Trouble trouble trouble... I think I am an idiot afterall.

[Mellow]

Hello guys, survived new years eve?

I did, sort of. Made some terrible mistakes though. A bit of background information is pobably needed to tell you guys about it.
I‘ve been together with my SO for little over half a year now. He is the sweetest guy I have ever met and I really dont want lose him over some stupid things I did.
I went to a huge part yesterday, alot
of my friends from my old highschool went there too, so I was really excited to go there. Before arriving there,I was already feeling a bit drunk. (Note: Legal age for drinking is 16 here) I know that at that point,I just should have stopped drinking... But I didnt. I can be considered a shy girl, but when there is a lot of alcohol involved, I turn into this social creature that chats with everyone on my path. Nothing wrong with making new friends right? Around the end of the evening,I started chatting with a guy I will name “babyface“ for now (he really had a babyface :3). He just wouldnt leave me alone. In my head I kept
repeating that I should just walk away, I have a loving boyfriend afterall... but I didnt walk away. Babyface boy kissed me.... I didnt really realise it in th e beginning but he actually kissed me. Frenchkissed. He was a horrible kisser. I didnt feel anything, just kept thinking about my so
If this was the end of the crazy night...that would be awesome. But it wasnt sadly...
So I managed to “escape“ from
that boy, bumped in a friend who
pretended to be my boyfriend so Babyface boy would leave me alone. Which he didnt. Kept
following like glue.

It took a vey long time fo shake him off (I am always way too “polite“ to sah rud things, or to tell others off....).
Evening wats almost over But m “bad luck“ wasnt over yet... ._. an old classmate managed to kiss me just before leaving. Didnt kiss back though, but he tried and our lips did touch x_x

Nothing happened with that guy afterwards.ya, he got rejected.
And now...feeling like a slut .___. Im
feeling so guilty. Could have prevented easi...... I am/ just such an idiot. I really love my SO and I dont want to hurt him... which is bound to happen. Dont want to
lie to him
either
My SO is a person who has such a forgiving spirit, he is so kind. He is too good for me.
I just love him so much... ._. Dont know what to do....



(Sorryvfor the spelling mistakes.... typing on le phone)

[LittleBox]

You have to come clean with him. Although at that point alcohol could have been a factor in distorting your sense of judgement there's no excuse now for not being honest with him. You'll have to be prepared for any reaction from him, he might be taken-aback and hurt but the guilt will keep gnawing at you if you don't tell him. Any relationship is based on complete honesty the fact that its an LDR and chances are he won't find out is negligible. You'll need to make a mental note of not drinking too much next time you go to a party.

[kittyo9]

So I managed to “escape“ from
that boy, bumped in a friend who
pretended to be my boyfriend so Babyface boy would leave me alone. Which he didnt. Kept
following like glue.

It took a vey long time fo shake him off (I am always way too “polite“ to sah rud things, or to tell others off....).
Evening wats almost over But m “bad luck“ wasnt over yet... ._. an old classmate managed to kiss me just before leaving. Didnt kiss back though, but he tried and our lips did touch x_x

Nothing happened with that guy afterwards.ya, he got rejected.
And now...feeling like a slut .___. Im
feeling so guilty. Could have prevented easi...... I am/ just such an idiot. I really love my SO and I dont want to hurt him... which is bound to happen. Dont want to
lie to him
either

Hey, don't worry so much about it. You didn't do anything wrong. It was the actions of others that put you in this position. Tell your SO what happened, but make it clear that it was completely unwanted. Kissing someone against their will is a form of sexual assault, and pursuing you continually after you've indicated that you do not wish to associate with that person is harassment. It's easy to feel like you should have done something differently, but you are not at fault.

