Confused. Very confused.

[5000miles]

Omg. This has got to be one of the strangest circumstances I've ever heard of. I really, honestly don't think I have any good advice that hasn't already been said. Talk it out with her/him. Maybe take a "break" from being together as a couple and just be friends and get to know her/him honestly without the lies. Then a few weeks or months down the road, re-evaluate how you feel about her/him. And ask yourself things like: Does the fact that you fell in love with her/his personality over-ride the gender issues? Is s/he the same person s/he was pretending to be? Can the loss of trust be re-gained? I really don't know what I would do in your situation, and I truly wish you the best of luck.

[meLeo]

Thanks for all the advice, guys. I've been thinking and I think I won't leave him. Because I fell in love with who he is, and not only because I thought he was a boy. Surprisingly, after all the lies, I still love him just as much. We had a long chat on msn and we talked it out. I'm still with him, and we still love each other just as much. Ben is still Ben on the inside. I'm not sure of the future for the both of us, but we'll just take things as they come along. But yeah, thanks for all your advice.

meLeo, you should tell her one day, so it'd stop hurting the both of you. good luck to you.

Melly, I wish and hope she could be like you.
Yeahhh you still can accept her even though you know that she is a girl instead of boy. And of course it's hard and very tough.
I don't know how long i'm gonna be like this

[melly]

Melly, I wish and hope she could be like you.
Yeahhh you still can accept her even though you know that she is a girl instead of boy. And of course it's hard and very tough.
I don't know how long i'm gonna be like this

i'm sure she wouldn't be too hard on you. but i don't know, perhaps i'm blinded by love. heh. i love ben too much to just let love slip away like that. she's gonna find out eventually anyways, the longer this goes on, the harder the impact it'll make :/ but yeah, good luck.

thanks for all the concern and care, everyone. maybe i'm stubborn, or blind, but this gender issue thing still can't seem to affect me enough to break up with her. yeah sure she did lie to me from the very beginning. we talked and she said she's still who i thought who she was all along.. "on the inside" lol. and i guess i can sort of understand where she's coming from. so, i'll just go with the flow and see where life takes me

[LadyMarchHare]

Good luck. Perhaps you're a stronger person than I because I would have let the lying get the best of me in such a situation. I think now things will be more complicated because you're not only struggling with distance but a different gender and all around person even if essentially it's the same person at the core, but determination and patience will see you through.

[meLeo]

i'm sure she wouldn't be too hard on you. but i don't know, perhaps i'm blinded by love. heh. i love ben too much to just let love slip away like that. she's gonna find out eventually anyways, the longer this goes on, the harder the impact it'll make :/ but yeah, good luck.

thanks for all the concern and care, everyone. maybe i'm stubborn, or blind, but this gender issue thing still can't seem to affect me enough to break up with her. yeah sure she did lie to me from the very beginning. we talked and she said she's still who i thought who she was all along.. "on the inside" lol. and i guess i can sort of understand where she's coming from. so, i'll just go with the flow and see where life takes me

I'm impress and very proud with you.

For me, I surely that she will hate me and perhaps insult me. Well i just let thing flow....

[Zephii]

Good on you I hope that you can get past this and continue to make each other happy!

[rk1191]

I'm in the same opinion boat as LadyMarchHare. I would be pissed if my boyfriend lied to me for 9 monthes and (bluntly) "duped" me into a relationship through lies and pity (end bluntly) And I would dump em like *snap* that. It's not because "Oh, I'm straight, This person is weird". It's because of the HUGE lie.

To each his own, I guess. I'm sorry I'm so blunt.. I hang around blunt people x)