Wooing from a distance. Is she interested.

[monkinlove]

So there is a girl I'm interested in, but we are not officially dating. I haven't been in a lot of relationships. The girl I'm interested in is in transition in life and so I'm trying to take things slow.

In the midst of all of that I'm trying to see if she is interested in me. I think she is, but I'm not sure.

Since she is going through a divorce, she has included me in on a lot of details of the divorce. Of course I work in family law, so that seems to be one reason she includes me in those conversations and details. I tried to not read too much into that area.

She has included me in discussions about what she is going through personally. This is a better indication that she feels comfortable with me. She trusts me. Things that she is dealing with emotionally etc. This seems to be a better indication of at least a closer friendship at the very least.

Recently, we talked about job options she is debating. She seems to really appreciate my input and viewpoint. The decision is ultimately hers of course, but she seems to like that I help her think through options.

She also seems open to meeting someday and even open (depending on how things go with her transition) to going to a musical next year where she lives.

I've treated her as a friend, but she definitely knows I'm interested past the friendship level. Considering we met on a dating site. However, I know she has just been looking for a friend for now. However, I'm trying to gauge her interest in me. She seems to be interested in me and likes me at some level. However, I'm not sure to what level. I know more will be revealed in time and as she moves forward in life. But just based on this, what are your thoughts on her interest level?

-Monk

[pretty ll vacant]

I think you're off to a great start, but you shouldn't rush a relationship, especially if she's coming out of a divorce. Take it slow and be friends for awhile. In my experience, my BF and I started talking as friends first and as the friendship grew, we developed deep feelings of love for each other. The friendship can be the sturdy foundation you build your relationship on. In the end, you get the best of both worlds; a lover and a friend. Just keep doing what you're doing, maybe she just isn't ready but I think she'll definitely let you know when she is.

[monkinlove]

I think you're off to a great start, but you shouldn't rush a relationship, especially if she's coming out of a divorce. Take it slow and be friends for awhile. In my experience, my BF and I started talking as friends first and as the friendship grew, we developed deep feelings of love for each other. The friendship can be the sturdy foundation you build your relationship on. In the end, you get the best of both worlds; a lover and a friend. Just keep doing what you're doing, maybe she just isn't ready but I think she'll definitely let you know when she is.

PIIV,

THanks so much for your reply and encouragement. I know, I'm trying to restrain myself from flirting or doing anything outside of a friendship. I've been doing pretty well. However, I can't help but analyze. I do like her as a friend and I want to know her more as a friend, but even at that level I know I have to take my time and let her open as she is comfortable. I know that even if/when we meet up it will be as friends. Even going out to do something, friends. I know just even meeting will be months away. Maybe even a year. I'm also thankful for her friendship in my life. And I've let her know that.

You are so right about the friendship and it being a great foundation. That's a good reminder. There are also other foundations to build definitely, but the friendship is essential. It's something I can't overlook as I tend to over-analyze other aspects.