Help please !!!

[xxSmileyxx]

hey
Well im new on this site and im so happy i found it!.Ive recently entered into a long distance relationship.. I met my boyfriend about a month ago in a Treatment centre, I was in there for drugs and he was in there for alcohol.& we clicked straight away and just before i went home he asked me to be his girlfriend. He lives about 66 miles away in the nex county (I live in Ireland) and i went up to visit him a few days after i left and we had a great day together.. i soo didnt want to leave. But anyway in the last week i think things are after changing.. i feel more paranoid feel like hes after loosing interest in me and is only staying with me for sex i just have so many thoughts goin on in my mind and I said it to him and he said im just being paranoid and that he thinks we're fine. But i just dont know we havent talked on the phone in days were just texting.. the texts are becoming short and boring like we have nothing to say to one another.. and hes not saying nice things to me anymore like he misses me or stuff like that. and im just thinking now it wont work out between us.. but im so crazy about him i dont know what to to.. please help

[Silviar]

Well, he might have a different way of expressing his love and affection. Many guys don't do a good job expressing their affection through texts, or are more of a physical sort of intimate. Maybe the real talk you need to have is to explain to him that you need some signs of affection from him because that's what makes you feel close to him/loved.

If you think he's only using you for sex, though, maybe you need to evaluate more and see if he really wants a relationship versus a more casual intimacy.

[LadyMarchHare]

If you believe the relationship's more of a long-term 'booty call', don't have sex with him or ask him what he would do if you decided you didn't want to have sex for x amount of weeks. Do you guys share any hobbies, interests in music or movies? Finding something in common helps generate conversation as well as the typical talking about your day or how you're feeling. Maybe try to find something you guys can do long distance instead of just texting.

But Silviar is right, plenty of guys don't express their feelings verbally and either assume you know therefore you don't need a reminder or they express it in other ways such as acts or how they talk with you. If it's honestly bothering you, call him and tell him but try to calm about it. Say you noticed a lack of any obvious affection in his texts and that you do care for him and want to work but you need to know as well how he honestly feels about you.

[Darth_Taco]

I don't know why I feel the need to say this, but I'm a recovering addict too. I'll be sober a year somewhere in the beginning of August. If I relapse, I am never quitting cold turkey again @_@.

Before I address anything, I'd like to know some things. Have you made it clear you want more communication and what you're having now isn't enough? Have you told him that your paranoia could partially be because you think he might be using you for sex? What compromises have you two tried to make? Anything that might seem important that you haven't said yet? What you've given us is a little vague, so I'd like some more details.

I also need to say this. I'm not sure if this is your first time getting sober or what you were on, but for me one major problem I had with sobriety was my lack of control of my emotions and my excessive paranoia (as in "I carry a knife"). I wad on opiate pain pills for four years, and it was a major shock for me when I began feeling anything for the first time in God knows how long. It takes a good long while to adjust and learn proper coping skills. I basically started over to almost infancy level of expressing myself. Every recovering addict I've known has had this problem. Biggest problem has always been anger issues, but I think that might be because we all had anger issues before we were addicted XP. I say this because these particular issues caused me a lot of relationship problems, despite him never going down this path. I'm not sure if you've considered this as maybe aggravating some things or not for both of you. I just felt this was necessary to say.