[Romeo s Juliet]

you should let your SO know this. Because if you dont now, you will always think of what if i told hi, what if i had been truthful with him. so let him know. and then decide together what is the best way to deal with your guilt/hurt and his feelings. be honest. good luck

[MrTony]

I'm sorry to hear your story . I agree with commasplice though, you need to tell him. If you confess later, it will be harder for him to trust you in the future. Coming from a guy's point of view if that makes any sense :/. He seems very passive, loving, and like you said, forgiving from the little bit you've explained. I'd consider that to be me as well. I couldn't tell you exactly what I'd do if that happened, but I could tell you the longer my other waited to tell me the more I'd get hurt. LDR to me is very fragile as it is because you're not together. Skype every night doesn't count. In any successful and happy relationship period, you need 100% honesty. He might want to know you're serious about your apology, commasplice suggested drinking less, maybe if it comes right down to it, you can tell him you won't drink unless it's with him, just to reassure him. I don't know your situation, and I don't know what he'll say. Just a suggestion.
Given the circumstances, the way you explain your actions doesn't make you a slut. That's why drinking too much is bad. Please, if aren't a "slut", don't call yourself that. Your other would be extremely hurt just hearing you call yourself that. An "idiot"...probably, because drinking too much alcohol was your fault, and nothing good ever comes from drinking too much. Please don't take that the wrong way, I'm not trying to insult or offend, just help.
But regardless, you really need to limit your alcohol intake when at parties period, or something similar may happen again,
Hope this helps, and I hope you can be honest with your other, do what's right and set things straight. I hope you two can get past this .

[Mims27]

Honesty really is the best policy. If you don't talk to him about it, the guilt is going to eat at you. Good luck.

[ams.201220]

Girl, I totally feel for you. I'm the worst drunk and I'm a slutty drunk. When i first got to college, I did go out a lot and I did get drunk and I made out with a few guys. But once I sobered, I felt awful and the only way to get rid of that feeling was to tell him. I did, and we ended up not speaking to each other after a huge argument. But he did talk to me again and he forgave me. And ever since, I haven't gone out like that because I don't want something like that to happen again. Really, just tell him. If he loves you, he'll forgive you.

[MrTony]

That's right, if he loves you, he'll forgive you. But you need to tell him :/. And fortunately, it isn't as terrible as it could have been. Props to you for staying as strong as you did.

[ThePiedPiper]

I don't see you as an idiot for going out and drinking because we all make mistakes (whether or not they're related to our limits) and sometimes making them is the only way to learn and grow as a person, and I don't see you as a slut merely because the contact was unwanted. Where I'm confused is "baby faced boy." For him to have French kissed you, does this mean that you kissed him back/allowed it to continue? Whereas with the other, you avoided it/pushed him away? Either way I feel it's something you need to tell your SO, but if you momentarily kissed "baby faced boy," that's different than if he forced himself on you. If he forced himself on you, that falls more in the category of sexual harassment, as kittyo9 said, and therefore, that should be stressed when talking to your SO because it wasn't as though you cheated. However, if you did kiss "baby faced boy" back, then you do need to tell your SO and be honest about it and be prepared for how he might react to it, as well. Forgiving or not, he's going to be dealing with his own emotions surrounding it. The most you can do is be honest about it and take precautions to prevent this from happening in the future. However, if both advances were unwanted/made with you pushing them away/made with you saying "no" or trying to pull away, then that is sexual harassment and I'm sincerely sorry you had to go through it.

[Alsfia]

Been there, done that, just not with my SO. I did some mistakes (not appropriate to mention all of them) while being drunk when I was dating my ex. Once it escalated, and I promised to not drink as much but the guilt I felt from not telling him was horrible and probably one of the factors that lead to that relationship's end. Nothing like that has happened for over a 18 months now, probably since I never drink to the point I don't know what I want (or I'm unable to defend myself) anymore, and it feels a lot better being me now. I guess sometimes you just have to learn the hard way

[MattDavies86]

I think in that situation you should have stopped drinking, the "I was drunk" excuse doesn't cut it with me to be honest, there's only one person who got into that drunk state and that's the person who drank the alcahol, definitely tell him, it's the only way, but I personally wouldn't be happy.

