Manti Te'o's Situation

[Moon]

If you haven't heard the story, check this link first. Since this is so relevant to many of us here, what do you think, was he in on it, or was he just the victim of a really cruel joke? Also, what do you think of the story in general, does it make you think any differently about online relationships?

[Irina_Linn]

Oh my god...that shocked me!! well i am extremely naive so i do believe he was a victim...but these type of jokes,emotional ones are the worst!

[rubydissolution]

That's a terrible story. And its something that can happen to anyone unfortunately. A story like this is going to set the online dating scene back a few years.

[Tooki]

Interestingly the article never mentioned that Te'o saw the girl on webcam. Me personally, I wasn't willing to pursue my relationship further until I saw my GF on webcam and spoke with her verbally.

Off-topic, I don't see any benefit to Te'o being involved in this. He has affected his NFL Draft Status big time and the whole story appears too fishy.

On the topic of online dating, this incident won't affect the situation in Australia or Europe.

[Dezface]

I agree with Tooki in that I don't see what he had to gain if he was in on it. I just don't see that type of publicity being a good thing for him.

I'm sure there will be even more skepticism about online dating now.

[Kanga]

Eh, from what I understand the guy was friends with the person who made the account, not sure the motive, but I don't think it was a prank necessarily, sounds like he might have been in on it.

However, he should have skyped with the girl, etc to make sure she was legit. Still think he was in on it.

[sewbama]

For some reason, I think he was in on it, too. Not sure what he stood to gain materially, but he did get a TON of mentions on ESPN for playing (and playing pretty well) immediately following the death of both his grandmother and girlfriend. He got a lot of press. And every story about him and this season starts with that. So maybe, it was to bolster his image, because honestly his numbers aren't terribly impressive, especially for the "most decorated college football player ever" kind of status he's been attributed. But I don't know. He could be a victim, too, of an awful prank.

As for impacting online dating, I'm sure it will impact someone. But the fact is we live in a world where connections are often easier made virtually than in person, even for CD relationships. That isn't changing. So I seriously doubt on the whole we will see anything of significance change. I met my SO online, my sister met her husband online, my SO's mom met her husband online.... The list goes on and on. That just isn't going to disappear because one guy had a prank pulled on him. Significantly worse things happen all the time (rape, kidnap, etc) that don't really change the landscape of online relationships. But it is a good reminder to know who you're talking to. Verify, if possible. All the records they said they couldn't find about that girl are things Te'o could have searched for, too. So be honest when you meet someone, and expect honesty. But verify. Do the searches, see them face to face, meet as soon as feasible. Be aware that not everything is as it seems.

[jennten]

Well the story goes that they met in person, not online. So how could he have met her if she wasn't real? Which leads me to believe that the story of their meeting (like their whole relationship) was made up and that he was in on it. Otherwise, why lie about how he met her? Also, ditto what Kanga said about him being friends with the guy behind it. I dunno. The whole thing seems too fishy and came about at such a crucial time in his career for him not to have been part of it. Oh and also, Te'o's father was talking about how she came to Hawaii to meet the family, which obviously never happened, so it seems he may have been in on it too?

Here's another article about it:
https://deadspin.com/5976517/manti-t...ason-is-a-hoax

[EDIT]- So that story that Moon posted has him denying the meeting in person and visiting in Hawaii... Hmm..

[Tooki]

Eh, from what I understand the guy was friends with the person who made the account, not sure the motive, but I don't think it was a prank necessarily, sounds like he might have been in on it.

However, he should have skyped with the girl, etc to make sure she was legit. Still think he was in on it.

From what I have read, the articles have only established that Te'o KNOWS the person. For all we know, Te'o and the creator could not be on good terms.

Sewbama: Te'o didn't need any ublicity though. He is a highly appreciated player in college football and has been given a first-round draft grade for more than a year now. (I haven't heard about him being the most decorated college player though, especially given that Tim Tebow finished playing only a couple of years ago now).

jennten: As far as I'm aware, his dad never met his GF. His GF only visited Hawaii to see Te'o. I don't see his dad being involved with this at all.

[blankita719]

It's entirely possible that he may have "met" this girl somewhere. Someone who lied about who she was, and lied about having a disease. There are people who are sick enough to pull this type of thing. I don't see the benefit of him being in on this. Everyone has been duped by someone in their life, regardless of if they met in person or online. I think I believe him that he was a victim.

[Brieasaurus]

From hearing his statement and reading how the story developed on Deadspin, I think someone (that fishy cousin R-whatever) was playing a joke on him. Just one of those crappy situations where he didn't think to prove that the girl was real and got burned in the end. Also (at least how I read things), I think he was too embarrassed to admit that they had never met. I don't know though, it's just another example that convinces others that online dating is sketchy. :/

[sewbama]

From what I have read, the articles have only established that Te'o KNOWS the person. For all we know, Te'o and the creator could not be on good terms.

