When to worry...

[Čternity]

So, I'll admit it. I'm the worrier in the relationship. About anything and everything. The pessimist who sees worst case scenarios but I'll always have a plan to get around obstacles, whether they happen or not. My SO is a fantastic optimist and can always see the upside. So I was wondering... Do you find yourself taking on one role or the other? Does this shift depending on the type of issue or challenge your relationship is facing?

[MTK]

I am definitely the one that worries a lot in the relationship. I tend to overthink every tiny thing and analyze it from every angle. If she's in a bad mood i kinda go into worrying mode or if something seems off i immediatly imagine the worst case scenario. I try not to do it because it can be very annoying but it's difficult to turn off. :/
But on the flipside i am also the optimist in the relationship, though it's a bit give and take. Sometimes she has the cheer me up and sometimes i have to cheer her up.

[*Georgia Peach*]

I am the worrier beyond all possible reason. Being that every relationship that I have ever been in has ended in heartbreak for me... I suppose I have a reason. But my SO is amazing. She never acts like she worries. She always cheers me up when I'm freaking out over something minute. She understands everything that I've been through and is very patient with me. I know half the stuff I worry about I shouldn't worry about, but I can't help it. I suppose it's just habitual! Lol. Thank God for my SO.

[LadyMarchHare]

I think we're both a mix of both roles but right now I've taken on the optimist role even though there are days I'll go slumping off and want to cry because I fear the worst or can't see how anything's going to get any better. But usually no matter how shitty I'M feeling, if he's feeling bad I will automatically forget my problems to cheer him up, reassure him we will get through the stress and loneliness of the distance and his being so busy. Often times my problems won't get voiced until I slip up maybe a month or so later like I did when my mom lost her job in March. The VERY SAME DAY his best friend tore at him because she wanted him and he had never been interested, now he was dating, blabla and he nearly lost his mind. I got a stern talking to about that.

But there have been days where I'm scared he'll leave me because of the stress or the way I act (a lot of my friends have abandoned me because I have some bad personality traits) and he'll calmly reassure me he's still there and once even called me so I could hear his voice and not just read his texts. We both suffer from acute paranoia, depression, and some other things because our childhoods and lives were similar in key ways so we know how to handle the doubt when it comes out of nowhere and we know who to run to when we suffer it ourselves.

[Rosebud]

This excellent timing that you posted this as I was just thinking of creating a similar one myself. Needless to say I am a huge worrywart. If the slightest thing goes wrong or seems off suddenly my whole center balance is thrown off hilter kilter and it can take quite awhile for things to get back on course. As much as I love and trust my boyfriend, I have had relationships in the past where things were fine for months, even years, until suddenly one day without warning it changed.I always feel guilty about them, that maybe if I had paid more attention I would have noticed signs that something was going off track and I could have prevented it. So now whenever feels something slightly amiss with me and my SO I have to analyze it to the fullest and absolutely make sure it's okay before moving on.

Ironically outside of relationship worries I can sometimes bring myself to be rather positive, such as when he's having issues with work/school/etc. This is mostly though as I hate to see him upset so I try to think of a solution, yet when it comes to dealing with my own stresses in these areas it pretty much flops.

[Rhiavaan]

Right now, I'm the worrier, next week it might be him. We both tend to swap out the role. When one is down the other picks up the slack and is the rock in our relationship. I guess ours is give and take in all areas now that I really think about it.

[Caitlin2009]

Oh im a big time worrier, im forever teased by Denise on how much i worry lol, anytime we have a rough patch or bad days i tend to worry alot more