What do you do in this situation?

[ST25]

I have a dilemma, although it's an annoying one and it's concerning my LDR.

I visit my sister last summer and there was one thing she commented on my relationship: do not put all of your eggs into one basket. (Keep in mind that she's 31 and I was 19 at the time.)

I felt highly offended. I told her that she wasn't in our relationship and that she shouldn't be imposing her experiences onto mine, that just because she had a failed relationship in her past that it didn't mean that mines was going to fail as well. We got into an argument, but ever since then we never brought up my LDR again.

Now I'm starting to wonder: does she have a point? I mean, I am putting 'all of my eggs in one basket' as we speak because without that trust how is my LDR supposed to survive? I still love him deeply and even if it ended I wouldn't regret putting all of my trust into the relationship. But on the other hand, it makes me wonder if I should just cruise on this relationship with one eye closed and the other open. It's like I know she's only looking out for me (and is my sister), but I want to rely on my own choices for once. I've been following too many of peoples' suggestions when it came to running my life.

Any advice, ladies? (or gents?)

[Black_Halloween]

Don't pay attention to what she says, honestly. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship and if you're always keeping "one eye open" it'll never work.

[Mims27]

Don't let her get to you. My sister did the exact same thing to me when I told her about my SO. They just don't understand the LDR thing so they automatically assume it can't work because you are apart. Only YOU can know what you want and if you can do it. Avoiding the subject isn't good either though. Let her see how happy your SO makes you. Maybe she'll see this is the real deal.

[Hyacinth]

there is nothing wrong with having a 'back-up plan'. i've been with my SO for over 2 years now but had an idea of what i would/could do. i.e. in terms of where to live and work etc, in case things didn't work out. but nevertheless, i put myself out there completely and gave a 100%. we've had more than our fair share of ups and downs but last year Sept., we got married and my 'back-up plan' has been binned!

at the end of the day, it will really depend on the type of person you are and the experiences you've had in life. i've been through some awful relationships and i've learnt my lessons. hence, the 'back-up plan'. having a back up plan doesn't mean you can't give of yourself completely and love and trust with all you've got.

all that being said, a back up plan is just that. nothing more. every time we've gone through a rough patch, we've worked hard at it to FIX things. i never gave up simply coz i knew i could. giving up and opting for the back up plan would've been easier. less risky. but if i'd given up that easily, i wouldn't be here today, married to this man i adore and about to have his kid