Liking two people?

[corrda00]

Hello, I actually disagree with the last post...
it seems your ex isn't making much effort, where as this Amanda is and that's important..

My advice, don't rush anything. Right now its hard to see, but give it a while and you're feeling will come through...
Keep talking to this Amanda though.

^
This. I went through the same thing sort of. I had feelings for my ex when I met my SO. I just had to let go of the feelings I had for my ex and now I've never been happier

[redapple]

I'd agree with tanja... I think you've built this first girl up in your head to be more than she is. Maybe you like the romanticism of waiting but if your not talking and have no plans to get together then what are you waiting for?! I guess we're all waiting in a way but I'd want a lot more than one month if talking and no communication to justify the wait. Move in, your older self will thank you for it in the future!

[redapple]

Also I'd say forget them both if youre nit sure hiw you feel, especially if you want to keep Amanda as a friend. Of course if you do actually like this Amanda then go for it, but keep yourself grounded don't romanticise things too much, it'll make it easier for you to work out how you really feel.

[EnglishMan]

I dont wanna come across as accusing or something, but this is a situation you're gunna have to handle pretty carefully. Liking two people can happen, and ive been on the other side of that where somebody ive been with has cheated on me and left me for somebody else (not my LDR-ex). Being left for somebody else by somebody you really love, its pretty crushing to say the least. So you have to handle this well and treat both girls like people with feelings, because I know firsthand that some people couldn't give a thought about how others feel. But you seem like you have your heart in the right place so ill save the lecture :P

It's a tricky situation for sure. I agree if you truly love somebody, then nobody else is going to enter your mind. I can appreciate maybe the lessened communication with your ex over a long period of time is a factor for naturally opening you up to somebody else, but I generally agree if somebody is really swaying you from somebody else, then they werent the right person.

However, the other side to it is, if you're going to continue to communicate with your ex and be friends, then there is the potential of being with Amanda but down the line realising you still love your ex. Which wouldn't be a great situation for Amanda lol.

I think what you need is some time and space away from both girls. Doesnt have to be forever lol, but when you're involved in something you rarely see the whole picture, while if you can sit back to yourself for a little bit, then you can properly evaluate what you want, who you're missing, which path suits you more. I think what your heart tells you is important, but you have to consider a lot of other factors as well.

[Maxy]

Thank you for all of your help. I plan to take a while away from both of them, starting in February. A week or a bit longer than that should do it. What do you think, would that be good?