[MadMolly]

Just sounds like you just got kissed by a couple guys; wasn't you doing the kissing so I don't see why you would be feeling slutty. A couple guys tried to kiss me on NYE, I either ducked away in time or pushed them off, but it really wasn't a big deal. Everyone gets kissy on NYE.

[WakeUpSusie]

Eh, I think it depends on the situation. If you kissed either guy back, or didn't push them off of you, I think you need to tell him. Alcohol isn't really an excuse in that case. If they pushed a kiss on you and you pushed away immediately/didn't kiss them back, then I think it's your call.

I had a drunk friend-of-a-friend kiss me really suddenly, no warning, at a bar one night when a bunch of us were out drinking. I just pushed him away immediately (and nicely) and said I was dating someone. He got all pissy (which my friends and I thought was hilarious) and that was that. I always thought that I would immediately have to tell my boyfriend about something like that, but he was having such a bad week that week that I decided it really wasn't a big enough deal to tell him about and potentially upset him more. I ended up mentioned it eventually and he laughed.

In short, I think it depends on the situation and your relationship.

[Sora1101]

Like everyone said, be honest and tell him what happened. But where I disagree with most people is when they say that it wasn't you're fault/your SO shouldn't be mad at you. I would be furious if my SO got so wasted that he let other girls kiss him. I think if you had been fully sober you might have been able to prevent it. I'm not saying this to be mean or anything but maybe you missed signals that you were sending to these guys? I know when my friend drinks she thinks she's just being social when in reality it looks like she's majorly flirting with these guys.

If your SO does get mad at you I think you should allow him to vent his anger a bit (not in a totally let him verbally abuse you type of way but at least tolerate a little anger without acting like you did absolutely nothing wrong and it's his fault for getting angry at you) and then remind him that while your actions with consuming that much alcohol were stupid you felt nothing for these guys and that in the future you won't drink to that excess.

[ThePiedPiper]

Like everyone said, be honest and tell him what happened. But where I disagree with most people is when they say that it wasn't you're fault/your SO shouldn't be mad at you. I would be furious if my SO got so wasted that he let other girls kiss him. I think if you had been fully sober you might have been able to prevent it. I'm not saying this to be mean or anything but maybe you missed signals that you were sending to these guys? I know when my friend drinks she thinks she's just being social when in reality it looks like she's majorly flirting with these guys.

If you've ever been sexually harassed, or had a friend who was, then I assume you know that you don't always send out signals; if you haven't, then I can say that this is the case. Whether she was trying to be nice or wasn't, if the advances were unwanted and she pushed them off of her when they kissed her, then I don't think she should sit there and be blamed for that. Maybe she did get drunk, but people take advantage of drunk people or they're drunk themselves and make stupid decisions. Point is, if someone goes to a party, gets wasted, and someone takes advantage of that and has sex with them, it's considered rape, same as this would be considered harassment if she didn't ask for it. You don't have to say an explicit "no" for it to mean "no." And seeing something as social when others see it as flirty doesn't make the other boy's behaviour okay, even if it means they had a reason for trying. In the end, if it was unwanted, and she pushed them off, it was unwanted and she pushed them off and they should have respected that. It's victim blaming to say she could have prevented it if sober. That's similar to saying women could prevent rape if they didn't wear jeans or if they didn't dress in mini-skirts. She should be able to get drunk and have a good time without being blamed for what's happened to her. I'm big on personal responsibility, yes, but if a drunk boy caught her off guard and kissed her, it's possible that could have happened even to someone who was sober. It's fine to hold someone responsible if they kissed/made out with the person, but if the advances were unwanted and she did not kiss them/pushed them off of her, how is that her fault than if something unwanted happens to you? It happens to sober people all the time. Cues or no cues, if she pushed them off, it absolves her of more responsibility than if she didn't. It would be one thing if these problems only existed when people drank, but they don't, and I assume you wouldn't say the same thing to a sober person who was caught off-guard but pushed the person off immediately.