my parents dont agree

[august]

ive only told my dad about me being in LDR and he doesnt like it cause he says i dont know him, he could be cheating, blah blah blah... he wants to know if were gonna make it"real" someday and well i hope we do obviously! but hes against it and he thinks i shouldnt tell my mom about it.
do you guys have the same problem? how do you deal with this?

[efish1042]

My dad just hates my SO irrationally and always will. Not even for a reason like "he's taking away my baby girl", but just because he can. It's hard and it hurts, but we push on. It doesn't really matter as long as he doesn't make you choose between your SO and you family. It is just a sad part of life. It sounds like your dad might get over this once you and your SO finally close the distance, though, so there's hope for you.
Tell your mom. She should know. If you tell one parent, why not the other?

[kiara_silver]

I had this problem. Not just from my dad either. I got everything from he's cheating on you probably talking to multiple girls, he has a gf, your his dirty secret, you can't have a real relationship unless you meet, he doesnt really love you, just everything that could be said. And now almost 4 years later, have met 2 years ago, its gotten better but there's some tension with us. My advice, be honest about your relationship with your parents, don't hide it so they see your serious. But stay strong, if its real you guys can get through this. I would tell your mom, its just better not to hide something huge in your life. I hope all things work out!

[dragonlady]

sit down with both your parent's
tell them how you feel that you will take it slow first meet, meet you'r parent's
that you build this relationship on trust, that his thinking is not rational, that you know they are scared that you get hurt
but that is part of growing up sometimes you have to fall in order to grow
that you to whant you'r chance on love and that he deserves that chance to!
that you are sound of mind and that you promis to be carefull
maybe in the future skype with you'r parent's present so they to can sort a meet get them use to it

hope my rambling make's any sense, be honest! to your self and your parent's so they know they can trust you to make the right decision
good luck 1and keep strong!

[jamesvallee09]

Hey. I think, they feel that way only in the beginning. Time will come when they will meet that person and will surely love them. But it's a risk for you. Sometimes life is on the brighter side and sometimes the other way around. What you could do is to go for it if you want it but be prepared for its consequence. Remember that heart wounds heal longer than skin cuts. So, be prepared.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

May I ask how old you are? It's your relationship and I know your parents are just concerned for you, but in the end, the only one who needs to be happy about the relationship is YOU. Don't be afraid of what others will think. LDR's attract a lot of hate. People don't understand them, but those who are in them get it. They DO work! It's hard to let the hate go, but it's something you learn over time. People will always tell you it won't work, and it makes it that much better to prove them wrong. =]

[snow]

Been there.
What am I talking - am there.
My mom hates my boyfriend, for no reason. Same with my siblings - all 4 of them. They don't accept him because he's american and they don't "speak english" - but they all finished school with good grades in english, hell my twin was in the same class as me, she speaks english well enough to small talk, but they choose not to care.
Sadly telling my mom about my boyfriend, making her see he is a real person and all that stuff, didn't work at all. Whenever I tell her something he did for me, or show her something he got me, she just tears it down and makes it seem like he is a liar, a cheater, a bad person in general.

Unfortunately, they made me choose between my SO and them before - my dad used to say that if I want to move to America he will find ways to keep me here and as I asked what he'd do he told me he'd make me choose. (I hold no grudge against my dad, as he is trying to be supportive now, but that hurt).

Be strong, know you are not alone.

[august]

May I ask how old you are? It's your relationship and I know your parents are just concerned for you, but in the end, the only one who needs to be happy about the relationship is YOU. Don't be afraid of what others will think. LDR's attract a lot of hate. People don't understand them, but those who are in them get it. They DO work! It's hard to let the hate go, but it's something you learn over time. People will always tell you it won't work, and it makes it that much better to prove them wrong. =]

im 19, almost 20 (my birthday is this saturday hehe) my SO is 22

[august]

Been there.
What am I talking - am there.
My mom hates my boyfriend, for no reason. Same with my siblings - all 4 of them. They don't accept him because he's american and they don't "speak english" - but they all finished school with good grades in english, hell my twin was in the same class as me, she speaks english well enough to small talk, but they choose not to care.
Sadly telling my mom about my boyfriend, making her see he is a real person and all that stuff, didn't work at all. Whenever I tell her something he did for me, or show her something he got me, she just tears it down and makes it seem like he is a liar, a cheater, a bad person in general.

Unfortunately, they made me choose between my SO and them before - my dad used to say that if I want to move to America he will find ways to keep me here and as I asked what he'd do he told me he'd make me choose. (I hold no grudge against my dad, as he is trying to be supportive now, but that hurt).

Be strong, know you are not alone.

wow im so sorry about that :/ its so hard when family doesnt understand...

[redapple]

You're young but not that young and it sounds as if although not supportive your dad hasn't actively tried to stop your relationship. I'd say tell your mum if its important to you but then respect that they might not agree. As long as they don't try and block your communication then it's basically going to be ok, it's your life after all and in a few years you will most likely have your own place and therefore own rules.

[august]

my friends dont support me either ... so it sucks cause i feel so alone and i dont feel like i can trust anyone

[kacie]

My Dad doesn't support me either, and while I had suspected he wouldn't be at my wedding and didn't really think my relationship was real or will last, but today he very much confirmed all that

[august]

My Dad doesn't support me either, and while I had suspected he wouldn't be at my wedding and didn't really think my relationship was real or will last, but today he very much confirmed all that

oh:/ but youre together right now? if you are then he must see that youre both serious about your relationship... how long have you been guys together?

[Chris516]

ive only told my dad about me being in LDR and he doesnt like it cause he says i dont know him, he could be cheating, blah blah blah... he wants to know if were gonna make it"real" someday and well i hope we do obviously! but hes against it and he thinks i shouldnt tell my mom about it.
do you guys have the same problem? how do you deal with this?

I just told my mother(who naturally told my father). They were skeptical at first. Then I reminded them about my ex-wife. My ex-wife had only lived 15mi. from my house, when we met. I eventually divorced her for several reasons. My fiance presently lives 1,800mi. from me, and has given things to my parents', brother, sister-in-law, nephew, and niece. My (ex)wife was never that giving.

There is also a lot more love, between my fiance n' I. Than there ever really was, between my (ex)wife n' I. So any negativity about the distance they may have had in the beginning, has largely disappeared.