

[holdinghands]

I've always been 'addicted' to the computer mainly because it's an easier form of communication for me and I had plenty to do. My mom hated it and would unplug the phone cord (this being in the days when we had dial-up AOL) just to get me off it. The way I see it is, yes you're in front of a screen but you're also still in the house where they can see you physically. Whereas if you weren't in front of the computer, you could be out doing various other things most teenagers/young adults seem to do that lead to injury, pregnancy, or death. Technically, you're safe in front of the computer. It's the same as being in front of the television, you have a chance of being exposed to less than nice things, but it can't physically harm you. It's only when you're skipping meals or losing significant amounts of sleep over it solely (not to be mistaken with sleeping problems/insomnia and using the computer as a way to entertain yourself in the wee hours) that it becomes a problem. Using it to communicate with friends as I do, my best friend is an hour away and I rarely see her, or your SO is not a hindrance. Now if you're texting them during meals rudely then yes, but that's all circumstantial stuff anyway.

Lol exactly, i mean i sit at the dining table which is in the same room as the television so its really not that bad. And i do suffer from insomnia actually as well, when i try and sleep or i am tired my legs start to ache and burn so i can't sleep. And when my mum has caught me at 4 in the morning on the laptop she gives out to me and it took me ages to cinvince her something was actually wrong with me as she thought i was just making excuses to stay on the computer at night time. Luckily now i've finished school so when everyone else is at work i can talk to him and then once they all get home i can do something else whilst waiting for them all to go to bed

[USA2Canada]

I guess his dad is just being a normal protective dad wanting him to do well in school, he just has to show dad he can do it! Doing well in school is important to his future and yours if your still with him! Okay this is when creative minds have to come to play, what about a friend of his does he have a close friend? simply send the snail mail to the friend and the friend gives it to him at school, you could even put a calling card in it and he can call you from the friends phone or a school phone or pay phone. IF you have had a chance to chat or talk to one of his friends, give them a buzz about the concept they might just agree.