Overthinking

[GFI_1155]

I have been having a problem which is called Overthinking. I think of every little thing ,silly things too. This problem is affecting my mood and my SO also, sometimes when he doesnt talk to me when he is busy If he says a specific word or something I go thinking about it like "what did he mean by this word" ,"why he didnt talk to me today I think he doesnt care about me anymore", "he doesnt wanna talk to me I guess there is something wrong", "is he distrusting me". Those were examples of how I over think about him I also think of our nice conversations a lot (I think this is normal), or sometimes our fights that we had in the past. It is really tiring it sometimes gets me upset and angry when I think too much, I dont like it

Is anyone else having this problem?
Any advice for it?

[Jgui]

I'm the same and and it drives me insane because i'll basically get upset over nothing. I give probs to my husband for putting up with me. haha! sometimes i think he's the crazy on for marrying me =p

but i think the best thing to do is to take a step back and look at the situation, conversation, or whatever it is with a fresh eye. I find taking a long shower really helps because it clears my mind up.

[monkinlove]

I'm a guy who over thinks things so I can sympathize. Especially in relationships. However, I also try to challenge my thoughts with logic. For people who over think with anxiety, this is a way to challenge thoughts that may be causing anxiety. Rather than get yourself worked up, try to also work yourself down with some logical thoughts. It's the irrationality in our over analysis that gets us in trouble. When we over think we sometimes start making assumptions and putting in intentions and thoughts into other people that we have no idea is even close to being reality. The whole adage, "assume" makes an ass out of u & me is correct. We have to be careful in our assumptions and over reading actions.

[efish1042]

It's relatively normal. I try to distract myself when I get like that. I say "Self, you're being ridiculous. Stop what you're doing, read a book/watch a movie/do something to distract yourself, then maybe things will look different after a while." If it ever gets out of control (racing thoughts, unbidden thoughts, etc), you may have an anxiety problem that you need to work on, though.

[MissKS]

Ive been over thinking a lot.

[melarie]

I over think a lot too. I've always had a problem with analyzing everything a person does or says, not just guys either. Friends, family. It's really annoying. We can be having a perfectly normal conversation then I just get paranoid about something, get all quiet and eventually sometimes get upset or cry, I don't know how he puts up with me lol.

[MattDavies86]

I'm an overthinker too, but I have more than enough control and trust to just say NO and I stop lol, then I start to overthink in a planning way, what to get her when she comes to stay with me, where to take her, what to do, it's more proactive to overthink in that way, make plans

[summerkid]

monkinlove has a good point. Logically (and if possible, as objectively and honestly as possible) going through your anxious thoughts might help. It might also help to backtrace your thoughts and emotions to try and see what you actually have a problem with, what the root of the issue is. You can split them up in categories and see what the situation is, how it makes you feel and what it makes you think of, and what are your emotions, what you feel like doing and what you actually end up doing. You might notice you're making the wrong connections, or you're not going about it the right way.

That being said, I am a bit like your SO. It just happens that i don't feel like talking. Doesn't mean anything, just that it's the way I am built. I just sometimes need my space.

[Mims27]

Guilty! lol
I think a lot of us do this. The joys of LDRs is that it's hard to read your SO through text or email and we end up overthinking. I do this a little too much but I have been working at toning that down. Not letting my brain mess with me. What I have found that helps a lot, is this site acutally. I come here and post or blog about whatever is going through my mind and getting the different/unbiased point of views helps me realise my thoughts are kinda silly.

[XxFranticLovexX]

I do this a lot when I don't get to talk to him for a while or we have to chat through IM instead of over the phone/voice chat. I agree that it's probably because you can't read their emotions through a text medium. I always worry that I've done something to annoy him or make him angry when he sends short replies or a certain emote or that he's getting tired of me or something if he doesn't message me or reply back quickly. It's honestly really silly and I usually realize this once I take the time to think about it or actually talk to him but it doesn't stop my mind from getting carried away sometimes and freaking out until I can make myself be rational again.

[SeeRat]

I am also over-thinker lolz. But i dont overthink about him as i just voice my concerns to him and he simply clarifies everything. My prob gets worst when i overthink about people around me( to whom i cant just go and ask if they mean anything wrong ) like my class fellows and teachers. Recently my supervisor had asked me such a thing over which i have been thinking till now since last 4 days lol and it still kinda makes me feel worst.. I wish i just could get this thing out of my mind and stay cool

[GFI_1155]

I'm a guy who over thinks things so I can sympathize. Especially in relationships. However, I also try to challenge my thoughts with logic. For people who over think with anxiety, this is a way to challenge thoughts that may be causing anxiety. Rather than get yourself worked up, try to also work yourself down with some logical thoughts. It's the irrationality in our over analysis that gets us in trouble. When we over think we sometimes start making assumptions and putting in intentions and thoughts into other people that we have no idea is even close to being reality. The whole adage, "assume" makes an ass out of u & me is correct. We have to be careful in our assumptions and over reading actions.

Well i think you are right challenging thoughts with logic. Its a better way to think instead of analyize people.

[GFI_1155]

It's relatively normal. I try to distract myself when I get like that. I say "Self, you're being ridiculous. Stop what you're doing, read a book/watch a movie/do something to distract yourself, then maybe things will look different after a while." If it ever gets out of control (racing thoughts, unbidden thoughts, etc), you may have an anxiety problem that you need to work on, though.

I do the same thing and I tell my self to stop thinking anfd I go do other things, but sometimes when I have nothing to do I start to think and overthink.

[GFI_1155]

I'm an overthinker too, but I have more than enough control and trust to just say NO and I stop lol, then I start to overthink in a planning way, what to get her when she comes to stay with me, where to take her, what to do, it's more proactive to overthink in that way, make plans

I like this idea lol, overthinking in a planning way I'll put this in mind

[kiara_silver]

I do this at times too, it's a bad habit but i've gotten better. I literally have to tell myself let it go. I have my paranoid moments, or I let my mind get the best of me, or I let something I see on tv, or read effect me. I don't know why I do it :P With the big stuff talking it over always helps me, coming to him and venting and he talks to me and we move past it. And the little things after a moment of re-thinking I realize how silly my thoughts are and can let it go. But your human, over-thinking happens lol, best of luck, try to relax