I wanna my LDR lasting, but I'm having issues

[littlekakau]

To get together with my loved boyfriend we went through lots of stuff. From cultural/ language difference to prejudice from people around. That's why I know he's the man of my life. But the distance and his current personal problem is killing me. I don't wanna break up, what we lived together was amazing, the feeling when we are ok is great. I trust him, he trusts me. But his lack of desire on talk to me is hurting. He wants to privy me, he closes himself. LDR needs communication to go on. I'm pretty insecure and acting like this when I call him instead of waiting his interest. Yesterday when he called me, I felt amazing. Today when I called him, I felt awful. I'm being intruder, but I don't wanna to. What to do? I can't go out with friends because my mom needs care all the time. My concentration on anything last just 20minutes. I'm feeling lost! I don't know how to have a LDR! :'(

[monkinlove]

Hi Littlekakau,

It sounds like there are a lot of issues going on. Some of it to do with the actual relationship and some of it to do with each of you individually. I'm not sure if the individual issues is affecting the relationship. It sounds like he is going through something, but maybe he isn't being open about it. If that is the case, it's hard to get some guys to open up. It's also hard not to take it personally. Moreover, when it affects and key essential like communication in an LDR, that is very difficult.

I'm not exactly sure what to recommend. Other people on here are more informed on this type of situation than me. However, you may have to be a bit patient as he deals with his issues. However, I think it's also good to talk about your concerns as to keeping an important line of communication open for the relationship. Even if that is difficult for him at this time. Guys may have issues about talking and opening up, but with an LDR that doesn't give them an excuse not to be there in the relationship and still communicating.

I hope things start to work out for you both. You are both in my prayers.

-Monk

[Irina_Linn]

i think it is just the matter of time and you get used to it.LDR requires a lot of patience indeed and! a lot of work on yourself.Some things that you didnt even notice before may seem like a huge problem in LDR.Explain your insecurities to him and there is nothing wrong in calling or texting first.Even though you may not speak for hours,your text message can definteley cheer him up and help him get over personal problems.Btw can you invite your friends to your place?or maybe do some things together with your mom?

[Amelia]

you need patience and communication. LDRs are alot of work especially in the initial months/years, you have alot of rough patches and moments where you think crap i cant do this its driving me nuts. The best way to sort through issues is talking about them being completely open, otherwise they wont get fixed and may lead to a break up.

As far as friends, this site has a chat and mostly people are on it and always willing to talk to others at any time of the day due to our weird time zones

[littlekakau]

Today I was straight and asked what was the problem. He's scared of closing distance and he wants time to think.
Now that I know everything is fine between us, I will do all to keep my mind out of missing him. FFacebook, Skype and cellphone. Lol