So my boyfriend and I are fighting majorly lately, I've been trying to get him to help me with things toward our future, ya know getting a job, getting him on his feet. His problem, he says he wants to get a job, but has a HUGE anxiety issue. To the point where it effects him getting a job, but he doesn't want to go on disability.
He deals with depression, very badly, I also deal with depression as well. Now he's been on medication off and on and strong ones at that, that haven't helped him.
His anxiety has ( in my opinion ) gotten worse, he's also become a bit more controlling ( not in an abusive way, but more like when we fight, it's more of an " I'm not backing down from this aurment, your wrong, I'm right " kinda way ) I'm pretty stubborn myself so as you can imagine our fights get pretty bad here lately
He's always dealed with anxiety but this is the worst I've seen him he says he always has a hard time during winter and he feels worse during the winter ( which is common for those that deal with depression )
We've been together for four years. This is probably one of the worst fights we've had.
I'm not sure what to do. It's to the point where we both wanted to call it quits and he said some pretty harsh things to me, I wanted to say some harsh things to him in turn but I held my anger in.
NOTE : on both sides we are dealing with personal issues, he is homeless and living with a friend, dealing with his anxiety.
Myself on the other hand have lost everything, my mom died 6 months ago, during my dads grieving he kicked me out, let me move back in, but still wants me to move out, goes back and fourth on the thought of selling the house once I move out. While things have gotten better with me and my dad now, I still and never have been able to be open with him, he isn't an emotional kinds guy, I always went to my mom if things got too bad, but I hardly went to her for things either. On top of that Robert is considering moving back to PA due to him being homeless and us fighting.
On the up side I just got my own place, but I can't let my boyfriend move in with me just yet, it's income biased for those who are elderly and disabled, my SO isn't disabled, on top of that this place is letting me move in on under the table income which is kinda a big deal seeing as I don't make much.
Once I get SSI I would like my SO to move in with me if the land lord will let him. But I'd like him to at least have a part time job, but due to his anxiety it's very hard for him.
He's a great guy. But all the fighting has effected our feelings for one another and it almost seems hopeless but we want to keep trying, but almost everytime lately we hang out we fight.... I don't get it when we were at the hotel we didn't fight this bad, but now it's worse than ever.
Any ideas on how to control the fighting?
Am I beeping too hard on him ?
Addicional Note : He has agreed to go to counseling we just need to set up an appointment for him. ( I say we because he has to use my phone to set it up, and he may want me to go with him )
He also feels I need help for my depression, counseling would be nice, but I no longer have insurmnce, so it's not an option for me atm.
Any advice at this point to save our relationship would help, at this point all we do is tear one another a part.
He deals with depression, very badly, I also deal with depression as well. Now he's been on medication off and on and strong ones at that, that haven't helped him.
His anxiety has ( in my opinion ) gotten worse, he's also become a bit more controlling ( not in an abusive way, but more like when we fight, it's more of an " I'm not backing down from this aurment, your wrong, I'm right " kinda way ) I'm pretty stubborn myself so as you can imagine our fights get pretty bad here lately
He's always dealed with anxiety but this is the worst I've seen him he says he always has a hard time during winter and he feels worse during the winter ( which is common for those that deal with depression )
We've been together for four years. This is probably one of the worst fights we've had.
I'm not sure what to do. It's to the point where we both wanted to call it quits and he said some pretty harsh things to me, I wanted to say some harsh things to him in turn but I held my anger in.
NOTE : on both sides we are dealing with personal issues, he is homeless and living with a friend, dealing with his anxiety.
Myself on the other hand have lost everything, my mom died 6 months ago, during my dads grieving he kicked me out, let me move back in, but still wants me to move out, goes back and fourth on the thought of selling the house once I move out. While things have gotten better with me and my dad now, I still and never have been able to be open with him, he isn't an emotional kinds guy, I always went to my mom if things got too bad, but I hardly went to her for things either. On top of that Robert is considering moving back to PA due to him being homeless and us fighting.
On the up side I just got my own place, but I can't let my boyfriend move in with me just yet, it's income biased for those who are elderly and disabled, my SO isn't disabled, on top of that this place is letting me move in on under the table income which is kinda a big deal seeing as I don't make much.
Once I get SSI I would like my SO to move in with me if the land lord will let him. But I'd like him to at least have a part time job, but due to his anxiety it's very hard for him.
He's a great guy. But all the fighting has effected our feelings for one another and it almost seems hopeless but we want to keep trying, but almost everytime lately we hang out we fight.... I don't get it when we were at the hotel we didn't fight this bad, but now it's worse than ever.
Any ideas on how to control the fighting?
Am I beeping too hard on him ?
Addicional Note : He has agreed to go to counseling we just need to set up an appointment for him. ( I say we because he has to use my phone to set it up, and he may want me to go with him )
He also feels I need help for my depression, counseling would be nice, but I no longer have insurmnce, so it's not an option for me atm.
Any advice at this point to save our relationship would help, at this point all we do is tear one another a part.
Comment