Sewbama: Te'o didn't need any ublicity though. He is a highly appreciated player in college football and has been given a first-round draft grade for more than a year now. (I haven't heard about him being the most decorated college player though, especially given that Tim Tebow finished playing only a couple of years ago now).

jennten: As far as I'm aware, his dad never met his GF. His GF only visited Hawaii to see Te'o. I don't see his dad being involved with this at all.

I follow football pretty closely and have heard him referred to as one of the most highly decorated football players, particularly among defensive players. Weeks on the awards circuit, etc. A big deal was made about all the crap that he won, which was, to me -- admittedly biased -- completely overshadowed and exposed when he missed more tackles than he made in the championship game. That combined with his numbers not being really impressive (he's good, not ground-breaking) makes me think his status to the voters and choosers of these awards was driven by their perception of his "intangibles" which would include things like his ability to overcome the loss of his gf during the season. I think that shows that he did stand to gain from a PR stunt like this to gain sympathy (and then awards, and then money in the draft).

What I don't understand is why he ever talked about her to begin with. Yea, he made up that he'd met her, and MAYBE it was because he was embarrassed. But really, how many football player girlfriends are well known? Why did he have to make up the stories? AJ McCarron aside, I only know of one other football player's girlfriend, and that's because it is well known that she ACTUALLY died in the terrible tragedy of the tornado that destroyed Tuscaloosa in April 2011(I was living there at the time). Most football players keep their personal lives personal rather than public, so it wouldn't have shocked anyone for him to not bring it up. There was no need to talk about her if he was embarrassed. Who really cares? So... he had a reason, a motivation to bring her up -- the PR stunt. Obviously, conjecture, but... I can't think of another reasonable explanation.

It's a weird situation, and I look forward to more details coming out. But for now, I can't shake the feeling that he was involved.

[Riyko]

Been talking with a guy who knew my dad and knows this kids family. He was saying it doesn't sound like him to make something like this up as he'd never want to hurt his chances of getting into the NFL. He did say if he made it up for attention he'll be disappointed along with a lot of the family members, but that's all I know about that.

Sad thing is either way this'll hurt online dating especially in the states because people won't trust other people online for a little bit at least.

[Tooki]

I follow football pretty closely and have heard him referred to as one of the most highly decorated football players, particularly among defensive players. Weeks on the awards circuit, etc. A big deal was made about all the crap that he won, which was, to me -- admittedly biased -- completely overshadowed and exposed when he missed more tackles than he made in the championship game. That combined with his numbers not being really impressive (he's good, not ground-breaking) makes me think his status to the voters and choosers of these awards was driven by their perception of his "intangibles" which would include things like his ability to overcome the loss of his gf during the season. I think that shows that he did stand to gain from a PR stunt like this to gain sympathy (and then awards, and then money in the draft).

What I don't understand is why he ever talked about her to begin with. Yea, he made up that he'd met her, and MAYBE it was because he was embarrassed. But really, how many football player girlfriends are well known? Why did he have to make up the stories? AJ McCarron aside, I only know of one other football player's girlfriend, and that's because it is well known that she ACTUALLY died in the terrible tragedy of the tornado that destroyed Tuscaloosa in April 2011(I was living there at the time). Most football players keep their personal lives personal rather than public, so it wouldn't have shocked anyone for him to not bring it up. There was no need to talk about her if he was embarrassed. Who really cares? So... he had a reason, a motivation to bring her up -- the PR stunt. Obviously, conjecture, but... I can't think of another reasonable explanation.

It's a weird situation, and I look forward to more details coming out. But for now, I can't shake the feeling that he was involved.

I've heard the same as well, although a lot of people were the same about Tim Tebow and his accolades --which overshadowed the reality that he isn't a great passer and that he will subsequently bust at the NFL level. To what you said, any smart coach will hold this against him, especially given the nature of the reports that are coming out. On the NFL forum that I post on regularly, people are debating how far he will fall in the draft. Nobody thinks that he will get anything positive out of this.

Nonetheless I'll be paying attention to what unfolds.

[Malaga]

To be honest, it's entirely plausible to me that he might be the victim of a mean prank. Not to offend anyone, but most of the pro athletes I've met are quite naive and simple when it comes to personal relationships and communication. I think it's because so many of them grow up within this bubble where they're the centre of attention for most of their teen and young adult life. Especially if they're big talents and celebrities so people around them pander to them and fill their heads with various OTT crap. They also may have missed out on a lot of socialising while growing up if they were devoted to school and practice. I think it makes it harder for them to set normal standards and discern truths from lies when it comes to feelings and relationships. It's like they're hindered in the emotional intelligence department.